Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Remake more splish than splash?

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splash-160.jpgAfter recently breaking huge stories about remakes of “The Birds” and “The Great Escape,” this blog has more Hollywood news. It turns out they’ve done a cheap remake of the 1984 Tom Hanks and Daryl Hannah mermaid hit, “Splash.”

There are worrisome questions about whether the costume designer was wise to cover the female star from chin to floor. As the publicity photo below shows, she looks more like one of those big sea lions than Hannah’s sexy, playful mermaid.

Frankly, in the scene I watched, it took the new mermaid a painful 24 minutes to belly-flop her way from low tide to the beach. By then, Tom Hanks had called in a tip to the Gorton’s Fisherman Hotline (“Earn cash for finding fish“) and gone off for drinks with Meg Ryan. We all know how that will end up.

More movie news: Sound of Music sequel: Nun With A Gun!

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(Above: movie poster)

Model shows a creation by Russian designer Natasha Glazkova during Moscow Fashion Week March 24, 2008. REUTERS/Alexander Natruskin

It’s like surf ‘n’ turf in a bag!

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Welcome back to Great Challenges in Advertising. A woman in South Korea says she found a rat head in some shrimp cracker snacks, and we’re wondering how they could reposition that product in the marketplace. Your suggestions so far:

    Rat head shrimp crackers, the snack that can’t go bad! They’re skull-crunchingly yummy! Rat head: when you just don’t feel like a whole rat Rat head, like the shrimp flavor isn’t bad enough… Rat head crackers – they’re plague-o-licious!

Related post: What happens in Rat Island stays in…

Help me, I’m in a grape jam!

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grape-2-crop-160.jpgMaybe you saw, this guy sued a store for $600,000. He says a squashed grape got lodged under the sole of his shoe, making him slip and fall. I’ve been trying to duplicate this, like folks who shoot at cantaloupes trying to make a point about the JFK assassination.

I bought six pounds of grapes and I’ve stepped on them in every room of my home. Rugs, wood floors, kitchen tiles, the stairs. No luck. Coating them in Crisco did nothing. I took running leaps onto them, I blindfolded myself, I crazy-glued them to my flip-flops. I even put some under a banana peel, but I’m still standing.

How the Pillsbury Doughboy got started

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flour-160.jpgEaster is approaching and, for some people in Greece, that brings to mind those two important words: food fight. Every year, the folks in this town spend the day bombarding one another with colored flour until they’re encrusted with it.

Me, I don’t understand these annual events where people slip and slide in tomatoes, oranges, grapes and so on, but that’s a personal hang-up. Given the choice of being sticky or being dead, I’ll go for dead every time.

Hold the herb, Herb!

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coriander-300.jpg“…egg and spam; egg bacon and spam; egg bacon sausage and spam; spam bacon sausage and spam; spam egg spam spam…”

Life imitates Monty Python at this Japanese restaurant where every dish on the menu contains the herb coriander. It’s worth a trip just to jerk their chain.

Gastronomy? Sure, you got a telescope?

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champagne-120.jpgFrance, where they eat snails and frog legs, wants to be the first country to put its cuisine on the United Nations’ World Heritage List. But Italy, where they eat pasta and pizza, says good luck with that, snail-chewers.

It seems Italy claims 166 officially recognized food specialties, against only 156 for France, including some stuff you wouldn’t put in your mouth.

Let them eat cake, if they can find it

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Maryland, which already has jousting as its official sport, is considering adopting something called the Smith Island Cake as its official dessert. Seriously, you can read about it.

pie-300.jpgOfficial desserts aren’t unusual. Florida has key lime pie, seen in the photo. Great choice! Utah has lime Jell-O. I don’t even want to go there. The less I know, the better.

Eat a little BLT, find out what it means to me!

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Some pig farmers have a problem. In what they call a last-ditch attempt to save Britain’s pork industry, they are releasing a song on the Internet, called “Stand by your Ham.” See, it’s a reworking of “Stand by your Man,” with a porcine theme.

I’m not sure their choice is quite catchy enough to get the job done. Why didn’t they go for one of the better-known songs from the pork genre? Johnny Cash’s iconic “I Walk the Loin,” Sonny and Cher’s 60′s anthem “I Got You Babe,” the sentimental barbershop quartet standard “Pig ‘o My Heart,” or that favorite from the musical “South Pacific,” “Dites-Moi, Pork-Qua,” just to name a few.

Your mouth is oily, I like that in a man!

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wingette-2-180.jpgBlog Guy, we all appreciate the wise career advice you give in your blog. Recently you reported on the worst job for a guy. Are there also bottom-of-the-barrel jobs for women, so I can avoid them?

Yes. Every year there is this huge chicken wing-eating competition, and I always notice the “Wingettes” – women who wear sexy outfits and are supposed to appear interested in whether the contestants are choking to death.

Please sir, may I have a smaller plate?

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model-plate-180.jpgWe keep hearing that fashion models are too thin, but what exactly do they eat to fortify themselves for a demanding day of strutting and pouting?

Well, we photographed a meal backstage at a fashion show, and it’s illuminating. Models eat off an itty-bitty saucer that wouldn’t even hold a single pork chop or chili dog, heaped full of three tiny morsels that probably have curd or tofu in their name.