Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Cooking with Catherine: The Barefoot Duchess?

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Blog Guy, thanks for finally giving us some coverage of William and Catherine’s royal tour of Canada. We want more!

Well, Catherine did a cooking workshop at the Institut de tourisme et d’hotellerie du Quebec, in Montreal.

Whoa! Please translate that into English! The Institut de tourisme et d’hotellerie du Quebec?

My French is pretty rusty, but I’m pretty sure it means The Institutionalized Hostile Tourists.

The carrot and the shtick?

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Hey Blog Guy, it’s me. That guy who collects photographs of famous people with vegetables. Bet you didn’t think you’d hear from me again.

Well, I did change my photo and got new sunglasses. What do you want? The last time I offered you photos of Michelle Obama with sweet potatoes and you said that wasn’t special enough.

Why is there garlic on our ceiling, Honey?

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Hey Blog Guy, I know you love to cook and sometimes share culinary secrets.

Do you have a good recipe for homemade pesto? It’s the BEST sauce with fresh linguine!

I spoke to an Italian chef, and I think I can help you out. You’ll need a butt-load of fresh basil, some parmesan, pine nuts, garlic and olive oil. I’m going to make a trial batch in my own kitchen while I write this.

Deadly danger lurks in Snake Town

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Ewwwwwww. What’s up with that photo, Blog Guy? It’s kind of creepy.

You think so? It’s just the boss of a snake farming company, in a village known as Snake Town, enjoying some snake meat at a restaurant.

Oh, whew. For a minute there I thought it might be something weird. I’m looking for a job myself. You think Snake Town is hiring?

Big trouble when the chips are down?

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Oh Dear Lord, tell me this isn’t happening!

I just wanted to watch some tennis, so I called the boss on our busiest day of the year and said I was sick with projectile vomiting, impacted wisdom teeth, temporary insanity and a fever of 106…

Then I got to my seat, and who’s right in front of me? The fricking PRIME MINISTER!

For the foodie who has everything…

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Blog Guy, I have a cooking question. How do you handle the pesky chore of skinning your snakes?

It’s easy, with the Williams-Sonoma Deluxe Snake Skinner, $4,299.99. I recommend the outdoor model.

Living off the fat of the land?

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I’ve complained here in the past that the problem with doing a blog for a real news organization is that sometimes people try to send me actual news, not realizing that unlike my Reuters colleagues, I can make up my own.

But I was intrigued to see in a real press release that The Southern Food and Beverage Museum was sponsoring a Public Policy Roundtable Series here in Washington, DC.

The White House can’t afford plates?

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Blog Guy, I’m disappointed in you.

Most of my readers usually are. What did I do now?

Easter came and went and you didn’t offer up your usual Goofiest Easter Photo. What gives?

I’m still waiting for our panel of judges. It’s down to two finalists.

Have yourself a chocolate little Easter…

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Blog Guy, I thought maybe you could run some photos to help get us in the mood for Easter tomorrow.

Sure. Now up here at the top, a guy is spreading chocolate to make Easter treats in…

Shermanize me another burger, honey!

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Blog Guy, I’ve been a real fan of Williams-Sonoma, that shop for pretentious foodies, ever since I first read about it here. Is their Summer Cookout Catalog out yet?

Yes, and it’s fabulous! I recommend this item at the top, the Deluxe Outdoor Guacamole Maker, $299.99. You can serve up perfect fresh guacamole, while your guests watch with envy!