Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Ah, this is the life, right Lamar? Fashion Week in Brazil, where the women are gorgeous and shapely and we can really show off our most daring bikinis.
That’s our bikini model, Boss. Too fat?
Lamar, you dimwit! No woman is going to buy one of our swimsuits to try and look like that bony twig! Cripes, I’m afraid she’ll have a wardrobe malfunction when her shoulder blade cuts through the bra strap!
Don’t be so negative, Boss. Give me a couple of days of feeding her doughnuts and milkshakes nonstop, and we can bulk her up to a size zero. Trust me, she’ll be up to 70 pounds by Monday.
Lamar, we’ve got another big fashion show today, and money is still very tight.
I sure did, boss. I’d introduce you but they’re tied up right now.
Well, I’d sure like to see them, Lamar. Are they really that busy?
No, not busy, just tied up, like I said.
I figured if I tied up some women and bought ‘em in for the show, then our only cost is 50 yards of clothesline. That’s it.
Lamar, we’ve got yet another fashion show today and we’re still broke. Did you manage to find us an affordable male model?
We’ve got another fashion show today, Lamar, and money is still very tight. Did you manage to find us a model who works cheap?
What’s wrong with her, Lamar? There’s always something wrong with those cheap ones you get.
Blog Guy, are you still setting up fantasy photos for your readers?
Yes, when I’m in the mood. What do you have in mind?
Say, you’re kind of strange, aren’t you?
No, I like to think I’m just a normal reader.
Yeah? I like to think I’m the President of Honduras. So apart from this nasty chocolate guy, could you possibly make the scene any creepier?
Lonnie, what were we thinking? I KNEW we shouldn’t have booked a fashion show in Mexico, what with the drug wars, the gang hits, the brazen shootouts all over the place!
It’ll be fine, Boss. Some of the models want to wear Kevlar vests on the runway, but those are pretty fashionable these days.
Okay publishing staff, we’re here to start promoting the latest volumes in our wildly popular “Where’s Waldo?” series of children’s books.
Cripes, Boss, MORE Waldo books? Haven’t we run that into the ground? It’s getting easier and easier for kids to spot that guy in a red and white striped shirt!
This time I have a real good feeling, boss. My shrink gave me some names of women in his Forgetful and Absent-Minded Therapy Group, and they look pretty presentable.