Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Beauty tips from Hannibal Lecter

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Readers come to this blog for the very latest in diet and beauty news, and it’s time again for Diet and Beauty Fair 2008, in Tokyo.

diet-and-beauty-blue-220.jpgThis year, the trend is very much to treat humans like food. For instance, there is this blue room, the “Salt Studio,” which uses salt tiles, high temperatures and humidity.

Yes, that does indeed sound pretty much like the process for curing country hams and slab bacon. For smooth skin that resembles a big old pork chop, you can’t beat it.

Then there is this white capsule gizmo which supposedly offers LED light, aroma, vibrating mattress, high density oxygen and healing music. Fair enough, but if you look closely it resembles a human panini grill. I believe your main decision every day is what kind of cheese you want melted into your flesh.

Hi! I’m running for the Pepsi Challenge!

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obama-pepsi-1-200.jpgOkay folks, this new Pepsi ad campaign is gonna make history! I see a kind of slice-of-life commercial, where some big-name spokesman goes into a diner and talks to people about thirst-quenching goodness.

He says, you know, something like, “Is it hot enough for you folks? On a day like this, nothing beats the refreshing taste of an ice-cold Pepsi!

You gonna eat that pickle, pal?

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kim-crop-food.jpgBlog Guy, I was fascinated by your item on that Axis of Evil guy from North Korea. He seems like a regular fellow. Do you have any more information from his visit to a military site? Like, where was it?

That’s a secret. But I can tell you I think he ate in the mess hall with the troops, cafeteria-style.

Add a cup of cyanide, a pinch of arsenic, and voila!

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henbane-1-160.jpgSo there’s this celebrity chef, see, and he said in a magazine article that a plant called henbane makes an excellent addition to summertime meals.

It’s a great cooking tip, so long as you don’t mind hallucinations, convulsions, vomiting and occasionally death. The chef, Antony Worrall Thompson, apologized, explaining that he had confused henbane with another weed, called fat hen.

Hamming it up at theater in the round?

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meat-2-200-0720.jpgFor the second time in a week, I’m presenting Things Maybe We Should Have Explained in a Caption, but Didn’t.

I have no choice, what with finding photos of a stage drama in which the caption tells us an actor is “dressed in meat.” Say what?

I scream, you scream, we all….

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ice-cream-militia-crop-140.jpgOkay folks, you’ve been trained for your summer ice cream routes, and today you get your assignments. Herb goes to Pleasantville, Ohio. Joyce gets Maple Grove, Oregon. Earl, you’ go to Najaf, Iraq….

Huh? Oh, didn’t I mention we have routes over there? It gets pretty hot, and after a busy day they like their ice cream just as as much as anybody.

More pudding for the President!

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bush-0715-crop.jpgBlog Guy, I notice you seem to settle a lot of bets, and I hope you can help me. A bunch of us were debating how long President Bush could hold a half-cup of warm tapioca pudding in his mouth before he’d have to spit it out. Can you find out?

Not so fast, hotshot. Do you mean the first President Bush, or the second one?

Oh. Right. The second. The one who’s there now.

Ah. Okay. Well, so far it’s been six hours and twelve minutes, and he’s still going strong. I’ll let you know when there’s a final result.

Hand grenades and lemonades…

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Updated with video report

Here we are in Beirut, a city that has endured far more than its fair share of war and bloodshed, and we’re going to open a fast-food restaurant. What would be a good theme for it?

I know, how about war! We’ll draw on the natural connection between killing and eating! We can call it Buns and Guns, and we’ll put the tables behind sandbags. We’ll have war relics all over, and the chef can dress in camouflage! Our motto: A sandwich can kill you…

Weird? Only if you’re a weenie!

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sourtoe-300.jpgWe have a story on a travel Website’s ”Top 10 weird activities” for travelers seeking the outlandish.

Oh please, what bogus bushwah! Shrove Tuesday pancake races? Birthday party with Eeyore? In our sleep this blog has written about weirder places, most recently the new Enema Monument.

In the mood for Italic tonight, Babe?

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menu-fonts-360.jpgA new study found if you read something in a complicated font, you expect it to BE complicated, and to have to pay more for it.

A  menu  printed in simple Arial type face, like the bread pudding here, won’t impress you as much as one in the fancy Mistral font, like the beignets.