Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Get whiter teeth, with twice the pain

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Blog Guy, I read about a place in France that has made great strides in whitening teeth. Can you tell me more?

You’re in luck. I don’t actually read French, but then again I can make up stuff from looking at photos no matter where they were taken.

It scares me to death that that makes any sense to me at all, Blog Guy. So how does this method work?

I believe the technique involves biting on a gel-filled mouthpiece, which reacts to ultraviolet light.

What’s this-here doohickey for?

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Blog Guy, I could use some of your famous career advice.

My mom gave me a glossy brochure entitled, “The Glamorous Field of Dismantling Old Nuclear Bombs,” and I signed up for their training course.

It’s real interesting, but I wondered what you thought of that career path?

Taking Siri out for a spin?

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Blog Guy, I gather from your recent posts that you’re a big fan of Siri, the personal assistant on the new iPhone 4S who carries on conversations with users?

I am. I’m pretty dazzled, I must say.

So, have you gotten to know her personally?

Well, I don’t like to boast, but as you can see from this screen grab, yes. Siri sent me her personal, private phone number.

To goofinity, and beyond!

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I try very hard to invent high-quality fantasy stuff for my blog, but sometimes I just can’t compete with reality. For instance, I could never make up anything like this actual science story:

LAS CRUCES, New Mexico (Reuters) – A start-up space company building inflatable habitats for commercial and government lease has laid off half its staff because of delays developing space taxis needed to fly people to the outposts, the company president said on Wednesday.

I’ve ALWAYS wanted whatever this is!

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Blog Guy, anything new for us from Williams-Sonoma? I’m starting my Christmas shopping early this year.

You know, I think I pick on them too much. I mean, those folks are just trying to make a living with their $2,399.95 espresso machine, to choose an item at random from the new catalog.

New iPhone? No Siri, Bob!

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Blog Guy, I read your review of the new iPhone 4S the day it was released, and found it ridiculous. You bill yourself as one of the top technology bloggers in your zip code, and yet you didn’t even mention Siri, the phone’s incredible voice recognition feature, which answers questions and obeys commands.

I don’t think you even HAVE a 4S yet!

That’s where you’re wrong. I was just carrying on a conversation with Siri, and I’ll paste it into my blog to prove it.

Where’s the stylus for my new iPhone?

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So, Blog Guy! I guess for top gadget writers like yourself, this is a HUGE day!

Of course. Give me a hint. The new Williams-Sonoma catalog?

No! The new Apple iPhone 4S. Surely you have one and you’ve already played with it?

Oh, um, sure! I went over at 7 a.m. today but the line was very long, so I bought one from a guy outside. My staff and I are testing it now.

Lemme just hack away at this gizmo…

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Blog Guy, I’m looking for a new career and I know your advice is the best. I picked up a colorful brochure called, “The Exciting World of Battlefield Rocket Repair,” and I was wondering if you think that’s a good way to go?

That brochure is really making the rounds, isn’t it? I hear from lots of young people, captivated by the opening lines, “Hey, have you always wanted to see Libya?”

The food is greasy, but your hair is great!

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Blog Guy, I need some advice on home entertaining, and I know you’re an expert. Can you help me with some nagging problems?

Sure, what can I do for you?

Well, we have some friends coming to dinner soon, but it falls on the same day of the month that I wash my hair! I can’t figure a way out of this one.

Creepy gets a whole lot creepier

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Okay, this story is so disturbing I’m not sure where to begin.

A city in Turkey has equipped the local morgue with the latest gadgetry in case any of the bodies stored there have been declared dead by mistake.

It seems alarms and motion detectors in the mortuary will detect the slightest movement if one of the bodies emerges from a coma or unconsciousness.