Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Lamar, we’ve got another big fashion show today. What have you done to cut costs? I’m worried about this rule that we have to have food for the models.
Are you kidding, Boss? That costs us nothing! I just put out the five sliders again.
Excuse me? What sliders?
Sorry Boss, I thought you knew. Back in 1958 my grandmother made some little hamburgers for our very first fashion show. They were so plump and succulent, of course the models didn’t dare come near them.
Now, I put the same burgers out each year and spritz a little Eau de Boeuf spray around the table.
Blog Guy, I really need your help with a relationship problem. I’m pretty sure my girlfriend is stepping out on me.
Yeah. You know what I mean…
Quick quiz: The bewildered and confused young women seen here…
a) just can’t understand why they had to get up at noon on a Friday.
b) have just been asked if World War I was fought before or after World War II.
c) have been told they’ve won a dinner date with somebody named Lamar, and they are wary.
d) are actually fashion models, getting “instructions” about the complicated process of walking down a runway, turning around and walking back.
Psssssssssst! Blog Guy, it’s me!
Wally? My old roommate from the Witness Protection Program?
No, you dimwit, I’m The Elephant Man! I was famous when my movie came out, back in 1980, and I’d like some of your fashion advice. I want to start hitting the singles bar scene, but I need a hip wardrobe.
Ah, that empty oat bag over your head and the stupid floppy cap aren’t making it any more, huh?
Um, Blog Guy, you write about fashion real good. We are two very famous designers, and we would like to have you cover our new clothes and stuff. Okay?
Sure. If you’re really big designers, I’ll see your creations at one of the big international shows.
Johnson, get your butt into my office! You call yourself a news photographer? You’ve covered the fashion show all week, and not a single shot of a model falling down!
Well thankfully it’s been a pretty safe show, Boss…
Thankfully? You think readers wanna see skinny chicks standing upright in boring outfits? They want pratfalls! Accidents!
Blog Guy, I’m a woman who likes to look her best at all times. I have an irrational fear of being caught out in the jungle, without my luggage, and no way to accessorize my outfit.
My psychiatrist said you might be able to do something.
Yes, help is available. Many women share this fear. You are not alone.
I strongly recommend a six-week jungle survival fashion course, called “Going Rogue, But Staying Vogue.”
Blog Guy, this is the season of all the major award ceremonies. They all kind of blend together, except I must say I’ve read amazing things about the National Television Awards, in London.
They’re all true. The event well deserves its nickname, “The Miracle Awards.”