Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Another bowl of blood, Lonnie!

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Blog Guy, you write a lot about travel. My wife and I need a vacation, but we’re trying hard to lose weight. Vacations always mean wonderful meals, and we come home 10 pounds heavier. How can we break that cycle?

Do what I do. Plan a vacation to Vietnam.

Oh hot-diggity. How does that help?

For dinner in Hanoi, head out to a bistro I know specializing in entrails and blood soup.

Ewww! Puke-o-Rama! What’s it called?

Lonnie’s House of Blood Soup and Cocktail Lounge. Tell Lonnie I sent you.

You’re crazy! I’d sooner stay home and eat my wife’s cooking!

Don’t forget to save room for Lonnie’s dessert. If you bring your own Bowie knife, you can help him kill it.

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A raw blood dish is displayed with cooked entrails at a restaurant in Hanoi, April 28, 2009. Frozen pudding from fresh duck or pig blood is a popular dish in Vietnam, although duck blood is less consumed following bird flu outbreaks. A bowl of raw blood costs about 55 cents. REUTERS/Kham

Nice buns, Burger Boy!

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Blog Guy, I’m a 16-year-old boy and I’m very sensitive about my looks.

The kids at school say I look like a hamburger! They taunt me, calling me ”Burger Boy” and ”Big Mac.” What can I do?

Stay out, hon, I’m eatin’ scampi!

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Blog Guy, I need help. I’m a smoker, and…

Say no more, I’ll try to help you quit.

No! I don’t want to quit, I just don’t want my wife to catch me! How can I cover the smell?

Here is the very latest cover-up technology. You line a spare room with 4,600 pounds of garlic, then heat it to 120 degrees, permeating every inch with the aroma. You could light up a cow pie and nobody would notice.

Another dozen jelly doughnuts, Mr. President?

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Bolivian President Evo Morales got a controversial electoral law passed by his congress today after using a fairly unorthodox tactic.

Morales, shown here in photos during more caloric times, went on a hunger strike for nearly five days until he got what he wanted.

She’s not driving home, is she?

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Blog Guy, you’ve REALLY been around. You must have seen EVERYTHING!

Almost. The only thing I haven’t seen is a woman rubbing 24 chilies in her eyes. I’m still looking for a chance to… Wait! Here’s video of that very thing!

Awesome! But why would somebody do that?

I guess she drew the line at 25 chilies because, well, doing THAT would seem abnormal.

A slice of Baracklava and a warm hat, please!

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Blog Guy, what did you think of President Obama’s tour of Europe? I was very moved when I saw that somebody in Turkey had done his image on a baklava.

You mean one of those Russian stringed instruments?

Sigh. No, that’s a BALALAIKA. Here’s a picture of Vladimir Putin playing one. The Obama portrait I’m talking about was done on a BAKLAVA.

Honey, will you marry… Ewwwww!

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So now they’re selling a diamond and gold-leaf “carat cake” as a $2,500 gift for guys to give when they propose marriage. I see disaster ahead.

“Honey, we’ve been dating for two years, and I have something to ask you…

Hey, look at that cute breadhead!

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Blog Guy, I heard the newest fashion fad is wearing bread on your head. Is that true?

Absolutely! At Milan Fashion Week, “head bread” was the toast of the show.

When life hands you urine, make Urinade!

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A few days ago I blogged about plans to create a soft drink made from cow urine. Seriously. We even discussed ad and marketing uh, challenges to what we dubbed ”Mellow Yellow.”

This was a popular post, I gather because readers want to make damned sure they don’t go out and buy some by accident. So we’ve talked to folks associated with the project and done a video report.

Why does that waitress have bodyguards?

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Blog Guy, I was wondering what first lady Michelle Obama does to kill time during the day, while her girls are in school.

I suspect the Obamas were shocked to learn how much they owe on the White House mortgage. It looks like Michelle is working in a local restaurant to earn a few bucks.