Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Ya want me back in the shower, Mr. Hitchcock?

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“Ding-dong!”

“Dear, one of the young ladies from that Manson family up the street is here selling homemade lunchmeat! Can she put us down for some?”

Okay, that was an imaginary conversation. But this photo here, which I have artfully censored, is an actual “creation” from a fashion collection in Milan this week. I did not make it up.

So what I wonder is, how far does this insane circle of sociopathy extend? Some designer draws a sketch and says, “Hey boss! Look what I came up with!”

Then, instead of having the designer institutionalized, the boss just says, “Great job! Have this made in time for the September show!”

Gals, time to get your nails done!

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Okay fashion show staff, you’re all aware of our problem.

Our designer shoes are so uncomfortable, our models won’t wear them. As you can see here, they just take them off in the middle of the runway!

We’ve had lots of falls recently, and now, God forbid, people have started debating whether women have the right to wear “comfortable” shoes to work. This could be the end of us.

Golly, I don’t have enough pockets for all my cash!

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If  you get all of your fashion guidance from this blog – and boy, you should be easy to spot in a crowd – you know I pay close attention to police decoy fashions.

Tempting bad guys to commit crimes is a challenge in our litigious society. So as usual, I’m attending the annual “Hook ‘em and Book ‘em.”

Models, we’re havin’ a Wingding!

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Okay, fashion show staff, I wanna know who played this little joke, and I wanna know now!

You know what I’m talking about. One of you printed up some “books” with that Microsoft Wingdings font, and told the models there would be a “test” after the show!

You’ve reached the firm of Ponce, Bonache and Gotcha!

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Blog Guy, do you stand behind the info in your photo captions? Is there a chance anybody ever pulls a fast one on you?

We do our best to check information, but my own personal suspicion is that sometimes people in Spain are having a laugh at my expense.

Presenting the Quickini!

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Blog Guy, I’m hoping you can help me out with a fashion dilemma.

I’m a gal who likes wearing a comfy bikini on a sun-drenched beach vacation. But if there’s a really hunky guy there, I want to look my natural best, which includes enhancing my swimsuit with padding to make my you-know-whats look big.

Your feet?

No. Think about it, Blog Guy. Anyway, of course by the time I spot the hunk it’s too late to run back to the changing room, so what am I to do?

Don’t do anything abnormal, dear!

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Now don’t panic, readers. Appearances can be deceiving. I know it LOOKS like these folks have hooks piercing their skin, but in reality…

Oh, sorry. It turns out that IS what’s going on here.

“Bye Brenda, you have fun with your friends at the tattoo convention, and be careful!”

Copy that, Copycat!

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From Japan comes news that the luxury brand Hermes will soon provide a new luxury helicopter service between luxury downtown Tokyo and luxury Narita Airport.

This is great for folks who hate making the long trip by taxi or bus, unless you’re bothered by the $790 one-way fare. Plus I’m sure they expect you to just give them $800 and say keep the change.

We don’t need none of that!

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Welcome to my brand new feature which I call, What Don’t We Need, Bob?

The rules are fairly simple. I’ll list some stuff, and you figure out what we can do without. It’s fun, let’s try it!

1) World peace

2. Free first class upgrades

3) A cure for lupus

4) Outdoor air conditioning

5} Swimsuits that look like lederhosen

Very good! ALL of you were quick to identify traditional Bavarian leather trousers as something that we don’t really need in swimsuit form in our lifetime.

High fashion, it’s all in the execution?

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Blog Guy, please let me jump in here quickly because I have special fashion needs which are fairly urgent.

Okay, I’ve never heard of urgent fashion needs, but go on…

I’m Judy, a wartime spy facing the firing squad, and naturally I want to look my best. I’m furious!  No designers are producing chic blindfolds!