Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

The worst thing about protest? Take your pick!

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Okay young man, thanks for volunteering, but do you think you have what it takes to be a pro-democracy protester here in Hong Kong?

You BET I do. I have fire in my heart!

That’s the spirit. Because sometimes you may get tear-gassed by police, or maybe even punched and kicked.

I can take it for the cause!

You may even have to go to jail.

Just give me the chance! They shall not break my spirit!

Oh, and occasionally you’ll need to put your finger up some other dude’s nose.

Excuse me, I guess I’m in the wrong place. I’m just here to pick up an order of General Tso’s chicken, with extra soy sauce…

Enjoy a nice spider, open up wider!

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Eency Weency spider, climbs up my favorite cup
Along comes this dude who eats the spider up,
Juicy, juicy spider, it meets an awful death,
And off goes the weirdo, Mr. Spider Breath!

Blog Guy, it’s a dreary day. Give us a story from some far-flung place, to enrich our appreciation of other cultures.

I say, Camilla, do we have a COUPON?

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Ever since my readers voted Prince Charles the “Coolest Leader Dude,” it seems to me he’s doing more “normal” stuff in public.

Like yesterday Charles the Prince of Wales and his typical average wife, Camilla the Duchess of Cornwall, visited a grocery.

What’s up with the pink socks, Hoss?

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Blog Guy, I saw a Reuters photo from Spain showing four guys together in silly outfits. What’s the story?

I think it’s a shot from a Spanish remake of “Bonanza.” From left, that’s Hoss, Ben, Adam and…

Ew! No more oatmeal for me, Ma!

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I apologize in advance for this one, since I know a lot of readers, even entire families, enjoy my blog while at the breakfast table.

Still, my logic is this: Nobody shields ME from this crap, so you all may as well see what’s going on in the real world, the same as I have to.

My armadillo needs a pillow…

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Blog Guy, I have a recipe for armadillo. Do you know a place to buy good ones?

Sure, I go down to Brazil and get mine from Leonardo’s Armadillos.

Leonardo? Didn’t he used to have a shop in Amarillo?

Yes, but Leonardo’s Amarillo Armadillos got closed down for certain peccadillos.

Say no more, I’ve heard all about those armadillo peccadillos! How does Leonardo sell his armadillos?

Exploding wieners, run for cover!

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Blog Guy, I’m afraid this suicide bomb trend is spreading, and it scares me.

Me too. There are way too many kinds of explosive gadgets. I saw this photo of a woman wearing a device made of an alarm clock and sausages.

You don’t haggle at Kroger?

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Quick quiz: In this photo on the right, President Obama is saying to the Kroger manager…

    “Five bucks for clementines? I pay $3.99 at the Safeway near the White House! “What the frick is a clementine?” “Do you sell these things in heavy syrup in a can? “I’m thinkin’ of gettin’ these for my death panels. You know how many pounds it takes to kill a really old person?”

Actually, the most interesting thing that happened at that Kroger visit was when Obama took a piece of fruit and ate it in front of everybody. The White House said he paid for it “seconds later.”

The wurst way to turn your kids into vegans…

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Blog Guy, our family is going to Berlin for a vacation. Are there any museums we don’t want to miss?

For sure! Take your kids to check out the new condom museum, with the singing, dancing penis. It seems that a family planning group has…

And, the ice is free here!

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Okay, members of the Iceland Citizens Group, thanks for coming on such short notice. You all know the problem.

Ingibjorg Egilsdottir, Miss Iceland, is frolicking in the Bahamas before the Miss Universe Pageant, and – I’ll be very blunt – when it’s over, why in God’s name would she leave there and return to a place called Iceland?