Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Scarlet women prowl the catwalk…

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fashion redheads 490

Lamar! Get your butt into my office!

What is it THIS time, Boss?

What is the deal with those models out there in today’s fashion show? Their faces are all bright red!

fashion red face combo 340But Boss! Your memo said specifically you wanted redheads, so I replaced the lights in the dressing room mirrors with tanning lamps. I thought it worked out pretty well.

Lamar, you simpleton, I meant they should have red HAIR! If I had known you were this dense I would have worded it more carefully.

I hope there wasn’t anything else in the memo that you didn’t understand. As I recall, I also asked for some models with smoldering eyes…

Again with those goddesses from Neptune?

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fashion pugh combo 490

Blog Guy, I read something very strange recently, and I want to find out if it’s true. It was in a blog.

golden model 240Then I’m guessing it is true. They monitor us bloggers pretty carefully for any sign that we’re deviating from what is factual.

Really? You’ve had no professional training?

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fashion insane this 490

Lamar, I’m at the end of my rope. We have to find cheaper models for our fashion shows. We’ve tried zombies, dead people, puppets….

FRANCE-FASHION/What we need is a group of women who will make their own outfits, do their own hair and makeup, and strut the runway, all for free.

And now, for you smarty-pants kids…

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Okay, publishing staff, I’ll tell you why we called this meeting.

Children’s books aren’t selling as well as they used to. We need to retool them a bit for today’s more sophisticated kids, and for the the dads who do the bedtime reading.

ITALY-FASHION/You know, maybe even a tad risqué.

Now, Lamar has been brainstorming this, and he has some ideas for us. Lamar, fill us in….

Welcome to our model town…

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gown town this 490

(to the tune of Petula Clark’s “Downtown“)

When you want lookers
But you can’t afford hookers
Here’s the place to go, Gown Town

You’ll be a hero
‘Cause they’re all a Size Zero
If you find them in, Gown Town…

Best of all, there’s nothing to tuck in

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Hello Mr. Henderson, I’m Jimmy. I’m here to take your daughter out.

FASHION-SPAIN/What? My outfit? It’s the latest thing. I bought it right off the floor at a major fashion show.

Yep, this beauty is part of the Fall/Winter collection. I suppose I should add a hat during the winter.

Models with low sylph-esteem?

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fashion skinny 490

Blog Guy, I need some of your famous career advice. I want to find a job.

FASHION-BRITAIN/What’s been holding you back, if I might ask?

Well, I’ve had a run of bad luck that left me pretty skinny. First, I fell asleep on the liposuction machine and it ran all night, and then I got a tapeworm….

Gosh. I suppose maybe you could…

I’m not finished with my sad story. Then I got lost in a cave for six weeks without any food. When I finally got out, I was rescued by a weight loss club.

Curses! Here comes Big Red!

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heroines combo 490

Blog Guy, I’m a young female who wants to become a super heroine, sort of like Wonder Woman. I know she was an Amazon. Any idea where she bought her costume?

I guess Amazon.com would be too obvious?

heroine redhead 240Oh. That makes sense. You’ve written about a place called Super-Chicks R Us. Are they still in business?

Your eyelids are getting heavy, and it’s not just the makeup

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FASHION-DENNISBASSO/

Lamar, we’ve got another fashion show today and our finances are still in the toilet. Do you have any new ways to save money?

hypnisis fashion vertical 220You bet I do, Boss. I’ve been hypnotizing the models backstage while I put on their makeup.

You ever try flossing, Catherine?

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zeta jones 490

“Michael, hold still so I can see myself in your fancy sunglasses. Do I have something between my teeth? I can feel it…”

FASHION-MICHAELKORS/“Ewwwww, Catherine! I told you not to have that spinach quiche for breakfast! Cripes! There’s a huge chunk of green stuff hanging out of your mouth!”