Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

She’s choking! Save the shoes!

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Blog Guy, I’m dating a fashion model…

Hey, that must be neat.

fashion heimlich crop 260It is, but I worry. She eats so little, and sometimes a raisin or a pea will go down the wrong way and she starts to choke.

So I figure I should learn that lifesaving Heimlich Maneuver.

Okay, first, you don’t want to use the standard Heimlich on her. You need the Size Zero Heimlich.

I didn’t know there was another one.

BRITAIN/Yes. The normal Heimlich would never work on today’s slender, wispy models. You’d break them in half like a twig.

This photo shows the one developed for models and used at fashion shows around the world.

They don’t call it a runway for nothin’….

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models run 490

Boss, you know how you’re always saying we need to cut costs for our fashion shows? Well, have I got great news for you!

models run vertical 200Do tell, Lamar. I hope it’s not using dead models again, or zombies. We’ve tried those things.

Top 10 things about the blog in February

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This was a very good month for the blog. I tried doing a few items in list form, and it paid off in page views. I did this for 10 reasons, but I don’t remember what they were.

USA/The most popular post of the month, by far, was Top 10 things I learned in the blizzard.

I think she wrote her own vows, too…

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Blog Guy, I’m getting married next Saturday, and I could use some advice in choosing my bridal gown.

fashion bride face 240Sure. Congratulations on the happy event! In selecting your gown, you should think about what message you want to send to your gathered loved ones, because that’s what the perfect wedding dress does.

Now, fashion news from Neptune!

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fashion saturn combo 490

Blog Guy, please  help settle an argument I’m having with my girlfriend. Do they have fashion shows on the planet Neptune?

fashion saturn king 240Of course they do, as these actual photos from the Hubble Space Telescope clearly show.

Five reasons to just go barefoot…

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shoe worst combo this one 490

Shoppers, what’s the best way to save money on shoes? By not even being tempted to buy any.

shoes worst minnie 160Here are five examples of footwear from major fashion shows in the past month. I think most folks would rather wear flip-flops.

Twice the shame, twice the idiocy…

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As a blogger who watches stupid fashions all over the world, I’ve always been happy about one thing. No matter how dumb an outfit is, I only have to see it once.

fashion yellow 490

Until this week, that is. Spotting the outfit on the left, from New York, I set it aside to think of a way to express my contempt. Four days later I’m looking at photos from Madrid, and THERE IT IS AGAIN!

ALL of you girls are named Bambi?

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BRITAIN/

Okay, Dr., uh, Smith, let me see if I understand what you’re saying here.

BRITAIN/You’re telling me that you can breed fashion models that are part human and part animal, so they can show our new designs but we don’t have to pay them? Is that it?

Do they look pretty presentable, all things considered? Antlers AND fur? I guess nobody’s perfect.

I’m sporty and sexy and what else?

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Blog Guy, I was intrigued by your post about models having to get “instructions” before fashion shows. Were you able to learn anything more about what they were being told?

No, but I have learned more about how important it is to motivate folks just before a big event.

It hurts so bad! Too much to think about!

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Somebody needs to help me out with this one. We have TWO photos purporting to show fashion models “listening to instructions” before presenting creations at a fashion show.

HUH?

models listen 490

I can buy a team of surgeons getting final instructions before creating the Six Million Dollar Man, but what kind of instructions do models need to hear?