Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Out of the frying pan and into the fryer…

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Blog Guy, I can’t wait any longer! Has the Williams-Sonoma December catalog arrived yet? I need to get ready for the big holidays!

Yes, and naturally I was drawn to page 120, the Breville Deep Fryer, $149.95. That’s what I want for holiday entertaining, right? I mean, what says, I care about my family’s health better than immersing their food in oil? Especially with those recent studies showing we all need to raise our cholesterol levels.

Um, Blog Guy, you are just being sarcastic here, right? Sometimes I can’t tell.

Yes, of course. Try to keep up.

But if I DO want a deep fryer, this is the one to get, right?

No, I’m afraid this is the one for sissies. The one you want is on the Williams-Sonoma Website, the Timber Ridge Backyard Host Deep Fryer, just $699.95.

A goofy Thanksgiving to all!

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Happy Thanksgiving, Blog Guy!

Thanks, and the same to you and to all my readers.

So what are you thankful for This Thanksgiving?

Me? I’m feeling very blessed to be surrounded by my dear family and great friends.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course you have to say that, but specifically, what are you thankful for right now, this minute?

Want something that’s bad for you, Mr. President?

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Hi there, waitress, we’re the Corkery family, and we’ll be having your family-style breakfast special, where the whole family eats for for $22.95. I’ll have the…

Excuse me, Mr. Obama, I know who you are. You’re gonna have to go ahead and pay for your own breakfast…

After Total Recall, time for a fling?

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Blog Guy, recently you did an item about a lot of consumer products recalled in a short period.  Were you trying to scare us?

No! Whatever made you think that?

The headline on it was, Attention! Everything has been recalled!

Oh, right. You mean the post about recent recalls of cantaloupe, lettuce, candy, ice cream, pine nuts, prawns, soy burgers, kale chips, spinach, eggs, tuna, cars, motorcycles, gas range tops, recliner chairs…

Buy, buy Miss American Pie…

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Blog Guy, do you have a personal guiding philosophy of life? You know, three or four words that express your world view?

It’s funny you should ask. I didn’t until today, but now I do, thanks to the cover of a catalog that came in the mail.

Are these the missing links?

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Blog Guy, I want to order one of those elaborate fantasy photos you set up for your readers. You know, the really strange stuff, like that hotel suite with chocolate furniture, and like Sylvester Stallone’s bathroom, and…

What did you have in mind?

Brace yourself. Mine involves a gigantic electromagnet, Justin Bieber, Mount Rushmore, the…

When superstars shoot on location…

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I can’t believe they have the nerve to call this dump a supermarket!

But Ms. Jolie, this isn’t America. Things are different over here.

Really? Things are SO different that I can’t even buy Budweiser or Velveeta for Brad? What the hell are we supposed to live on?

Well, maybe you and Mr. Pitt could try some other kind of processed cheese product while you’re working here, Ms. Jolie….

Attention! Everything has been recalled!

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Blog Guy, I guess you’ve been reading about the huge recall of cantaloupes because of that deadly listeria outbreak?

Yes, but recalls in general are coming too fast to count. In the past month, we’ve had stories about recalls of lettuce, candy, ice cream, pine nuts, brewers yeast tablets, prawns, soy burgers, kale chips, spinach, organic eggs, frozen tuna

It’s a black day for candy lovers…

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Okay, take that black stuff out of your mouth, put it on the floor, and back away.

That’s just me helping the government warn folks about the danger of eating too much licorice.

Lose weight the Christmas Party way!

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It’s time for more of our etiquette tips aimed at people who were raised by warthogs in the wild.

Our latest advice is on diet etiquette for the holidays. You know, getting through parties and dinners while keeping both your diet and your friendships intact.