Blog Guy, I heard there was some big deal at the White House today. Can you please check with your sources?

Under an obscure rule, every four years on January 7, anybody who’s ever been elected president and has a suit on can come to the Oval Office to reclaim the job. Today, they ALL showed up! Security folks kept them at bay with long poles.

Wait a minute! This is just more of your horse poopy! That didn’t happen!

Let me correct myself. Maddame Tussauds opened a new Oval Office exhibit, with wax works of all the living ex-presidents. The TV lights got too hot and the wax started to…

What a moron! That didn’t happen, either!

Sigh. You’re right. You know those cardboard cutouts that tourists pose with as a gag? Somebody moved five of them into the same room, and…

Finally, the truth. Don’t you feel better now?

You got me. I sure do.

Avoid carbs! join the Oddly Enough blog network

Former President President George H.W. Bush, President-elect Barack Obama, President George W. Bush, former President Bill Clinton and former President Jimmy Carter meet in the Oval Office of the White House, January 7, 2009. REUTERS/Kevin Lamarque

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Man, I hope that preacher fella doesn’t recanize me. I owe him money. Please let him think I’m some OTHER guy with Secret Service guards!

Maybe if I tilt my head way down and don’t make eye contact, he won’t notice me. Or he’ll think I’m still prayin’….

I know, I’ll just start talkin’ into my lapel, and he’ll think I’m usin’ Blue Tooth.  “Hello, hello, can ya hear me now?”

“Doh! I’m still wearin’ my nametag!”

Get better mileage! join the Oddly Enough blog network!

President George W. Bush speaks with Rev. Luis Leon after attending a Sunday morning service at St. John’s Church in Washington, January 4, 2009. REUTERS/ Jonathan Ernst

More stuff from Oddly Enough

“Hey fella, anybody ever tell ya that you look a lot like me?

“Oh, of course they have! You’re one of those celebrity impersonators, aren’t you? You’re real good! I even have a shirt just like that one!

“In fact, Laura and me have a sofa like that, too! You really did your homework!

“Well, put ‘er there, pardner! Can we get a picture of me shakin’ hands with my lookalike?

“Whatsa matter, buddy? You don’t shake hands?”

Have better breath! Join the Oddly Enough blog network!

President George W. Bush jokingly shakes hands with himself at the unveiling of his portrait at the National Portrait Gallery  in Washington, December 19, 2008. REUTERS/Kevin Lamarque

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Blog Guy, you always have a lot to say about movie remakes. I’ve heard they’re going to redo those Sergio Leone “Spaghetti Westerns.”

Yes. The hot gossip is that President George Bush will take over the Clint Eastwood role. Look at the picture below.

Now see, I don’t believe that. But why IS Bush wearing that poncho, anyway?

Those ponchos were specially designed for the world leaders at s big weekend summit meeting in Peru.

Specially designed for leaders? Why, what is it called?

The “Honcho Poncho.” And you know what they called the big villa where they housed the leaders?

Don’t say it. Please don’t say it.

I have to. I can’t control myself. The “Poncho Villa.”

APEC fashion slideshow Join the Oddly Enough blog network!

Above: Clint Eastwood in “The Good, the Bad and the Ugly”

Below: President George W. Bush wears a typical Peruvian poncho while walking to the group photo at the Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation summit in Lima, November 23, 2008.  REUTERS/Kevin Lamarque

More stuff from Oddly Enough

George, I brought you a special gift. Italy’s greatest piece of literature, “The Divine Comedy.”

Hey thanks, Silvio! I love comedies. I’ll read it during the meeting this afternoon.

Um, it’s not really a comedy, George. It’s all about different sections of  Hell, and what politicians are there.

Politicians in Hell? It can’t be a true story!

It’s an allegory, George.

Oh, man, I hear you. My allegories start up every spring, as soon as that pollen hits the air.

Oh George, you fooled me again!

Thanks, you’ve been a wonderful audience. I’ll be here until January 20!

Improve your hearing. Join the Oddly Enough blog network!

President George W. Bush leads Italy’s Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi into the G20 Summit on Financial Markets and the World Economy in Washington, November 15, 2008. REUTERS/Jim Young

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Blog Guy, is it just me, or is everybody turning into a comedian these days?

Exactly. In these tough times, everybody wants a laugh. In recent days we’ve seen George Bush and Prince Charles get into the act.

Perhaps most surprisingly, author Gabriel García Márquez has been doing classic shtick from comedian Señor Wences.

The Nobel Literature Prize winner? “Love in the Time of Cholera?

I think so. Look at this photo of García Márquez at an event this week.

That’s amazing. But he should have some make-up on his hand, and maybe a little wig. And it looks like his lips are moving.

Hey, I didn’t say he was GREAT at it, I just said it looks like he’s doing it! “S’awright?”

“S’awriiiiight!”

Achieve inner peace. Join the Oddly Enough blog network!

Above: Señor Wences.

Below: Nobel Prize winner Gabriel Garcia Marquez of Colombia arrives at national tribute to Mexican writer Carlos Fuentes in Mexico City November 17, 2008. REUTERS/Henry Romero

More stuff from Oddly Enough

“Ya still don’t get it, do ya?

“The guy says, ‘Take my wife……..please.’ See, it’s that pause that makes it funny! It’s like he’s tellin’ somebody to take his…oh, never mind!

“You’re not supposed to mess with a perfect joke! It’s not funny when you say, ‘Please take my wife away for re-education through labor.’ That wouldn’t be a joke at all!

“Look, let me teach you a different one. Let’s see. You got roads in China? You got chickens? Okay. Why did the chicken…”

Don’t worry. Join the Oddly Enough blog network!

President George W. Bush glances at Chinese President Hu Jintao during the group photo at the G20 Summit on Financial Markets and the World Economy in Washington, November 15, 2008. REUTERS/Jim Young

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Memo to World Leaders:

It’s President Bush’s last big summit meeting, and we’re going to play a great gag on him at the G20 in Washington! This is going to be a laugh-riot!

Please pay attention. You’ll all come together for the Official Group Photo, see, but just before the photographer takes it, everybody will shrug and walk away, leaving the President there all by himself!

Now, can everybody please make sure the French guy, Sarkozy, reads this memo? He always messes up these gags, and we don’t want him to be the only one who doesn’t play along!

Lose ten pounds a week! Join the Oddly Enough blog network!

President George W. Bush (C) remains in place as various world leaders come back for a second group photo at the G20 Summit on Financial Markets and the World Economy, in Washington, November 15, 2008. REUTERS/Jason Reed

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Barack, let me show you something important. This Oval Office doorknob sticks, and it can lock when you don’t want it to.

When that happens, you have to walk all the way around to the tourist entrance and stand in line. Mighty embarrassing!

I usually put a book there to prop it open. They’ll bring you a thing called the Daily Brief, and that works good.

Now, I don’t know if they told you, but the house comes unfurnished. Not a stick of furniture. You can go to Ikea and buy your own stuff, like we did when the Clintons left, but you gotta put that together.

We got some nice stuff here, and I’m sure we can agree on a fair price to just leave it for you guys. Here, let me show you the candy machine…

Be above the law. Join the Oddly Enough blog network!

President George W. Bush takes President-elect Barack Obama into the Oval Office, November 10, 2008. REUTERS/Jim Bourg

More Stuff From Oddly Enough

French President Nicolas Sarkozy appeared with President George Bush yesterday and surprised onlookers by choosing to discuss tips for making really good French bread, which of course in France they just call bread.

Sarkozy used elaborate hand gestures to show how to knead the dough, and patiently answered questions from Bush such as, “When do you put in the ketchup?” and “Do you guys add the crust after you bake it?”

Lose 20 pounds in one week!  Join the Oddly Enough blog network

French President Nicolas Sarkozy speaks to the press alongside U.S. President George W. Bush before their meeting at the Presidential retreat at Camp David, Maryland, October 18, 2008. REUTERS/Jason Reed

More stuff from Oddly Enough