Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Pudding up the decorations

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Blog Guy, I have 35 seconds to spare. Show me something really peculiar to put me in the holiday mood.

I have just the thing for you. Check out 35 seconds of video of this couple that decorated their hedge to look like a Christmas pudding.

That’s just ridiculous! What’s that topping made of?

Maybe rubber. Yes, it looks like it could be rubbery shrubbery.

Stop it! I bet this cost a lot. Where would they get the money for a thing like that?

A hedge fund, I believe.

A hedge fund. I get it. I don’t know why I ever come here!

Probably because you feel so good when you get to leave…

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Mabel, Mabel, strong and able, get your big feet off the table!

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Blog Guy, I went to a fancy banquet in China, and I could swear I saw human footprints on the tablecloth. Was that just my imagination?

No.  I’m pretty sure that’s how they set the dinner tables over there, with a guy walking around on top.

There’s eggnog in your hair, Claire!

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Blog Guy, my mom gave me a huge crystal punch bowl. It’s lovely, but I don’t entertain very much. Should I just sell it?

No! Wear it! Punch bowl hats are going to be THE thing next season, as you can see in these fashion photos taken just yesterday.

What do you want for Barackfest?

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Blog Guy, where does President-elect Obama eat when he’s in Chicago?

He loves a cafe called, coincidentally, Obama Eats Here. What are the chances?

Wait a minute, you dimwit. I think that place is named something else, and they just wear those shirts because they’re proud he’s a customer.

Oh, I think you’re wrong. I think it’s one of those chains, just like that chain of inns in the Northeast called George Washington Slept Here. They’re very popular.

Who’s that screaming at Window Two?

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Blog Guy, I’m just a regular dude selling strawberry shortcake down here in Florida. I have a recurring nightmare that one day a presidential candidate will just stick his big grinning face right through my window.

That would push me over the edge, for sure. What are the actual chances of this kind of a strawberry shortcake window political intrusion?

Waiter, a comb for my noodles!

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People, we need to brainstorm an advertising slogan for Acme Noodles, our newest client. We’re using photos of dogs lounging outside on big sheets of noodles being dried for sale to restaurants because, well, what goes together like noodles and dogs!

Here are the possible slogans we have so far:

Hey Shep, fetch me some more Acme!

Acme Noodles: trust us, you don’t want to know!

Acme: Not as disgusting as you’d think!

Acme: Our noodles aren’t yellow for nothing!

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Dogs recline on sheets of rice noodle being dried near a railway track in Phu Dien village outside Hanoi October 22, 2008. The village produces rice noodles, a staple breakfast meal, that are sold to restaurants in Hanoi. REUTERS/Kham

A friend in knead gets a rise out of Bush?

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French President Nicolas Sarkozy appeared with President George Bush yesterday and surprised onlookers by choosing to discuss tips for making really good French bread, which of course in France they just call bread.

Sarkozy used elaborate hand gestures to show how to knead the dough, and patiently answered questions from Bush such as, “When do you put in the ketchup?” and “Do you guys add the crust after you bake it?”

Sorry, our sandwich is toast!

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This is just so stupid on so many levels.

sandwich-3-160.jpgThese cooks in Iran decide to get in the Guinness Book of Records by making the “world’s longest sandwich,” see. Nearly a mile long, with three Guinness representatives there.

Now, if you look at the photos, it’s NOT one continuous sandwich, it looks like a whole bunch of separate sandwiches. So it’s like putting a hundred men head-to-toe on the ground and claiming to have the world’s tallest man.

Testicle recipes: cooking with nuts?

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I just don’t know exactly when I turned into some kind of carnival sideshow barker.

testicles-240.jpgMy blog’s e-mail this week has included a photo of a two-headed dog, an offer of exclusive photos of a woman with 60-pound breasts, and a press release on a book where some chef shows how to cook up animal testicles for dinner.

Rat meat again? We’re not MADE of money!

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Blog Guy, I can’t believe what’s happening to the price of all the necessities! Is there ANY good economic news out there?

rat-taiwan-160.jpgSure. It turns out the price of rat meat has sky-rocketed in the past year.

I don’t see how that’s good news.

Well, the price of premium rat meat is up, but you don’t want to buy any, so you’re immune to that increase. We economists call that “good” news. It’s having an impact over there in Asia. Did you know Cambodia supplies a ton of live rats a day to Vietnam?