Quick quiz: If you have a meal in The Gulf region and can’t quite place the distinctive, piquant, exotic flavor, it’s most likely…

a) Amba, a savory mango pickle condiment

b) Cardamom seeds mixed with cumin

c) Mahlab, made from the St.Lucie Cherry

d) About 30 pounds of desert sand embedded at high speed during the cooking process

That’s right, it’s d), so don’t try to chew every little bit of it.

Check out the masked dude below, just going along roasting his chickens in the middle of a sandstorm.

Meanwhile, for those of you worried about nutrition, just consider this dish enough roughage to prepare for four colonoscopies in a row.

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A worker roasts chickens at a roadside restaurant during a sandstorm in Baghdad July 29, 2009. REUTERS/Saad Shalash

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What’s wrong, Blog Guy? I don’t understand!

Huh? You don’t understand what?

I’ve been seeing pictures of former governor Sarah Palin yesterday serving hot dogs as she left the governor’s job.  Isn’t that a natural for you? Why aren’t you all over it?

Oh, that. It’s just too obvious. Too easy. What would I even say?

Come on, straighten up, Mister! You’d say like, Sarah Palin’s wurst job? Or look at the buns on that governor? Or losers and wieners? Or I know, Sarah the Redhot Mama?

Those are awful. I wouldn’t stoop that low, to be frank.

Frank? I get it! I knew I’d see a smile on that face. Now slap a goofy headline on this sucker, and you’re done for the day. It’s like putting lipstick on a pig!

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Alaska Governor Sarah Palin serves hot dogs to well-wishers at the annual Governor’s Picnic in Fairbanks, Alaska, July 26, 2009. Former Republican U.S. Vice-presidential candidate Palin stepped down as Alaska governor on Sunday. REUTERS/ Nathaniel Wilder

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Blog Guy, you seem to know quite a lot about how the military works in various countries, so I have a question.

I’ll do my best.

I was wondering how the paramilitary police carry watermelons in China.

I get that question a lot, and I believe this photo illustrates the technique they use.

Awesome, thanks! Uh, Blog Guy, what’s that other picture doing there?

Oh, I have a new widget on my blogging tool that automatically sorts similar photos and puts them together, to save me the trouble.

But…

Yeah, I guess it still has some bugs in it.

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A model presents a creation by designer Paraiso for Colombia’s brand Armonia in Cali, July 9, 2009. REUTERS /Jaime Saldarriaga

A Chinese paramilitary policeman carries melons as he walks past two fellow police officers in riot gear in Urumqi, July 13, 2009. REUTERS /David Gray

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Blog Guy, you do a wonderful job of keeping us up on what the elite are doing. Where is the Smart Set this week, so we can once again envy the lush life?

There’s only one place to find the Beautiful People this week, awash in a sea of red scarves at the San Fermin festival in Spain!

It’s time to run with the bulls, but it’s also a time for chic parties. As you can see here, the Beautiful People are out in force, enjoying fine local food and wine.

You know, I notice that the Beautiful People seem to be doing a lot of retching and puking.

What did you expect? You asked about the lush life, and I gave you lushes.

All of your captions always refer to these people as “revelers.” What does that mean?

I believe the definition of reveler is “somebody you’d never give your real phone number to.”

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Above: Assorted revelers: REUTERS photos

Left: A drunk reveler kneels on the ground as he tries to enter a building before the first day of the running of the bulls during the San Fermin festival in Pamplona, July 7, 2009. REUTERS /Susana Vera

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Happy July 4th, Blog Guy. I just saw an Abe Lincoln statue made of cheese. Isn’t that disrespectful?

No. If you know your history, you know Lincoln was a passionate cheese enthusiast.

It was Abe who pushed the bounds of home entertaining by rolling up cheese and pecans together, creating the popular cheese log.

HE did that?

Sure. He called them Lincoln Logs.  He also pioneered new forms of smelly Limburger Cheese, making his own pungent recipe.

Uh-oh. What was that called?

What do you think? “Stinkin’ Lincoln.”

Apart from the “Gettysburg Address,” Lincoln’s most famous speech was his 1863 “Homage to Fromage.” And, his 1864 presidential campaign slogan was ”He’s not just gouda, he’s grate!”

You’re right, I do recall something about that. What was that phrase he used to predict the mass popularity of cheese?

He called it a “feta compli.”

Gosh Blog Guy, you seem to know quite a few cheese-related puns.

Well, I don’t like to boast, but they do call me the “Münster Punster.”

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Cheez-It commissioned 700-pound life-size cheddar cheese carving of Abraham Lincoln, on display near the Lincoln Memorial in Washington, July 3, 2009. REUTERS/Ray Stubblebine/Cheez-It/Handout

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Blog Guy, I read that Australia’s troops in Afghanistan are unhappy with their food. Apparently they don’t like the stuff that the Dutch-run mess hall is serving. Could Dutch food really be that bad?

No. The Dutch eat lots of great cheeses, and all kinds of chocolate and stuff.

That sounds yummy. Have you been to Australia? What do they eat there?

Yes, I have. They eat Vegemite, this dark brown food paste that they spread on everything.

Ewwww. What else do they eat there?

Things called witchetty-grubs, which are worms.

Hmmm. So it’s worms and icky veggie spread vs. Gouda cheese and Droste Cocoa? What are the Australians doing about it?

Our story says they’re rushing in a special team of Australian cooks. And, I would guess, planeloads of worms.

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Britain’s Prince Charles pretends to eat a witchetty-grub during a bush foods demonstration at the Desert Park in Alice Springs, Australia. REUTERS/David Gray

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You’ve GOT to help me, Blog Guy! Big News is breaking too fast. North Korean nukes, a new Supreme Court Justice, the economy….

Can you please direct me to the LEAST significant thing on earth? I need to totally zone out for about 45 seconds with the most inconsequential thing you can find.

We don’t carry insignificant news on reuters.com. We’re the big guys.

Don’t kid a kidder, Blog Guy. I know you’ve got something lightweight hidden away. Hurry, my head is about to explode from important stuff!

Well, don’t tell anybody where you got this. Three words for you: Latvian cheese festival. We have 45 seconds of video.

With all due respect, how do I know this isn’t a trap to get me to learn serious stuff about Latvian cheese?

Because there’s no narration. Trust me, you won’t have a clue what you’re seeing.

I’m clicking now, but I still find it hard to believe anybody would really show that.

Oh, we’ve got it, but if you watch it and never awaken again, don’t send your family blubbering to me.

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Blog Guy, I went to dinner last night with friends here in Colombia. The  restaurant must have been in a skyscraper, because when we looked down, everything looked like ants!

You were looking at the dishes on your table, and they WERE ants. This is the season when they eat huge ants in various ways in Colombia.

No way!

Way.

Gulp. I guess that’s why the menu only offered two choices - the Red Special and the Black Special?

That’s right. It also explains why you didn’t take food with you on your picnic, just some “Ant Jemima” syrup. And have you gone to a movie while you were there?

Uh, yeah. Why?

When you opened your Raisinets, did they come out of the box a lot easier than usual?

Yes. I think I’m going to be sick now.

Then my work here is finished.

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Above: A man eats roasted “Culonas” ants in Socorro May 20, 2009. Every year during the April-June season, Colombian farmers and inhabitants of Santander province collect ants as part of a traditional ritual in the region. The ants are cooked and sold as exotic, specialized food.

Above: A typical dish in ant sauce is seen in the restaurant Color de Hormiga in Barichara, May 19, 2009.

Left: Farmer tosses a big pot of ants while cooking them in Socorro, May 20, 2009.

REUTERS photos by Jose Miguel Gomez

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Quick quiz: Thousands of live rats in Cambodia, shown in crates below, are being shipped to Vietnam to…

a) enjoy a getaway at one of the world’s top rat vacation destinations.

b) be used as Happy Rat Day gifts.

c) take part in a rat exchange which could lead to a foreign exchange program involving real students.

d) be eaten up by people.

Is that your final answer? Yes, I’m afraid they are heading off to be eaten.

Still, if that surprises you then I guess you missed my blog a couple of weeks ago headlined Another bowl of blood, Lonnie! Shame on you!

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Above: A boy shows off a rat he caught at Kandal province, Cambodia, May 15, 2009.

Left: Live rats are stored in Kandal province, awaiting transport to Vietnam.

REUTERS photos by Chor Sokunthea

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Blog Guy, you write a lot about travel. My wife and I need a vacation, but we’re trying hard to lose weight. Vacations always mean wonderful meals, and we come home 10 pounds heavier. How can we break that cycle?

Do what I do. Plan a vacation to Vietnam.

Oh hot-diggity. How does that help?

For dinner in Hanoi, head out to a bistro I know specializing in entrails and blood soup.

Ewww! Puke-o-Rama! What’s it called?

Lonnie’s House of Blood Soup and Cocktail Lounge. Tell Lonnie I sent you.

You’re crazy! I’d sooner stay home and eat my wife’s cooking!

Don’t forget to save room for Lonnie’s dessert. If you bring your own Bowie knife, you can help him kill it.

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A raw blood dish is displayed with cooked entrails at a restaurant in Hanoi, April 28, 2009. Frozen pudding from fresh duck or pig blood is a popular dish in Vietnam, although duck blood is less consumed following bird flu outbreaks. A bowl of raw blood costs about 55 cents. REUTERS/Kham

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