Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Well, there’s your problem right there, Mister!

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We have a video report about the Thai government deciding not to buy any more of these expensive bomb detectors because they say the the things only work 20 per cent of the time.

detector 1 280“Great news, men! We’re passing out your new bomb detectors, and I’m happy to announce that 20 of you 100 guys will get to go home to your families tonight!”

See, when you put it like that, you can understand why the Thai folks might be cheesed-off.

Our video shows the soldiers walking around using a gizmo that looks like it’s straight out of “Ghostbusters,” so I got curious about the GT200. I went to the company’s Website to learn more, and here is their explanation:

Hey, you’re getting your prince all over my binoculars!

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BRITAIN/

Blog Guy, I keep hearing that Prince Charles has failing eyesight. That’s sad. Is this true?

goofy crop vertical 200Yes, as you can see by his special eyeglass prescription, Charles….

I’m sorry, Blog Guy, I’m  not going to keep being your straight man for a picture this dumb. Now, I want to know what’s really going on here.

I used to be a burglar, but I got laid off….

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It’s a very sad day for crime. It turns out an influx of cheap electronic goods from Asia has prompted burglars to turn to other crimes such as robberies and muggings, since their once honorable profession doesn’t pay anymore.

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“Gradually, the prices of such goods has fallen so low as to they almost have no resale value. If you can buy a DVD player for 19.99 pounds, it’s simply not worth stealing,” one expert is quoted as saying.

Oh, the humanity!

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Lonnie, we’ve been very happy with your progress here at the toy company, but we’d like you to go that extra mile for us, to show you’re a team player…

Sure Boss, you just tell me what to do! I’m there for ya!

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That’s the spirit! Now, we’ve developed a new model helicopter guided by remote control, and we want you to take some publicity footage just to show how perfectly safe it is. You know, let those razor-sharp rotor blades get right up to  your face.

Once upon a time, in a blog like this…

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Blog Guy, it’s me. Goldilocks. All grown up. Out here on the slag pile where fairytale characters go when they’ve outlived their usefulness. Wrung out, discarded like old porridge…

Yeah, I get it. What are you doing in this sleazy dive? What happened to the three bears?

Mabel, Mabel, strong and able, your new skirt’s a coffee table!

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Blog Guy, I  need some advice on personal finances.

Like many people these days, money is tight.

BRAZIL-FASHION/I need new furniture for my apartment, but being a young single chick, I also like to dress well and keep up with the latest fashions. I can’t have both, so which way should I go?

You CAN have both, honey! A growing number of fashion houses are branching out into home furnishings, so you can enjoy your living room at home, and wear it when you go out.

The crying game?

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Blog Guy, recently you wrote about teargas tennis. I believe you said that was the most popular of all of the so-called Stupid Teargas Sports. Is that still the case?

PALESTINIAN-ISRAEL/

No, teargas handball has just overtaken teargas tennis in popularity. It’s a fast-action thrill ride unlike any other.

Crazed grocery robot in lima bean bloodbath!

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Hello Blog Guy, I am Susie, your personal robot. I will be assisting you in your grocery shopping today. What can I fetch for you?

Geez, Susie, you’re funny-looking.

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You are no George Clooney your own self, Blog Guy….

Let’s look at my list here. Go to Produce and bring me some tomatoes and potatoes….

Honey, your torch is out on the porch!

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Blog Guy, a lot of times I hear politicians talk about the “torch-bearing peasants” to describe the mob mentality. They don’t really have those any more, do they?

Good question. Actually, torch mobs seem to be making a comeback, as you can see in these recent photos of people protesting something, somewhere.

Wine angels: wenches on winches?

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Blog Guy, many college seniors depend on you for career advice. Are there any new opportunities out there? I am a woman with a creative writing major. I enjoy swinging from ropes and being around alcoholic beverages. Any advice?

Yes. Look into the exciting field of “wine angelry.” Apparently some hotels and restaurants are now storing their huge wine collections vertically, several stories high, and “wine angels” are sent up to retrieve bottles that are ordered, to entertain diners.