Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Okay Lamar, we’re back to doing our fashion shows on the cheap, since we blew all that money on supermodels last week.
So, did you find a way to save us money on models for today’s show?
I sure did, Boss. I hired girls with real bad attitude.
They gave me a long list of stuff they won’t do.
Like smile. Or show any personality. Or wear red lipstick.
Well, just as long as they can walk to the end of the runway and turn around, I’ll be satisfied.
Oh right, about that, Boss. The girls get a five-minute break to sulk and pout in a chair before they turn around and come back.
Jeez, Lamar, where did you find these chicks?
Mostly from cut-rate specialty agencies, like Moody Judy’s Models and Surly Shirley’s Bitter Sitters.
Blog Guy, you used to blog a lot about the new fashions for police decoys, those guys who try to look like such tempting targets that criminals can’t resist going after them. But you haven’t shown us the new stuff for ages.
You’re right. I used to cover all the big decoy fashion trade shows. “Snare Wear,” “Con Com,” “Hook ‘em and Book ‘em…”
Okay marketing staff, as you know our regular fashions aren’t selling very well, which is why we’ve started inventing NEW articles of clothing and creating a demand.
You will recall that Lamar designed two such items, the Rube Tube and the Skank Top, which were runaway bestsellers. Lamar, what have you got to follow that up with?
What is it this time, Boss?
There’s smoke coming out of that model’s hair out there on the runway! What’s wrong with her?
I guess that’s my fault, Boss. She was looking for something to read backstage, so I showed her those Reuters Analysis and Opinion things, on my iPad.
Hey Clancy, thanks for gettin’ us into that party, but I must say it creeped me out a little.
Really, Lamar? What was wrong?
Are you kidding me, Clancy? That one chick had her eye on me all evening.
I guess I didn’t notice her. Was it the brunette in the skullcap?
Nope, it was another one. She had me in her mind’s eye, for sure.
And another creepy thing was that strange chick who paid that short guy with the elbow-length rubber gloves to walk behind her as part of her outfit.
Say, Blog Guy, whatever happened to that coveted position you used to write about, the Queen of the Entire World?
I remember you used to tell us whenever someone new got the title, but that motorcycle chick in the gold lamé swimsuit and stilettos seems to have reigned for some time now.