Hey Blog Guy, it seems like you’re always sort of making fun of fashion models. Why don’t you just once listen to what they have to say, and learn something?

That’s good advice. It so happens we have a video report on supermodel Bar Refaeli, who was the cover model for this year’s Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition. She must have something to say, right?

I watched the entire two-minute report, so you don’t need to, and here are the best quotes - the ones that really made me stop and think:

“I’m always on the go. I travel a lot.”

“People have a tendency when they shoot me to put me in very little clothes.”

“I’ve tried on thousands of bikinis.”

“I will make my dream come true and find the perfect little bikini.”

So there you have it, a supermodel with a dream. And by God I bet she finds it, and I bet she sells it for $120.00. At least that’s what the video says.

Do the right thing. join the Oddly Enough blog network

Twick or Tweat? Follow this blog at rbasler

Above: Israeli model Bar Rafaeli in screen grab from video report.

Below: Rafaeli in 2007 file photo. REUTERS/ Alessandro Bianchi

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Blog Guy, I’ve read about the so-called “nuclear football” that goes everywhere with the U.S. President in case he needs to authorize a nuclear war. Are there any pictures of this doomsday gadget?

Photos of the super-secret device are very rare, but we got some at the White House a couple of days ago. Here you go.

Gosh, I guess I didn’t expect it to look so much like a, you know, football.

Exactly. Nobody expects that, so it’s a brilliant security ploy. It appears that President Obama was feeling a little playful, and he tossed it around with his aides.

I have to say that frightens me. Couldn’t that be very dangerous?

Only if it lands right on the big red button, and what are the chances of that?

Find inner peace.  Join the Oddly Enough blog network

President Barack Obama tosses a football given to him by the the 2008 NCAA national football champions, the University of Florida team, during a ceremony at the White House, April 23, 2009.

REUTERS photos by Jason Reed

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Blog Guy, I need help. I’m a smoker, and…

Say no more, I’ll try to help you quit.

No! I don’t want to quit, I just don’t want my wife to catch me! How can I cover the smell?

Here is the very latest cover-up technology. You line a spare room with 4,600 pounds of garlic, then heat it to 120 degrees, permeating every inch with the aroma. You could light up a cow pie and nobody would notice.

But won’t my wife wonder about the garlic smell?

Sure. Just say an Italian restaurant opened next door.

But she’ll learn that isn’t true when she tries to make dinner reservations there.

Ah, so you’ve got a SMART wife, huh? Then say you added a garlic panic room for vampire attacks.

Perfect! I think she’ll fall for that.

Yeah, even the smart ones usually do.

Join the Oddly Enough blog network!

A vendor smokes as he sells garlic at a market in Taiyuan, Shanxi province, China, April 13, 2009. REUTERS/ Stringer

More stuff from Oddly Enough

I have to chuckle at the Honda folks, who have unveiled a “dog-friendly” SUV.

Honda hasn’t said how much the dog features will cost, but they’ve got a cushioned dog bed, a built-in water bowl, a bone design inside and a paw logo.

I read this story to my own mutts, Shelby and Eddie, and they’re still laughing.

My pets say if you really want car-happy dogs, here’s what you need:

• Slits in the leather upholstery; easier to take hold and start chewing.
• Lose the roof, so they can feel the breeze and let their tongues flop freely.
• Squeakers embedded in every seat.
• An interior you can hose down, much like our own living room.
• A dashboard push-button cheese dispenser you can operate with a paw.

That’s what THEY call dog-friendly! And if the Obamas are smart, they’re already personalizing the  presidential limo for their new dog Bo.

See the world! Join the Oddly Enough blog network!

Above: Shelby and Eddie, designing a truly dog-friendly car.

Below: Heather Cammisa with the Humane Society and a dog named Sammy demonstrate dog- friendly features. REUTERS /Lucas Jackson

More stuff from Oddly Enough

I like fancy new technical gadgets as much as the next guy, as long as the next guy is an Amish farmer, but here’s one I just don’t see catching on.

An inventor has come up with a hands-free device he says will let you control your iPod using facial expressions, like winking and sticking out your tongue.

The downside is you have to walk around making grotesque faces, like you’re one of those people who can’t control nervous tics. Not to name names, but I’m talking about Renee Zellweger and Gilbert Gottfried.

So what if you’re really in the mood to hear “Honky Tonk Women,” so you wink and stick out your tongue just as some drunk Hells Angels are going by? You could end up with your iPod in a part of your anatomy where you won’t hear it again for a few days, if you catch my drift.

Our video item says the inventor is currently looking for business partners to turn his invention into a commercial product. Hey, why not try the Hells Angels?

The blog they don’t want you to read. Join the Oddly Enough blog network!

Above: Fashion model in 2008 file photo. REUTERS/Kiyoshi Ota

Below: Actor Josh Brolin in a 2008 file photo. REUTERS/Mario Anzuoni

Photos courtesy of Goofy Face Museum and Doughnut Shop

More stuff from Oddly Enough

So now they’re selling a diamond and gold-leaf “carat cake” as a $2,500 gift for guys to give when they propose marriage. I see disaster ahead.

“Honey, we’ve been dating for two years, and I have something to ask you…

“Here, have some of this very special cake while I’m talking. Go ahead, dig in.

“You know, I love you deeply, and I want… Ooooh, I guess your tooth fillings are reacting to those gold leaves, like chewing on a piece of Reynolds Wrap. Sorry.

“Anyway, we’re so happy, and… Sweetie, your gums are bleeding. See, those things are real diamonds, not Jujubes. Looks like you’ve cracked your front tooth…

“I didn’t think you’d cram all that gold in your mouth. You look like a fricking Colombian drug lord!

“You know, when you chew with your mouth open like that, the blood just sprays out. The diamonds must have cut a mouth artery or something… What was I saying? Never mind. It wasn’t important…”

Businessman Angelito Araneta Jr. shows a chocolate cake topped with 15 African diamonds and covered with 24-carat gold leaves, which he plans to sell at $2,558 to men for use as a marriage proposal gift. REUTERS/ Romeo Ranoco

Follow my blog on Twitter at rbasler

Join the Oddly Enough blog network!

More stuff from Oddly Enough

I know my readers love gadgets, so I keep an eye out for the very best new stuff.

Here are a couple of clever new toys incorporated into women’s hats, and I predict runaway success for both of them.

Tired of having to decide which room you want to watch a movie in at home? Try the Flexiplex Portable Entertainment Center!

This stylish chapeau incorporates video technology with a Pioneer speaker, and lets you go from room to room. Wherever you are, that’s where the movie is! Pass the popcorn, Pam!

There’s more. Weary of having to lift your wrist and focus on that little watch dial to see what time it is?

Behold the Time Topper! It’s a hat AND a clock, and all you have to do is tilt your head, look into a wall mirror, then figure out what the opposite time would be in the reflection. The correct time is yours, in less than two minutes!

Act now and get these handsome steak knives blah blah blah…

Want to see another hat gadget? Visit my Oddly Enough blog network!

Models display outfits designed by Nitin Bal Chauhan during a fashion show on the first day of India Fashion Week in New Delhi, March 18, 2009. REUTERS/Adnan Abidi

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Blog Guy, I really need some fashion advice!

“I’m invited to a very nice cocktail party. The problem is, I have a deep-rooted fear of getting lost late at night while I look for the valet parking guy, and wandering around for days waiting for rescue. This has happened to six of my friends. Help!”

Statistics show thousands of people each year suffer exactly that fate. This is why I’ve invested my money in the Swiss Army Hat.

Stylish enough for a Paris fashion show, if danger strikes this unique headgear is all business! Six LED lights begin blinking when you hit the panic button. A bicycle bell on your forehead lets you signal rescuers.

There’s more! Steel gears grind a stream of bread crumbs behind you, and if you fall off a cliff or something, large ostrich feathers float you gently to the ground!

That’s all very nice, Bob, but an ostrich can’t fly.

Uh-oh. Um, act now and get a free glow-in-the-dark face reflector?

Be young again!  Join the Oddly Enough blog network!

A model presents a creation by Indian designer Manish Arora as part of his Fall/Winter 2009/10 women’s ready-to-wear fashion collection during Paris Fashion Week March 9, 2009.  REUTERS/ Pascal Rossignol

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Ladies, it’s been years in the making, but thanks to genuine Midwestern Storm Cellar Door Technology, we’re proud to unveil the miracle Trashy Flashy dress!

How many times has this happened to you? You’re walking along on a sunny June day, and you’re like, ‘D’oh! It’s so nice out, if only I could get some sun!”

Well, the Trashy Flashy lets you catch the rays with the flick of your wrists!

But wait, there’s more!

You know how you suddenly see a real cute guy, and you’d like to flirt but he looks too fricking dimwitted to notice a wink?

Here’s the answer! The Trashy Flashy lets  you give him a a quick preview. You flash those doors, and before you know it, he’ll be telling his wife he has to work late!

And STILL there’s MORE! The Trashy Flashy lets you have abdominal surgery, without even disrobing!

Gals, we couldn’t call it a miracle unless it really was one. And remember, the bikini underneath is purely optional!

Why bother to think?  Join the Oddly Enough blog network!

A combination picture shows a model displaying a creation as part of the Agatha Ruiz De La Prada Fall/Winter 2009/10 women’s collection during Milan Fashion Week March 3, 2009 REUTERS/ Alessandro Garofalo

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Blog Guy, I’m back for more of your professional photo advice.

I understand that there are commercial aspects to photojournalism, and I’m ready for that. You know, shooting gadgets, expensive toys. Can I have some tips for shooting a big glitzy auto show?

Sure. You want to make the new models look very hot and sexy.

Thanks! So which parts should I shoot?

Parts? Well, here are some photos from the Geneva Car Show that is going on now. I guess you should focus on legs, thighs, curves…

Wait a second. Aren’t we talking about CARS?

Cars? Are you stupid? When I said MODELS, I meant… Oh, never mind, you seem to be hopeless when it comes to real news photography!

Find inner peace! Join the Oddly Enough blog network!

Models at the Geneva, Switzerland, Car Show, March 2-4. REUTERS photos by Denis Balibouse, Arnd Wiegmann, Valentin Flauraud

More stuff from Oddly Enough