Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Crack me another walnut, honey pie!

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Blog Guy, I have a fashion problem. Lots of times on a date a guy will offer me a walnut, but I never know how I’m supposed to crack it.

dumb shoes 260You came to the right place. Check out these designer shoes, made to meet all of a chick’s nutcracking needs. One good stomp, and you’ll be scarfing down tasty walnut bits for hours.

Plus they can do pecans, Brazil nuts, coconuts…

Awesome! My other problem is, I don’t know what to do with the walnut shells. Like if we’re in a hotel room it’s rude to just leave them on the floor, isn’t it?

HONGKONGOnce again, haute couture to the rescue. This dress which features a large upsweep receptacle for nut shells, olive pits, watermelon rinds, chicken bones…..

I love what you’ve done to your hair

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rio hair combo 490

Okay fashion show staff, we’re still looking for ways to save money on these shows, and we think we’ve found a good way to curb the soaring cost of hair stylists.

BRAZIL/There is a group of folks who will work cheap, they are eager to learn and they have lots of time on their hands.

Nursery rhymes for trendy times…

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fashion rhymes combo 490

Little Bo peep has lost her sheep
And hopes that they haven’t got ill
If they are found, please send them down,
To Fashion Week in Brazil

* * * *

Jack Sprat could eat no fat,
His wife could eat no lean,
They had a daughter with an eating disorder,
Who modeled in a magazine

The easy answer to airline security…

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Blog Guy, I know you’ve done security consulting before. What’s the answer to this new air safety controversy over full body frisking, etc?

peoples choice vinyl crop 220Oh, please. The so-called “experts” are overlooking the perfect solution.

The WORST men’s fashions: crapfest on the catwalk!

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As a former male model myself, I have to say that… What? Oh, sorry, I’ve just been told that having my picture in my high school yearbook doesn’t technically make me one of those. How embarrassing.

men's worst combo 490

Anyway, I was going to say that lots of readers ask me why real guys would dress in some of these outfits you see here from major international fashion shows.

Manure couture: Top 10 worst women’s fashions

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worst top combo 490

Readers say to me, “Bob, I know you cover crap fashion better than anybody. Are all dumb fashion creations equally bad, or is there an actual bottom of the barrel?”

My answer is, while we probably haven’t seen the bottom of the barrel yet, some stupid creations are certainly worse than others.

Top 10 signs that the end is very near…

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Regular readers of this blog know that we have taken on the heavy responsibility of pointing out signs of the coming Apocalypse.

PHILIPPINES/We do this as a public service. Why should you pre-pay for a vacation for a date when life as we know it will no longer exist?

A very special holiday time at the blog

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Blog Guy, do you have anything special coming up in your blog for the holidays?

Do I!

Do you?

Yes, that’s what I meant by “Do I! “

CHINA/

Traditionally the end of the year is a time of lists and recognition, and I’m starting off tomorrow with the closely-watched Goofiest Photos of the Year announcement.

Then comes the Top Ten Blog Items of the Year as measured by reader page views, followed by my personal list of favorite posts for the year. And of course the annual Oddly Enough Blog staff photo, some thank-yous, etc.

Hey look! It’s Super Wastebasket Man!

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Fashion Show security staff. Come in, please. Give me a situation report on the nude intruder we found backstage.

PALESTINIANS-ISRAEL/

Yes sir, we apprehended him. He claimed he was a male model in the show, but he was buck-naked and deranged.

I see England, I see France, I see special underpants…

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SPAIN/

I tend to have to take a lot of crap from female readers who say that I use too many photos of attractive women and not enough of men.

So this one is for you complainers.  Shots of  trim, fit, muscular, buff young male models, displaying underwear for surprised pedestrians from glass window boxes in Madrid.