Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Our secret ingredient is EVIL…

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COMICCON/TRON

Blog Guy, I read a couple of days ago some guy dressed as Darth Vader held up a bank. That made me realize, I’ve lost track of the career of the real Vader fellow, the one who was in those George Lucas movies.

You mean “Vaders of the Lost Arc,” right?

No, you hopeless dimwit. DARTH Vader, from the “Star Wars” films.

Oh, him. Sure. He’s moved on into decorating, fashion design and home entertaining.

BRITAIN/ Are we talking about the same dude? Strange face, talks kind of like James Earl Jones?

That’s him. On the right are some of his cool helmet designs now that he’s branched out from basic black.

Is this smile as lame as it feels?

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FINLAND

“Madam Prime Minister, I’d like to toast your people with a big glass of this, uh, pinot noir? Merlot?

rhubarb juice crop 240“Oh Mr. President, that’s not red wine, that’s our famous local RHUBARB juice!”

You here for business or pleasure, Mr. Stinky?

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CHINA/

Man, the actual news is so goofy this week, I don’t even have to invent my own.

You take for instance this true story about a truck driver I like to call Mr. Stinky, who got caught trying to smuggle 28 TONS of garlic from Norway into Sweden. Jeez, what do you suppose tipped them off?

Going beyond routine poutine cuisine

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poutine champ 490

Blog Guy, since Canada just hosted the world leaders and spent a fortune to present a good face to the world, I was wondering if they used the opportunity to promote that popular Canadian dish you’ve written about?

You mean poutine, the dish consisting of french fries covered in cheese curds and gravy ,which they eat in Canada and almost nowhere else.

…so help me God. Hey, where are my cookies?

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USA-AFGHANISTAN/

Why are you looking so happy today, Blog Guy?

USA-AFGHANISTAN/Thanks for asking. Because I’m going to testify before the U.S. Senate. I volunteered when I saw that they gave chocolate chip cookies to General Petraeus when he testified.

Okay, wait a minute, Blog Guy. What are you going to testify about?

Huh? I didn’t know it involved actually knowing something. I figured they would ask me how my weekend was and stuff. Look, that guy from BP testified before Congress and claimed he didn’t know anything at all. Can’t I just do that?

Is this even real money?

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two dollar bill 490

I’ve mentioned here before that the problem with doing a humor blog for a news organization is that people often try to send me news.

YUM-TACOBELL/Normally I just throw it away, but I was intrigued by an e-mail from the folks at Taco Bell. It turns out they are launching a petition to get the Federal Reserve to circulate more $2 bills, in conjunction with the food chain’s “$2 Meal Deal.”

Bring me that one, the SAUCY wench!

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JAPAN/

Blog Guy, I have a problem. I love giving dinner parties, but I don’t have enough storage space in my kitchen for all of my pots and pans and cooking utensils. What should I do?

JAPAN/You’re in luck. There was just a fashion show that addressed this very need, for chefs who are under your kind of, uh, strain.

Best of May: stormy weather and bygone romance

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It’s time for the official statistics revealing this blog’s most popular items for May, and I’m proud to note that readers didn’t just go for cheap yuks, they went for the high-class stuff, too.

CANADA/Like for instance, my hard-hitting piece on the Census folks’ search for secret apartment houses, and the one about increasing food supply by growing rice in brassieres.

The case of the missing roller skater…

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roller skater 490

Blog Guy, do you handle missing persons cases?

I’ve never done one before, but how hard could it be? Who’s missing?

roller skate crop 240My husband, Lamar. He took off eight years ago to get a large pepperoni pizza, and he never came back.

Children, meet Sarge and his pet snake!

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Let me say right here, seeing this soldier eat a snake while blood spurts all over his face is not what I find bizarre about this photo.

LEBANON/After all, we’ve seen a lot of that kind of thing, with folks gobbling snakes, frogs, rabbits, even brussels sprouts.