Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Lamar, the crash test dummy…

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Lamar! Why am I talking to you on your cell phone instead of in person? I put you in charge of delivering our new electric car here at the auto show! It’s missing, and so are you!

AUTOSHOW/This place is full of journalists, cameras, live coverage, streaming video, all kinds of free publicity. Where’s my car?

Relax, Boss. Prepare to be dazzled!

Really? Try me.

Instead of just having the car there already, like all the other brands, I’m going to screech into the show at 80 miles an hour, stopping just inches away from a solid concrete barrier, to show how well she handles.

They’ll be talking about this thing for months!

AUTOSHOW/Lamar, I’m not sure about this. I can see you off in the distance now. You’re coming in VERY fast!

And the trunk is roomy enough for a…

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Blog Guy, have you been over to the auto show to see the new models?

detroit combo 340You bet, and this year they’re great, especially the Audi. I actually bought one!

Wow! Tell me all about them.

Well, the Ferrari and Jeep both come with one in a black dress, and the one that comes with the Chrysler has a white dress…

Look Ma, it’s like we’re really THERE!

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Staff, this holiday season we’re going for broke. We’ve jammed our store full of flat-screen TVs of all sizes, wall-to-wall, and now we need to make shoppers think they can’t live without owning one.

BELARUS/

Lamar, you were in charge of selecting content to excite the shoppers. They need to be slobbering, frothing at the mouth, willing to spend everything they have for one of these TVs.

See the new models at the auto show…

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AUTOSHOW/

Blog Guy, like many readers, I come to your blog for most of my automotive news. If I’m not mistaken, isn’t the LA Auto Show underway? How about some information on the new models?

auto show klum vertical 140Sure. We have hundreds of photos from that event, and I’m all over it.

It looks like red stiletto heels are really big now, and…

Let me stop you for a minute, Blog Guy. Those are legs and shoes. I want to know about CARS!

Oh, the gowns! Oh, the humanity!

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PAKISTAN/

What a glittering evening this is, folks. The celebrities are arriving now for our Lux Style Awards. With us here is a man who came all the way from Hollywood to help set up our arrival festivities, and he’s the best in the business. Sir, what should we call you?

lux awards vertical 240Lamar. Just Lamar.

And what do you think of our venue here, Lamar?

It’s quite modern. You’ve got the red carpet, the whole nine yards.

Oh, I believe it’s longer than that, Lamar. So give us some inside information about how you set up this arrival event.

We’re supposed to pretend it’s really him?

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FRANCE/

Blog Guy, sometimes I worry about security for President Obama in this crazy world we live in.

How do other countries deal with protecting their leaders? Does anybody do it better than our own Secret Service?

What’s this Kindle do? Must be short for kindling!

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I’ve been thinking I may be in the market for one of those Kindle gadgets that let you read a book without risking paper cuts, ink fumes and other bookbinding dangers. I won’t boast, but 2010 may be the year I actually read a novel.

staples_display_official_300Problem is, I want to try it out first. Difficult, since they come from Amazon, which doesn’t exist in the real world.

Welcome to our new Viking Slave Class!

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Blog Guy, I’m planning some vacations and I wonder what I can look forward to in the world of airline travel. I figure it can only get better, right?

Sure, if that’s what you’d like to believe. But you might want to look at a new airline seat configuration, the so-called “standing seat,” just unveiled at a conference on aircraft interiors.

Eat, Pray, Read?

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FASHION/

Blog Guy, you’re smiling today. You must have seen something amusing, huh?

USA/I sure did. You know how sometimes I imply that fashion models aren’t, you know, geniuses? Like maybe they don’t have to think a lot to do that job?

Celebrities carrying a Torch?

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Blog Guy, I come to you for all my news about technology and new gadgets.

Frankly, I’m astounded that you haven’t reviewed the new BlackBerry Torch! I mean, your review of the iPad was the industry standard. Not to mention your advice on making the iPhone 4 work.

So? We’re all waiting.

USA/Oh, gee, sorry. I can’t keep up with every little fad.

Here goes. Let’s see. Uh, Lea Michele, that actress from “Glee,” was there.