Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

I’ll be back…with a nice merlot!

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Hey Blog Guy, I know you have a background in philosophy, and I’m struggling with my mid-term. I can’t get my mind around the concept of surrealism.

Keep trying, because there’s good money in professional philosophy. Let’s say you bring together two unrelated people, like German Chancellor Angela Merkel and California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, at a computer fair. That would be unusual.

But it wouldn’t be surreal?

No. But if you threw in a robot and had Schwarzenegger – who played The Terminator – take an orange from it, then you’d have a big juicy batch of surrealism!

Ah, now I get it. But then what if you added a bottle of wine the size of a rocket-propelled grenade, and got them to grin for no apparent reason?

Hey kid, welcome to Stupidville!

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I know a lot of you young readers come here for tips on jobs, and I have just become aware of a new career path which I simply cannot recommend.

It turns out, wildlife managers are seeing if they can keep crocodiles from returning to residential neighborhoods by taping magnets to their heads to disrupt their “homing” ability. I am not making this up.

It smells like the sub is coming!

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I’ve blogged in the past about the exciting opportunities to be found in the elite HSF (Homemade Submarine Fleet), aboard cheesy subs that carry tons of cocaine all the way from Colombia to the ultimate selling point, which I think is about two blocks from my house.

These craft have long been shrouded in mystery, but today we have a story that fills in some of the details. I was most struck by two particular facts in our story:

You left the Football in the restaurant, Michelle?

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Blog Guy, I saw a picture of the President and Michelle Obama out on the town on Valentine’s Day, and she was carrying a brown paper bag. What would the first lady be doing with a bag?

This is very sensitive, so don’t tell anybody else, but you know the so-called “Nuclear Football” the President always has with him in case he gets mad and wants to nuke some country?

I have you in my sights, wabbit!

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Sometimes it seems to take real people way too long to catch up with Looney Tunes.

Below is a photo of some Israeli guy showing off a “corner shotgun,” which apparently lets you shoot the enemy around corners, without exposing yourself.

Polly want a crapper?

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Hey Blog Guy, I love your blog, but I’ve often wondered something.

Thanks. What do you wonder?

Why don’t you have more pictures of birds going to the bathroom?

Your question is interesting, and it illustrates why my home address doesn’t appear on my blog.

But just for you, here is a video clip of a parrot that uses a toilet instead of pooping on my car, like every other bird does.

From hightops to flipflops in seconds!

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Has this ever happened to you?

You’re walking along in your high-top running shoes heading for the basketball court, when suddenly there’s a BEACH!

The tide is coming in. You’re going to have totally soaked footwear for the game, unless you’re wearing MODULAR SHOES!

Where’s Obama’s Obama outfit?

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Blog Guy, I’m very worried about security for Inauguration Day. With those huge crowds, how will they keep track of the Obamas?

All the ObamasĀ are wearing super-sophisticated computer laser holographic microchip high-security credentials from now through Inauguration Day, as you can see in these photos.

Bartender, make me a Flaming Headlight!

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Sometimes I feel an obligation to debunk new products as a service to my readers. The latest is the Headlight, a hat that actually contains an open flame.

Oh, I know all about the selling points. It’s the perfect night-time reading light, it keeps your head all comfy on a cold winter’s day, you can roast weenies while you walk, blah blah blah.

Look, Precious! A special on string!

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Blog Guy, you wrote recently that they’re starting to use cats for security jobs. Are other new uses being found for cats?

Yes indeed. Many people have started using their cats to do their grocery shopping.