Come back with my money, Supergirl!

Hey Blog Guy, you haven’t written much lately about the Goofy Face Museum and Doughnut Shop, which I know is your pride and joy. Got any new exhibits coming up?

As a matter of fact, yes. We’ve been in delicate and costly negotiations for weeks, to get a goofy-face shot of that British skier, Chemmy Alcott, ahead of the Winter Olympics. Here it is, for the first time ever!

Um, not to complain or anything, but that’s not a very goofy face.

Look, she’s a skier, not a weight-lifter or a tennis player. She’s doing her very best to look silly here, so cut her some slack. It took a two-day photo shoot just to come up with this one.

The last of the red-hot photo goof-fest!

Blog Guy, last week you kicked off your Best of 2009 lists with the five Goofiest Photos of the Year, remember?

I surely do remember, because immediately after I published it I thought of two more that deserved to be in that list, as well. One shows two world leaders having fun behind the wheel, and the other shows invading space goddesses getting their first look at Earthlings.

But wait. Isn’t it your blog? Couldn’t you have the SEVEN Goofiest Photos of the Year?

I say dear, have those voices returned?

Quick quiz: Prince Charles’ wife, Camilla, is seen here reacting violently upon learning…

a) The guy who “married” them was not an actor, but was in fact a real clergyman

You commoners drink this crap?

Okay gang, you all know the deal. We’ve actually persuaded Prince Charles to endorse our brand of coffee for a TV commercial!Yeah, he said it’s only Canada so nobody will see it anywhere important, and he can use a few extra bucks.It’s a real advertising coup, but we only get one take, so it has to be perfect the first time.Now, the prince is going to just be walking along doing prince stuff, and ask for a cup of our coffee. He’ll try it, and then give us a big smile of delight.Oh my God! This is our one take? This is supposed to make people buy this crap?Well, we’ve paid for it so we have to use it, but at least edit out that last few seconds where he drops to his knees and spews his lunch on the crowd.

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Britain’s Prince Charles samples naturally grown coffee in traditional farmer’s market, at the Evergreen Brick Works Restoration site, in Toronto November 6, 2009. REUTERS/Fred Thornhill

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Have fun, will travel…

Blog Guy, I just read a great Travel and Leisure magazine article titled “Top Travel Websites of 2009,” and do you KNOW what I found?

Yes. My blog is mentioned there, and by the magazine’s Executive Editor, no less.

Well Bob, don’t get me wrong, and congratulations, but… What would happen if people planned a vacation using YOUR blog?

Mr. Lama, I can’t find your hotel…

Blog Guy, I see the Dalai Lama is in Washington, DC. He gets to meet all the biggies when he travels, right?

Yes. In the combo shot below you can see him with Presidents George Bush in 2007 and Bill Clinton in 1998, and the current leaders of France, Britain and Germany. Oh, and this week with Senator John McCain, the recent Republican candidate for president.

Wait a minute. I’m not up on my current events, but McCain didn’t win, did he?

Here’s your chance, Chancellor!

Blog Guy, summer is over, and I was wondering how the tourist season treated your famous DC tourist destination, the Goofy Face Museum and Doughnut Shop? Our family went there in July, and it was the high point of our trip.

You’re too kind. Thousands of tourists visited, leaving sticky glazed fingerprints all over our photos. Maybe we should only sell doughnuts to folks on their way OUT from now on, or at least maybe offer moist towelettes.

Good idea. Any big plans for new attractions in the fall?

That’s up in the air. I think we’ll postpone our new exhibit, “Goofy Dad: a Look at John and MacKenzie Phillips.”

It’s your turn to be snarky!

Blog Guy, some of us readers were noticing you never take a day off. You post stuff constantly.

I can’t take time off. There’s too much goofy stuff in the world. If I let my guard down, it’s the end of life as we know it.

But we can be smart-assed and snarky, too. Couldn’t you just get us started and then we could take it from there?

Is that the postal workers’ team, or what?

Blog Guy, I visited your Goofy Face Museum and Doughnut Shop last week, and I had a great promotional idea for you!

Hit me.

Well, I know the museum already sponsors lots of tennis players, but what if you were also to sponsor some other sport? Like say a men’s softball team.

A dozen decent docents?

Blog Guy, I read your item about the Goofy Face Museum and Doughnut Shop. Are you hiring qualified museum guides? What’s that fancy word for people who do that?

You’re thinking of “docent.” Yes, we can always use a decent docent.

If I work at the museum would I have to agree with you on everything?

Yes. I don’t tolerate docent dissent.