Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

How to get rich from inflation…

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We have a video report on a new airbag for the elderly to wear, which inflates instantly when it detects that they are falling.

This personal airbag is exciting technology, but I think it’s being wasted, what with just keeping old people from hurting themselves.

Yo dudes, check out MY cool ideas, which I’m patenting!

    BOXERS: Your personal airbag detects a punch coming, and your opponent gets a glove-full of instant cushion! CARTOON CHARACTERS: Your personal airbag detects a falling anvil, and you avoid painful squashing! WOMEN: Wear it as a bra. It inflates when some guy is checking you out. BULLFIGHTERS: Your airbag detects a charging bull and inflates, the sharp horns hit the bag, and…  Oh, wait. Maybe scratch that one.

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More stuff from Oddly Enough

Call it a rule of thumb?

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green-eggs-cover.gifWith sincere apologies to Dr. Seuss:

 I would not like them here or there.
I would not like them anywhere
I do not like green  eggs and ham.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.

Do you like to text and drive?
Would you like to stay alive?

Driving while you write with thumb?
Holy crap! You’re really dumb!

Razor-sharp gnashing teeth? What could go wrong?

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When we go to the multiplex and shell out $85 for a ticket and popcorn, the movie should teach us stuff we can use. Like, that this animatronic Tyrannosaurus in a show premiering this week is a bad idea.

dino-2-0911-200.jpgHaven’t these guys ever seen a movie? Don’t they know that by tonight their top parts will be one place, and their bottom parts someplace else? No, I guess first they have to scoff at warnings, and explain that an animatronic dinosaur could NEVER turn against people.

This wine was made yesterday!

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Blog Guy, I know you keep up with new technology.  I read that now they can determine the age of a wine by analyzing X-rays emitted when the bottles are placed under ion beams produced by a particle accelerator. 

Yes. Or, another way would be to just look at the label. After all, home particle accelerators take up valuable room where you could have another plasma TV.

Beauty tips from Hannibal Lecter

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Readers come to this blog for the very latest in diet and beauty news, and it’s time again for Diet and Beauty Fair 2008, in Tokyo.

diet-and-beauty-blue-220.jpgThis year, the trend is very much to treat humans like food. For instance, there is this blue room, the “Salt Studio,” which uses salt tiles, high temperatures and humidity.

Archery: I remember yew…

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archery-arrows-120.jpgYou know, if you look at pictures of Olympic events from past years, there’s a certain comfortable continuity. The tools of the sport – swimming pools, hurdles – look pretty much the same…

Except, what the frick are those guys using in the archery event? Those gizmos look like Inspector Gadget teamed up on a science project with Rube Goldberg!

We’re experiencing turbulence, hang on to your pole!

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Hey, Blog Guy – Do you believe all this stuff the airlines are starting to charge extra for? Aisle seats, pillows, soft drinks… How far can they go with this?

biplanes-2-360.jpgThat’s only the beginning. Check out this video clip . One airline is standing passengers against upright poles on top of old biplanes.

Does it come with a pocket protector?

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winglet-2-160.jpg Blog Guy, I’ve been riding a Segway for a couple of years now, but I don’t feel I’ve lost enough of my dignity. Is there anything that can make me look like even more of a nerd?

I get this question a lot from Segway riders. If you want to truly get in touch with your inner nincompoop, help is on the way.

Do you smell captured car thief?

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mercedes-0721-crop-180.jpgBlog Guy, my car got stolen last week and I’m furious! Is there any real progress on theft-prevention?

For sure. Have you seen the new Mercedes-Benz MS (Maximum Security) model in this photo? It is SO cool! The new security system tracks a would-be thief, snags him around the legs, hoists him upside-down on a retractable pole and holds him until police arrive.

Col. Mustard, in the study, with a folding sofa!

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Who knew that furniture should have warning labels sort of like the ones they put on cigarettes? We have a story about a wife who was angry at her husband for being drunk and refusing to get up from their folding couch. She kicked the handle, activating the mechanism which, well, killed him. 

When death happens, you like to think it won’t be in such an embarrassing way that some jerky humor blogger will use it.  So how will they write this poor guy’s obit to retain some measure of dignity?