Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

A box of castanets for my pink bird, please…

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Blog Guy, like many of your readers I have very special fashion needs. I dance the flamenco.

You mean those festive pink birds like I have in my front yard?

No, those are flamingos. I dance the flamenco. You know, with castanets.

That candy you get at the movies?

No, those are Raisinets! Please try to follow me. I clap my hands and stamp my feet a lot.

Yeah, my son used to do that when I wouldn’t buy him a box of castanets.

You seem like a very stupid person, Blog Guy.

Maybe, but I’m not the one who wants to dress like a lawn ornament.

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Above: Flamingos crowd in a restroom at Miami’s Metro Zoo for protection from a hurricane in 1998 file photo.

Right: Models present creations by Lina during a Flamenco Fashion Show on Triana bridge in Seville, July 20, 2009. REUTERS/ Marcelo del Pozo

And the Father of the Year award goes to…

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Blog Guy, have you noticed how hard it is to buy World War Two German uniforms these days?

Uh, yeah. I guess you could say führer and führer shops are selling them…

Nice melons, soldier!

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Blog Guy, you seem to know quite a lot about how the military works in various countries, so I have a question.

I’ll do my best.

I was wondering how the paramilitary police carry watermelons in China.

I get that question a lot, and I believe this photo illustrates the technique they use.

It’s ME, Grammy, all dressed up!

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Dear Mr. Big Shot Fashion Designer:

I am writing to say I believe you designers should be required to include, on every outfit you sell, a label suggesting places where the thing can be worn.

This would certainly help me respond when my wife says, “Bob, what is this fricking crap in your closet, and just where do you think you’re going in it?”

Well-rounded readers pick best posts…

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This blog’s top five most popular posts for June reflected the well- rounded interests of my readers.

They clearly are absorbed by space, flocking to a post about chicks from other planets. Also the presidency – Obama eating a candy bar – and the legal system, in the form of the Phil Spector trial.

Stand out, but not too much…

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Blog Guy, you don’t know me… You never saw me, we never had this conversation. I know you help people with certain fashion needs find appropriate attire. I represent the 42 million people in the Witness Protection Program. When you’re disguised all the time, it’s not easy to look chic.

Wait a minute. There are 42 million of us?

Us? You’re in the program?  Hey, clever disguise, doing a blog that anybody in the world can read. Then you know we have parties, cruises, WPP discounts… So is anybody creating fashions for us?

Honey, where’s my pale cream tunic?

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“Versace and Gucci…started their shows with men dressed in white or pale creams. Versace also showed comfort with unbuttoned tunics and safari-like jackets…”
Reuters story from Milan Fashion Week

Blog Guy, I know you write a lot about haute couture. Where do the big designers get ideas for their creations?

Just leave your parrot outside, sir…

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Come in and have a seat, Mr. Johnson, and thanks for your application to join our little company.

Let’s see, it says here your last position was in Somalia! Well, that’s quite a long ways away, I guess. Iowa, or someplace?

Get out of the way for courier couture!

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Blog Guy, you’ve helped all kinds of professions find high-fashion attire to suit their needs. Ventriloquists, police decoys, even Smurfs. Can you help my proud profession, bicycle messengers?

I see you cycle couriers all over downtown areas, zipping along, always a violent curse on your lips. Do you have a slogan, like that rain and sleet one the postmen have?

You call for some professional whippers?

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Afternoon, Mr. Johnson, we’re the whippers you called for. You know, from Acme Whipping and Lawn Care.

You probably saw our ad in the Yellow Pages: “Acme, we can whip anybody!”