Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
I can’t put my finger on it, Lamar, but there’s something strange about the models we’re using for this fashion show. They’re not the usual girls, are they?
No Boss, you said we had to save some money, and I had a brilliant idea. You’re gonna love this one.
Oh Lord, another one of your brilliant ideas, Lamar? What did you do this time?
I went over to a hospital early this morning and picked up some women who were scheduled for brain surgery. They’ve already been prepped, and they’re partially anesthetized already!
So they don’t know where they are, or what they’re doing? Pretty much like our regular models?
Lamar, get in my office, right now! You’re the one who arranged for the dressing room and backstage facilities for the models here at the fashion show, right?
That’s right, Boss. You think I went overboard?
What amenities did you order?
Jeez, I’ll have to look at my copy of the contract, Boss. Let’s see. A mirror, a table, a metal chair, a fancy, deluxe, top-of-the-line coat rack, a splintered plank floor….
Blog Guy, if I’m not mistaken, the big annual Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show was held last night. I come to your blog for all my shameless retail lingerie news, so what can you tell us about it?
You know, I got kind of bored with this one, but I can give you a few details.
I gather from seeing our photos that this year’s theme was “Great Acid Trips of the 1960s.”
Quick quiz: The fashion model seen here is weeping because…
a) Peace in the Middle East is such an elusive goal.
b) There just isn’t enough time to help everyone who needs it.
c) “Bridge Over Troubled Water” is SO intense.
d) She is overwhelmed by the incredible beauty of a simple butterfly.
e) She doesn’t like her haircut.
Sorry, all of you who chose Middle East peace.
That was a good guess, but this lady was reduced to tears because her stylist cut too much off before a fashion show, and apparently she’s never heard of wigs or stocking caps or anything like that.
You sort of have to wonder HOW too much got cut off, what with all the mirrors they have backstage and the fact that models probably spend 98 percent of their time worrying about their own looks.
Blog Guy, I want to pick your brain.
You’re going to need a court order for that.
No, I just want to make use of your wealth of knowledge about the fashion world.
Who are the very, very most beautiful supermodels in the world right now? You know, the ones that can light up a runway with their very presence.
Lamar, I thought you said we were having our fashion show in the underground parking garage to save money. But it says here we’ll be on the real runway. We’re not made of money.
Boss, I’m all over it. I got us the cheapest spot. They’re practically paying us to take it!
Okay fashion show staff, we really need to cut costs on our fashion show this week. Lamar, I put you in charge of trimming the fat. What have you come up with?
Boss, I think you’ll like this. First, we’re not showing our creations on the runway, where all the other designers are. That will save us a fortune.
As a part of the international fashion industry press corps I would never poke fun at the designers, models, creations or glitzy shows. I know which side my thin-sliced sprouted whole grain toast is not buttered on, or however that expression goes.
But let’s all think about this one.
Here, from a collection this week at a big fashion show, is a “creation” which looks for all the world like a commercial pilot’s uniform. It comes complete with a life jacket, the kind they show you at the start of every flight.
Lamar! The fashion show is about to start, and one of the models is topless!
Only the one, Boss? I don’t know what the others were thinking of. I’ll talk to them.
No, Lamar! They’re SUPPOSED to have tops! This isn’t HBO!
Run backstage right away where we keep those, you know, what-do-you-call-ems?
What are you talking about, Boss? You’re hysterical!
You know, those things! Two circles, connected. Please, hurry!
Okay Boss, I figured out what you meant. It’s all taken care of.
Bless you, Lamar. You complete me….
A model presents a creation by French designer Jean-Charles de Castelbajac as part of his Spring/Summer 2011 women’s ready-to-wear collection during Paris Fashion Week October 5, 2010. REUTERS/Pascal Rossignol
Blog Guy, you’ve helped a lot of people with unusual fashion needs. Firing squad victims, satyrs, gladiators’ wives, Smurfs… I’m a puppet, see, and it’s hard for us to find nice clothes. Can you help?
Yeah, I guess I can pull some strings…
You’re an idiot, Blog Guy. The things with the strings are marionettes. Puppets are the OTHER thing.