Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Here they are, undead and untanned….
Blog Guy, can you settle a bet I have with the guy who does grout work in my grandma’s shower?
Of course. Bet-Settlers R Us. That’s what we do here.
For a minute there you sounded almost sarcastic, Blog Guy. Anyhow, the grout guy says you can raise the dead by putting number 45 sunblock on them.
He says they have to have died in the last month or so, and you spread a strip of the sunblock on their forehead, just above their eyes. Can you check it out?
The grout guy seems to be right! You learn something new every day in this blogging game, I’ll tell you!
Chicks taking their coiffe medicine?
Blog Guy, I have a problem. I’m a very attractive woman and people tell me my hair is one of my best features.
But whenever I get a new hairstyle, my boyfriend doesn’t even notice! How can I get his attention?
A reader needs my help…
Blog Guy, I’m a regular reader of your blog, and I need a personal favor.
Sorry, I can’t really get involved with helping people, I’ve got a lot of readers.
Please! My daughter is going to Washington DC, and I know you live there. She doesn’t know a soul, and I’m hoping you can help her meet some nice young men.
Is this the best job on earth, or what?
Blog Guy, it seems like mostly you write about jobs to avoid. How about some positive career advice? Aren’t there any GREAT jobs out there?
You bet, and here I’m talking especially to you men. Every major fashion show employs a Chest Checker, and if you can score one of these jobs, you’re set for life.
Supermodel presents the “Handal”
Blog Guy, you’re pretty plugged into the flashy world of top supermodels, aren’t you?
If by “plugged in” you mean most of them have taken out restraining orders against me, then yes, I sure am.
Does this make my butt look big?
Blog Guy, I need some of your famous fashion advice. I’m a woman with a fairly large butt.
Large? I’ll say! Honey, you’ve got more crack than a drug dealer! Just a sec, let me go here for a rim shot.
My name is Cecil, I play the ukulele…
Hey there, Gorgeous! You come to this bar often?
I myself make this scene a couple times a week. Gotta spread myself around where the hot chicks are, am I right?
Yo Joey! My usual! Double Crème de Menthe on the rocks!
Anyhoo, my name’s Cecil. I’m a Leo, I play the ukulele, and I’ve been to ALL five of the the Great Lakes.
Can’t walk on the catwalk?
Boss, the models are complaining about their food again.
Lonnie, I get so tired of this! What do they expect, real meat?
Well Boss, some of them say they’re not even getting enough nutrition to make it to the end of the runway and back without stopping for a rest.
Why, we’ve even had members of the audience trying to feed them to get them back up on their feet.
Zombie models, undead and unamused
Okay, fashion show staff, as you know we’ve been struggling for some time with the problem of models showing too much emotion when they’re out on the runway.
Sure, an occasional pout or contemptuous sneer or obnoxious smirk can have its place, but our new clothing line is heading more in the direction of no emotion whatsoever.
I’d like to thank my strap that didn’t break
Blog Guy, last year you had several posts about a supposed new fashion trend in which portions of a woman’s anatomy had to be covered up with her own hand, if you take my meaning.
Did this ever catch on? Out here in Akron we haven’t seen too much of it since you wrote about it, but it’s time for the missus to get a new dress, and she was wondering should she go that route?
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Resident Oddly Enough blog Expert
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