Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Hey Liz, your bra goes…oh, never mind!
Quick quiz: This photo from a fashion show illustrates:
a) The growing problem of headless models
b) A model who is too stupid to put her big sunglasses on right
c) A model who is too stupid to put her airline sleep mask on right
d) A model who enjoyed a little hanky-panky backstage before the show, and doesn’t think anybody will notice
e) A model who frankly is just counting the days until retirement…
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A model displays a creation during a special show organised for the Elena Franchuk ANTIAIDS Foundation during Ukrainian Fashion Week in Kiev March 16, 2010. REUTERS/Gleb Garanich
Seems like clipping my toenails is a full-time job
Blog Guy, you’ve helped a lot of readers with very specific fashion needs, and I hope you can help me. I’m just a regular chick, except I have two extra legs growing out of my stomach, and just because of that small detail, I can’t find clothes to wear.
Two extra legs, huh? What’s that like?
Well, it’s much easier to do push-ups.
May I ask a very personal question?
No, you may not. Now can you help me?
Yeah, I’m going to go out on a limb here…
Limb? Stop it! I’ve heard all the bad jokes already.
I just meant this fashion creation from Kiev would give you a leg up on the other…
Fashion photography, the age of aquariums?
Blog Guy, it’s me, that aspiring photojournalist you’ve been mentoring.
Oh cripes, what now? I thought I lost you in the crowd!
Nope, your Afro wig and handlebar mustache are obvious fakes. Look, I just shot my first fashion show, and I wondered if you could critique my….
I’m Mr. Bozo, I’ll be your attorney…
So Alan, another Monday morning at the office. Whatcha got going on today?
Oh don’t even ask, Gordon! I got an Executive Board meeting all day to discuss the IBM acquisition.
That sounds awful, man. Yeah, I’ve got a visit from the SEC regulators. Those guys put me to sleep.
The mother of all wardrobe malfunctions?
Class, welcome to Wardrobe Malfunctions 101, where we’ll see what can go wrong if you try to cut corners in the high end fashion design process.
We’re going through this stuff quickly, so please take notes and pay attention.
Mom and Dad, the Beautiful People?
I should warn you, I’m kind of emotional today. See, I’m adopted, and I just got a report from a private detective who has tracked down my biological parents after all these years. You can imagine my feelings as I read it.
Hmmm. It says BOTH of my parents were models, which might explain my interest in fashion.
It’s like Halloween, every day!
Blog Guy, I’m in HUGE trouble! My school is putting on “H.M.S. Pinafore” this weekend, and I’m playing Bill Bobstay, the boatswain’s mate. Mom was supposed to make my costume but she got really hammered on mudslides and took a bunch of her pills, and….
That’s too much information, honey. Here’s the perfect outfit for you.
This model walks into a bar, see…
Lamar, those fashion models are getting uppity. Oh, they’re so full of themselves, with their beauty and glamour, we need to take ‘em down a notch.
Gosh, how do we do that, Boss?
We lower their self-esteem.
Let’s put one of ‘em in lingerie and stiletto heels, send her out on the runway with a big bottle of vodka, and have her ad lib jokes until she’s flat on the floor. She won’t feel so high and mighty then!
On the red carpet in designer gowns and Crocs?
Blog Guy, as a Hollywood media insider AND a fashion blogger, you must come under intense pressure to publicize all the glitzy designer creations worn by celebrities to the Oscars, right?
Boy, I’ll say. Those publicists are very pushy.
So how do you handle the pressure?
Well, I’m basically a nice guy, so I try to help them out. For instance, an e-mail came my way trying to publicize Oscars celebrities wearing Sergio Rossi shoes.
What are you chicks waiting for again?
“Maggie, what the hell is going on? The fashion show has started, and those three models over there don’t even have their make-up! Let’s get going!”
“But Boss, I can’t do their make-up until their hair is done!”
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