Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Our ten-second in-flight movie will be…

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Blog Guy, recently you wrote about a bunch of ambitious homemade inventions around the world. A submarine, a helicopter, stuff like that. Do those things actually work?

You bet they do. Here is that farmer in China testing his homemade flying device yesterday. It’s powered by eight motorcycle engines.

Eight motorcycle engines? Cool! Where did he go in it?

Up. About three feet. He hovered for 10 seconds.

Hovering? That’s kind of pointless, isn’t it?

Who’s to say? He may have tapped into a whole new travel market. Leave your worries behind and come hover with us, high above dogs and cats and short people…

See here, that’s just stupid. Hovering isn’t actually going anywhere.

Great science projects for your family…

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Blog Guy, my daughter, Julie, has to do a school project involving transportation. We were thinking about making a little cardboard sled.

A cardboard sled? Are you a chump? Don’t you care about getting little Julie into a decent college?

You’ve been upgraded to Gaddafi Class!

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Blog Guy, I saw some photos of fugitive strongman Muammar Gaddafi’s private plane, taken at an airport in Tripoli. I’m surprised you didn’t blog about it.

Look, there’s something of a conflict of interest here. As you may have noticed, the plane was a Basler BT-70, built by “my company” for Gaddafi.

This restroom ain’t for resting, pal…

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Blog Guy, last year you wrote about a business that was putting timers in their toilets, so that the lights would turn off after 10 minutes, even if the employees weren’t finished.

I wondered if anybody else is experimenting with ways to get people to spend less time in the bathroom?

Presenting the Caribou Smoker Royale!

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Blog Guy, you’ve been very good about helping us find solutions to those tough household chores in the past, and I have some more questions.

Gosh, all I ever really do is point you in the direction of expensive Williams-Sonoma gadgets.

For dummies who read this blog…

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Blog Guy, you run a fairly low-tech operation, right? I mean, there’s nothing complicated about doing a humor blog.

You couldn’t be more wrong. We do consumer testing, focus groups, FDA monitoring, all that stuff.

If Lego made shoes for women…

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Lamar, you said you had a hot new fashion design to show me. I’m skeptical after that nutty lingerie thing a few days ago, but I’m listening.

Here it is, boss, behold the future!

This is just a pile of crap, Lamar. Plastic lumps and rubber bands and stuff.

To the untrained eye, sure. But it’s actually a flexible modular shoe design which allows a woman to make 256 different footwear combinations!

Honeydew you need a new phone?

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Blog Guy, I guess cellphones are pretty much a universal sight now. I mean it’s the same thing in every part of the world, isn’t it?

Not everywhere. Over in Jordan, for instance, people still make their calls on huge melons.

Texting on the lawn, a rough row to mow?

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This is the season when thousands of people are being injured by doing really stupid things with a dangerous gadget, and I guess nothing can be done about it because it’s probably protected by that Second Amendment.

Naturally, I’m talking about the lawn mower.

According to a shocking new story, people are doing stuff like cutting the grass in flip-flops, drinking alcohol while they mow, and even talking on the phone or texting.

For the foodie who has everything…

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Blog Guy, I have a cooking question. How do you handle the pesky chore of skinning your snakes?

It’s easy, with the Williams-Sonoma Deluxe Snake Skinner, $4,299.99. I recommend the outdoor model.