Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

You stuck him with the wrong knife, fool!

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I’m a huge fan of our etiquette columns, which offer useful advice for folks who were raised by Neanderthals, frozen in a glacier for 50,000 years and then wake up to find themselves working in a Manhattan law firm. There must be more of those than you think.

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One etiquette column went over basic table manners for business meals, clearing up such fine points as whether to gesture with your cutlery, clank your utensils loudly against your teeth or slurp your spaghetti. I’m serious.

Amazingly, there’s even more to learn, and it is all spelled out for you in our latest business dining etiquette piece.

etiquette locust 240For example, it turns out you shouldn’t pile stuff like hats and gloves on the dining table.

Have you had the meatloaf here, Hillary?

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quiz show combo 490

Blog Guy, I read that President Barack Obama and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton went to a NATO summit in Portugal. What the heck do they do at a thing like that?

lunch 300The first item of business at those major international summits is to put in their lunch order.

Great pie, Ma! You pick the kidneys yourself?

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scotch pies 490

As an American, I grow weary of having to teach the world everything.

BRITAIN/Once again, we have photos here from something called the World Scotch Pie Championship, in Scotland. There were hundreds of “pies” in competition.

But the thing is, these are not real pies. These are made with stuff like lamb and mutton and mince and – I’m not making this up – kidney.

Are you back again? Most popular posts for 2010

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My above average readers have made this the second most popular Reuters blog for 2010, measured in both visits and page views, which is great news for me.

Of course, it’s better news for the smart guy who writes the number one blog, but still…

Think you could kill her for a little less?

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This is just pathetic. You may have seen the story about a former TV chef who pleaded no contest to trying to have his wife killed, and was sentenced to nine years in prison.

calorie commando 260Thankfully his wife wasn’t harmed, but here’s the┬ádisgusting thing.┬áDid this guy try to find an experienced, professional hitman like a decent husband would do?

Oeuf! I can’t take any more puns!

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caviar 490

Blog Guy, I read a Reuters story about a French guy who is trying to bring caviar to the masses.

Sounds like a rough roe to hoe…

Roe to hoe? Groan. I’m going to ignore that, Blog Guy, because this is a serious story. The guy is using eggs from farmed sturgeon.

“If it ain’t Lamar’s, it just ain’t steak!”

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Blog Guy, I know you get around. I’ve heard that U.S. celebrities, even superstars, often do TV commercials and endorsements for overseas markets, since they know the ads won’t be shown here. Does this happen a lot?

michelle steak combo 280Yes, much more than you can imagine. Above, here’s a screen grab showing first lady Michelle Obama advertising for Susie’s House of Doilies on a home shopping network over in Indonesia.

Are you smarter than your turkey?

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It’s that time again, when no matter how well you’ve hidden your stupidity during the year, it’s going to come out when you try to cook your Thanksgiving turkey.

NFL/It turns out, this is the ultimate IQ test. Just ask the folks who answer the phones at that Butterball Turkey Talk-Line, where any moron can call in and get expert advice simply by saying the words, “God help me, I am way too stupid to live…”

It’s lard work, but someone has to do it…

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junk food obama top 490

Blog Guy, I enjoyed your report a few days ago about President Obama eating doughnuts.

junk food obama combo 220How does that work? Does he just walk along and suddenly say, “I’d really like to clog my arteries with a load o’ fried dough about now!” and then they scramble to find a bakery for him?

Legumes and goobers and tubers, oh my!

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veg combo 490

Blog Guy, you’ve helped other readers with their photo collections. I recall the guy who collects pictures of dancing presidents, and the one who asked for shots of rich folks eating ice cream.

veg michelle potato new 280Frankly, as a serious collector, both of those guys sound pretty weird to me.

I see. And what do you collect?

Photos of important people with vegetables. Here’s part of my collection, including my pride and joy, former President George Bush holding a can of Bush’s Baked Beans. That one is worth a fortune.