Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Stop staring at my assets!

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COLOMBIA-FASHION/

Blog Guy, I’m a young woman with an unusual problem. I’m just too beautiful.

Excuse me? How is that a problem? You can probably make money from that.

FRANCE-FASHION/I grow tired of fending off suitors and discouraging courtship. What can I do to turn guys off?

It sounds like you’re off to a good start, using words like “suitors” and “courtship.”

Thank you, but I was hoping you might suggest designs that would show nothing, rendering me totally resistible.

Ya think she might be nuts, Lamar?

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fashion yellow 490

So wait a minute, Lamar. Tell me again how you know this chick who’s coming here to the bar?

I haven’t actually met her, Lonnie, but she sounds very hot.

FRANCE-FASHION/And she’s a real model?

You bet. She just modeled at Paris Fashion Week. It doesn’t get any better than that.

World’s ugliest shoes? Quite a feet!

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red shoes 490

Lamar, I put you in charge of creating our label’s signature new shoe for spring. Our competition is the Holy Grail of of shoes, the stiletto in the top photo. The stuff dreams are made of. Sleek, sensual, five straps, platform soles, 14-inch heels. Lusty Cherry Red!

Let’s see what you’ve come up with to blow that bad boy out of the water!

Look, Mr. Purina has a new outfit!

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Man, am I pumped!

SPAIN-FASHIONLet me back up a minute. Despite being a global style guru thanks to my blog, I really don’t worry too much about my personal wardrobe.

I blog from home, so I don’t have office dress codes, and I make most of my own clothing from big empty dog food bags. The dry kind, not so much the meaty wet stuff…

Is it me, or does it look better on HER?

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What’s wrong, Boss? Why are you crying?

pinky lee 160Lonnie, our clothing label is ruined. This is the end…. It’s all my fault. I sank everything into buying millions of yards of plaid automobile seat cover fabric for the 1960 Chevy Impala.

Boss, don’t torture yourself. That was 50 years ago!

No, actually it was last week. I thought the ’60 Impala would make a comeback, and now we’re stuck with this crap.

Our Father who…clomp clomp…art in heaven…clomp…

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pauls shoes combo 490

Blog Guy, I know a lot of big fashion shows are coming up, and you need to pay more attention to shoes! What about London Fashion week, which is going on right now?

BRITAIN/You’re right, I’ve neglected shoes, but I’ll change. Here are some radical, cutting edge shoes for women bold enough to wear them. Why, in my opinion… What? Uh-oh!

Go buy me a gunny, honey!

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Okay Lamar, it’s your chance to shine. I put you in charge of our new spring line of purses, so what have you got? We want very classy, very upscale!

FASHION-NEWYORK/We want to go toe-to-toe with the legendary $9,000 Birkin Bag! Maybe give that fancy Kate Spade a run for her money, too. So show me the goods, Lamar!

Moody? It’s just a fez she’s going through!

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BRITAIN-FASHION/

Lamar, I’ve been looking at our creations for the fashion show, and I know what’s missing.

What’s that, Boss?

fashion fez vertical white 200Hats. I think each model should wear a colored hat. Maybe like a fez.

Fez? The candy you carry in that little dispenser?

No, you dimwit, that’s Pez! I said a fez, like they wear in the Middle East. Everybody is talking about that area these days, Lamar…

Male models? Models of WHAT?

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Blog Guy, my friends and I are guys who sincerely want the same thing most young men want.

Girls?

NEWYORK-FASHON/Exactly. But we have a problem. We’re not exactly George Clooney in the looks department, if you take my meaning.

Eat, Pray, Read?

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FASHION/

Blog Guy, you’re smiling today. You must have seen something amusing, huh?

USA/I sure did. You know how sometimes I imply that fashion models aren’t, you know, geniuses? Like maybe they don’t have to think a lot to do that job?