Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
We have a video report on a new airbag for the elderly to wear, which inflates instantly when it detects that they are falling.
This personal airbag is exciting technology, but I think it’s being wasted, what with just keeping old people from hurting themselves.
Yo dudes, check out MY cool ideas, which I’m patenting!
BOXERS: Your personal airbag detects a punch coming, and your opponent gets a glove-full of instant cushion!
CARTOON CHARACTERS: Your personal airbag detects a falling anvil, and you avoid painful squashing!
WOMEN: Wear it as a bra. It inflates when some guy is checking you out.
BULLFIGHTERS: Your airbag detects a charging bull and inflates, the sharp horns hit the bag, and… Oh, wait. Maybe scratch that one.
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With sincere apologies to Dr. Seuss:
I would not like them here or there.
I would not like them anywhere
I do not like green eggs and ham.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.
Do you like to text and drive?
Would you like to stay alive?
Driving while you write with thumb?
Holy crap! You’re really dumb!
When we go to the multiplex and shell out $85 for a ticket and popcorn, the movie should teach us stuff we can use. Like, that this animatronic Tyrannosaurus in a show premiering this week is a bad idea.
Haven’t these guys ever seen a movie? Don’t they know that by tonight their top parts will be one place, and their bottom parts someplace else? No, I guess first they have to scoff at warnings, and explain that an animatronic dinosaur could NEVER turn against people.
Blog Guy, I know you keep up with new technology. I read that now they can determine the age of a wine by analyzing X-rays emitted when the bottles are placed under ion beams produced by a particle accelerator.
Yes. Or, another way would be to just look at the label. After all, home particle accelerators take up valuable room where you could have another plasma TV.
Readers come to this blog for the very latest in diet and beauty news, and it’s time again for Diet and Beauty Fair 2008, in Tokyo.
That’s only the beginning. Check out this video clip . One airline is standing passengers against upright poles on top of old biplanes.
I get this question a lot from Segway riders. If you want to truly get in touch with your inner nincompoop, help is on the way.
For sure. Have you seen the new Mercedes-Benz MS (Maximum Security) model in this photo? It is SO cool! The new security system tracks a would-be thief, snags him around the legs, hoists him upside-down on a retractable pole and holds him until police arrive.
Who knew that furniture should have warning labels sort of like the ones they put on cigarettes? We have a story about a wife who was angry at her husband for being drunk and refusing to get up from their folding couch. She kicked the handle, activating the mechanism which, well, killed him.
When death happens, you like to think it won’t be in such an embarrassing way that some jerky humor blogger will use it. So how will they write this poor guy’s obit to retain some measure of dignity?