Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Along came a slider who sat down beside her…

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Lamar, we’ve got another big fashion show today. What have you done to cut costs? I’m worried about this rule that we have to have food for the models.

COLOMBIA/Are you kidding, Boss? That costs us nothing! I just put out the five sliders again.

Excuse me? What sliders?

Sorry Boss, I thought you knew. Back in 1958 my grandmother made some little hamburgers for our very first fashion show. They were so plump and succulent, of course the models didn’t dare come near them.

Now, I put the same burgers out each year and spritz a little Eau de Boeuf spray around the table.

The key to a great Valentine?

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locks shoes 490

Blog Guy, I really need your help with a relationship problem. I’m pretty sure my girlfriend is stepping out on me.

fashion locks vertical 220Stepping out?

Yeah. You know what I mean…

Oh. Jeez, can’t you try one of our other blogs written by smarter people? Like Faithworld or Felix Salmon?

Fashion models, hither and yawn…

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Quick quiz: The bewildered and confused young women seen here…

FASHION/LUCALUCAa) just can’t understand why they had to get up at noon on a Friday.

b) have just been asked if World War I was fought before or after World War II.

c) have been told they’ve won a dinner date with somebody named Lamar, and they are wary.

d) are actually fashion models, getting “instructions” about the complicated process of walking down a runway, turning around and walking back.

Yeah baby, I used to be famous!

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BRAZIL/

Psssssssssst! Blog Guy, it’s me!

elephant man japan 180Wally? My old roommate from the Witness Protection Program?

No, you dimwit, I’m The Elephant Man! I was famous when my movie came out, back in 1980, and I’d like some of your fashion advice. I want to start hitting the singles bar scene, but I need a hip wardrobe.

Ah, that empty oat bag over your head and the stupid floppy cap aren’t making it any more, huh?

When designers stay up past bedtime…

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BRAZIL/

Um, Blog Guy, you write about fashion real good. We are two very famous designers, and we would like to have you cover our new clothes and stuff. Okay?

BRAZIL/Sure. If you’re really big designers, I’ll see your creations at one of the big international shows.

Fall fashions? Your slip is showing…

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BRAZIL/

Johnson, get your butt into my office! You call yourself a news photographer? You’ve covered the fashion show all week, and not a single shot of a model falling down!

Well thankfully it’s been a pretty safe show, Boss…

BRAZIL/Thankfully? You think readers wanna see skinny chicks standing upright in boring outfits? They want pratfalls! Accidents!

Look chic when it’s a jungle out there!

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Blog Guy, I’m a woman who likes to look her best at all times. I have an irrational fear of being caught out in the jungle, without my luggage, and no way to accessorize my outfit.

fashion survival boots 300My psychiatrist said you might be able to do something.

Yes, help is available. Many women share this fear. You are not alone.

I strongly recommend a six-week jungle survival fashion course, called “Going Rogue, But Staying Vogue.”

Try walking with more Bounce, girls!

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SPAIN/

Hey Sweetie, have you gone to the laundromat yet this week?  I really need some clean underwear.

fashion washing vertical 260Sorry Honey, I haven’t done that. It just creeps me out, now that they’re doing live fashion shows from that place!

Well, if that’s not a miracle!

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BRITAIN/

Blog Guy, this is the season of all the major award ceremonies. They all kind of blend together, except I must say I’ve read amazing things about the National Television Awards, in London.

BRITAINThey’re all true. The event well deserves its nickname, “The Miracle Awards.”

Time to slather on more makeup, honey!

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Blog Guy, I’m an 18-year-old girl and I want to be a model, but my parents won’t let me take modeling classes!

model combo apple line 300Can you please tell them what a glamorous and exciting life fashion models lead?