Oddly Enough Blog

You’ve got till tomorrow to pay up, pal…

Blog Guy, I know you’re following the New Hampshire primary closely for your readers. All state primaries follow pretty much the same format, right?

Not at all. The New Hampshire race mainly involves a series of physical challenges between hopefuls and local voters. The one who wins the most fights wins the primary.

Wait just a minute, Blog Guy. Is that really true?

Sure. Here you can see former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney arm-wrestling a barber in Manchester. Romney beat the guy.

And here on the right is a photo of almost-candidate Donald Trump, picking a fight with a New Hampshire resident a few months ago. It’s a very brutal system.

Political paraffin-alia?

Blog Guy, this race for the Republican presidential nomination is getting pretty wild. First one candidate surges ahead, then another, then another. Now they’re saying former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich is picking up support.

I think that’s probably true.

You really do? Is that based on your reading of the polls?

No, it’s based on pictures I just saw of new statues of Newt and his wife, at a wax museum.

Wax museums don’t mess around with losers, so when they unveil your statue, you’re going someplace, like these wax figures of then-candidates Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama at a Madame Tussauds, back in 2008.

Our captions generally describe these figures as “lifelike,” even though they’re not.

A goofy Thanksgiving to all!

Happy Thanksgiving, Blog Guy!

Thanks, and the same to you and to all my readers.

So what are you thankful for This Thanksgiving?

Me? I’m feeling very blessed to be surrounded by my dear family and great friends.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course you have to say that, but specifically, what are you thankful for right now, this minute?

Oh. Well, I’m thankful that I live in a country where nobody can force me to watch Charlie Sheen or listen to accordion music or eat Brussels sprouts.