Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Are you the models from Moody Judy?

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FASHION/

Okay Lamar, we’re back to doing our fashion shows on the cheap, since we blew all that money on supermodels last week.

fashion chair vertical this 220So, did you find a way to save us money on models for today’s show?

I sure did, Boss. I hired girls with real bad attitude.

How bad?

They gave me a long list of stuff they won’t do.

Like what?

Like smile. Or show any personality. Or wear red lipstick.

Well, just as long as they can walk to the end of the runway and turn around, I’ll be satisfied.

Oh right, about that, Boss. The girls get a five-minute break to sulk and pout in a chair before they turn around and come back.

Jeez, Lamar, where did you find these chicks?

GEORGIA/

Mostly from cut-rate specialty agencies, like Moody Judy’s Models and Surly Shirley’s Bitter Sitters.

A walk in the park with an obvious narc?

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decoy 490

Blog Guy, you used to blog a lot about the new fashions for police decoys, those guys who try to look like such tempting targets that criminals can’t resist going after them. But you haven’t shown us the new stuff for ages.

decoy fashions vertical 240You’re right. I used to cover all the big decoy fashion trade shows. “Snare Wear,” “Con Com,” “Hook ‘em and Book ‘em…”

Juicy fruits in our birthday suits?

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UKRAINE-FASHION/

Sit down, sir. As your neighborhood bank manager I appreciate you coming to us for your small business loan. Now, tell me a little about your idea.

It’s pretty simple. I plan to launch Lamar’s Buck Naked Door-to-Door Fruit.

Tired of rooting through your purse, girls?

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invisible purse 490

 

Okay marketing staff, as you know our regular fashions aren’t selling very well, which is why we’ve started inventing NEW articles of clothing and creating a demand.

see through purse 240You will recall that Lamar designed two such items, the Rube Tube and the Skank Top, which were runaway bestsellers. Lamar, what have you got to follow that up with?

Another tragic thinking mishap…

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UKRAINE-FASHION/

Lamar!

What is it this time, Boss?

There’s smoke coming out of that model’s hair out there on the runway! What’s wrong with her?

UKRAINE-FASHION/I guess that’s my fault, Boss. She was looking for something to read backstage, so I showed her those Reuters Analysis and Opinion things, on my iPad.

Okay, who’s got my pajama top?

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male models combo 490

Lamar, get your butt into my office! Is there some kind of labor unrest out there? I don’t like that.

I’m all over it, Boss. Some of the male models are kind of skittish over security concerns.

You lookin’ at me?

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fashion skull combo 490

Hey Clancy, thanks for gettin’ us into that party, but I must say it creeped me out a little.

FRANCE-FASHION/Really, Lamar? What was wrong?

Are you kidding me, Clancy? That one chick had her eye on me all evening.

I guess I didn’t notice her. Was it the brunette in the skullcap?

Nope, it was another one. She had me in her mind’s eye, for sure.

And another creepy thing was that strange chick who paid that short guy with the elbow-length rubber gloves to walk behind her as part of her outfit.

Give us a big smile, your majesty!

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TRINIDAD/

Say, Blog Guy, whatever happened to that coveted position you used to write about, the Queen of the Entire World?

queen of world vertical 240I remember you used to tell us whenever someone new got the title, but that motorcycle chick in the gold lamé swimsuit and stilettos seems to have reigned for some time now.

Finally, a job for you bikers…

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ducati bikers 490

Blog Guy, I’m hoping I can get some of your famous job-hunting advice. I’m a guy who likes to ride motorcycles.

Ah. Any other skills?

ducati models 320Absolutely none.

Well, normally I wouldn’t have much to offer someone with your, um, limited qualifications.

Fashion has its ups and downs…

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fashion elevators combo 490

Okay Lamar, you’ve done some pretty strange stuff to save money on our fashion shows, but this time I’m totally confused.

FRANCE-FASHION/What the hell are we doing gathered here with the fashion press in a posh hotel lobby?