Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

You gonna eat that Whopper, Judas?

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supper top 490

I just love this story. These guys analyzed 52 paintings of “The Last Supper,” done over a period of 1,000 years, and they found the size of the main meal depicted has grown progressively by 69 percent.

supper vertical combo 260They say this suggests that the phenomenon of serving bigger portions on bigger plates has also occurred gradually over the same time period.

Their study found that plate sizes in the paintings grew 66 percent.

By contrast, the size of bread grew by only 23 percent. That may be the result of the first low-carb diet, published in 1611 and sold along with the King James version of The Bible.

Of course, this is only the beginning. At the present rate of super-sizing portions in our society, within five years somebody will paint “The Last Supper” as an all-you-can-eat buffet, showing several of the apostles leaving with overflowing doggy bags.

Bye, bye Miss Canadian pie…

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Blog Guy, I read that the Canadians are thinking of changing their national anthem, to make it gender-neutral. That sounds extreme. How sexist could their anthem be, anyway?

bumbleberry pie 280You be the judge. Here are the lyrics:

O Canada!
Our home and native land!
Girls in the kitchen, to give their moms a hand,
With glowing hearts we see thee rise,
Thee bake thine bumbleberry pies,
From far and wide, O Canada,
We cook and clean for thee

Some frickin’ chicken, Mr. President?

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obama chicken combo 490

Blog Guy, can you please settle a bet I have with my boyfriend? Has President Obama ever seen a whole lot of fried chicken before?

You know, I would have said yes, because he does get around, but judging from his expression here I’m now thinking maybe this was his first time.

Our cakes are CRAP-TASTIC!

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Welcome to what may be the all-time best installment of our popular feature, “Stuff Maybe we Should Have Explained in the Caption, but Didn’t.”

The actual photo caption here tells us this woman is making “cow dung cakes.” That’s pretty much it. Lacking any more information, I must fill in the blanks from my own twisted imagination.

Five people I don’t want to meet…

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Readers often say to me, “Bob, in your line of work you must meet lots of interesting people,” and I say to them, “No, not really.”

In fact, I┬átend to keep an up-to-date list of folks I DON’T want to meet, under any circumstances. It changes often, but right now these are the LAST five people on earth I want to see.

That’s gonna hurt coming off…

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COSTARICA-ELECTION/

What a frickin’ crap-fest of a day day this is!

green beans face 220Here I am, sittin’ outside under the bananas, peeling green beans! I hope my friends don’t see me. Could it get any worse?

Say, who are those goofballs coming up the street?

Hah, looks like they’re supporters of some presidential candidate, and they’re puttin’ bumper stickers on everybody’s car.

Any unhappy workers, raise your hands!

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CHINA/

Staff, I like to think of you as my friends, not just the little pissant scumbags I boss around…

noodles crop 200I know you’re all wondering…slurp… about this team-building exercise…slurp…

I’m ready Lamar, go have that pork chop now!

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Warning, this is an adults-only scene. It’s evening in the boudoir, a woman is wearing a black satin nightie and red stiletto heels, there’s chilled champagne beside the bed…

“Are you as turned-on as I am, Lamar?” pork viagra combo 490

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“I sure am, Sweetheart!”

“Then go eat that ham sandwich and have your porky-porky way with me!”

Fatty pork and rotten eggs for lunch?

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Blog Guy, I know first lady Michelle Obama cares about a lot of good causes. Which do you think is most important to her?

OBAMA/I think childhood nutrition, though I don’t necessarily agree with her on that. She just released her new school lunch menu, and it included fatty pork products and apparently rotten eggs. Can you imagine?

Crack me another walnut, honey pie!

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Blog Guy, I have a fashion problem. Lots of times on a date a guy will offer me a walnut, but I never know how I’m supposed to crack it.

dumb shoes 260You came to the right place. Check out these designer shoes, made to meet all of a chick’s nutcracking needs. One good stomp, and you’ll be scarfing down tasty walnut bits for hours.