Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
A chance to arm-wrestle WHO?
Blog Guy, have you planned any special holiday events for your Goofy Face Museum and Doughnut Shop in Washington, DC?
You bet we have. We have new photo exhibits called “Goofy CEOs” and “Our Goofy Folks in Uniform.”
Plus, This week is our “Arm-Wrestle the First Lady” event, as you can see in the top photo.
Really? It surprises me that Michelle would participate in something like that at your museum, what with her commitment to eating healthy.
Oh. Well, she may have gotten the idea that it’s for charity, and we may have used our stationery that doesn’t mention doughnuts.
Blog Guy, in the picture it looks like your museum doesn’t seem to have walls or a roof. What happened?
Farewell to the Gaddafi Goof-O-Rama
Blog Guy, have you been crying? What’s the matter?
Oh, you know, I just hate to see Muammar Gaddafi go.
Are you nuts? He was a brutal dictator, overthrown by his own people!
Sure, but he was a madcap, zany goofball, too. He was in a class all by himself, and my blog was richer for him.
So it’s all about you and your blog and your goofy stuff, Blog Guy? Everything in the world?
Sure, now that you mention it. All I had to do was search our photo file for his name, and there he was. Meeting a foreign leader next to his ornate Kleenex box…
Hah..glad you like that! Shra, you should have said it’s fan-tase-tic. Would be more in character.
Suddenly, it’s GREAT to be Ronald!
Blog Guy, awhile back you showed us lots of spam you were getting by mistake. It was meant for a guy named RONALD Basler. He seemed to be having a pretty rough time, what with debt, depression, a leaky roof… Have you checked on him lately?
It’s kind of you to ask. I’m still getting tons of this guy’s spam, but his fortunes seem to have improved.
What makes you say that?
Check out his latest spam, above. It looks like Ron’s got a sweet gig in the lucrative postcard-sending field.
Plus, folks are offering him good deals on cars and insurance, and he might be planning a getaway to Napa.
He seems to be treating himself to nice restaurant meals, even the Outback Steakhouse.
Well geez if there is gonna be MST3K reruns and pics of Kate let’s all head to the kitchen and peel some potatos!
Coming soon, the Sound of Stupid…
Blog Guy, I just heard about an exciting project involving your blog. Can you confirm it?
Yes, the last two years of my blog postings are being released as Blogs on Tape, so folks can listen to them in the car, on dates, during court arraignments, whenever.
That’s great! I know it’s important to get the voices right on these audio things. Who are you using?
We assembled a stellar audio team. Actor George Clooney does Blog Guy. Here you can see him cracking up during a recording session, trying to deliver the line, “What do I look like, an ornithologist?” He just loved the material.
Wow, that’s quite a coup! And the all-important voice of your sidekick, Lamar?
That would be Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin, seen here playing off of Clooney’s straight lines with his over-the-top wacky rejoinders.
Get out your dimes, it’s midnight!
Blog Guy, if my calendar is correct, you’ve got a major event coming up?
Yes, the celebrated Goofy Face Museum and Doughnut Shop, here in Washington DC, is ready to launch our big new season the day after Labor Day.
I just don’t understand that. I always thought the big tourist season is in the summer.
You’ll have to ask the museum’s marketing director, Lamar. It’s something about wanting to avoid having crowds. It’s the same reason we’re only open from midnight to 6 a.m., and why the $20 admission must be paid in dimes. “Anything you can do to keep the tourists away,” Lamar says.
But anyway, our intrepid night owl visitors, their pockets sagging with coins, will find some nice new exhibits this year, such as our glitzy tributes to actor George Clooney and Vice President Joe Biden.
That’s very cool, but it looks like your best new Goofy Face portrait acquisition is musician Neil Young. Trust me, Blog Guy, that’s a show-stopper!
Blog Guy and Lamar, I most certainly hope that you explained to Mr. Young that you don’t offer free doughnuts after closing time. You just keep putting the same doughnuts in the case every day, hoping they get sold someday.
Eugene, please have a seat…
Say, Blog Guy, I’ve been wondering about that guy who’s sort of a living legend in your blog. You know who I mean.
Of course. You’re talking about none other than Eugene “Toilethead” Johnson.
Is it true that there is only the one photo of him, and after that he just vanished?
Yes. I’ve used that single photo eight times in my blog, an all-time record. I have detectives out scouring the world for Eugene. That’s a lot of money down the drain.
Scouring? Down the drain? Really? Why don’t you just say eventually you’ll flush him out?
Because I do have some humor standards. There have been reported sightings. One in Romania this month, and one in Honduras last year.
Blog Guy, I thought you ran into Eugene “Toilethead” Johnson when you were working with fake barf at Camp Juvenile. He was working with fake poo (or eating a Baby Ruth candy bar):
http://blogs.reuters.com/oddly-enough/20 11/05/10/want-a-margarita-in-a-dribble-g lass-sir/
Michele Bachmann, the wurst winner ever?
“I am Ioway born and bred, and on Ioway corn I’m fed…” **
Hey Blog Guy, so Michele Bachmann won that Iowa thing. What do you think swung it her way?
Are you serious? She ate a corn dog in public. How could anybody top that?
I mean, sure, Romney ate a porkchop on a stick, but nobody really put it on the line like Bachmann did.
I don’t believe I’m familiar with corn dogs. What’s in them?
I suppose it’s a mixture of corn and dog, but don’t hold me to that. It’s just a guess.
BG…Your “target demographic” would neither “get” nor appreciate the OE Blog. I guess you’re stuck with us, so maybe you should just “Let It Ride.”
@Nosmmo – No matter what else, she’s a politician, so she’s singing a medly of BTO: “Gimme Me Your Money Please,” “You Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet” amd “Roll on Down the Highway.”
I guess it must be Sunday again?
Lamar, come to my office for a minute.
What’s this big stack of goofy photos I found in the wastebasket?
That’s just overflow, Boss. You know, we bought ‘em for the blog but then the writers couldn’t come up with anything clever.
So it’s the fault of the writers?
Of course, Boss. Isn’t everything?
evidently nobody will fall for the Prez’s “pull my finger” joke anymore
Up high, down low, too slow…
Blog Guy, have you ever thought of running for national office? I mean, you live in DC anyway, so it’s not like you’d have to move very far.
Thanks for asking, but I just couldn’t handle that much compromise.
Ah, I hear you. You mean the hypocrisy, the back-room deals, the corruption?
Nah, I mean all the high-fives. I can stand that other stuff, but I will not high five, even if it means my political career.
Look at this top photo, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton high-fiving Turkey’s foreign minister. What is she thinking?
As you can see, both Democrats and Republicans do it here, all the time.
following Spin’s example, I offer a Friday night haiku:
And I learn nothing.
Should I appeal my first zap
To the Supreme Court?
“Discipline from love”
That is what mom & dad said.
My reply: Yes, Ma’am.
How do you get corn to stay on this thing?
Quick quiz: the politician in this photo is…
a) Just noticing they have strange microphones in Iowa.
b) Wondering why these people attach corn to a stick before they eat it.
c) Wishing he’d brought some toilet paper with him to take to the outhouse.
d) Thinking of beating himself to death to get away from all these farmers.
Corn is a sore subject hereabouts. It’s been too wet to plant. It rained 27 out of 30 days. Now, it’s too late to plant. Here, after May 20, you figure two less bushels per acre for every day you don’t plant. I did get in 14 acres of corn, only because my farm is on a sandy ridge, but most farmers will be all wheat and soybeans this year.
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Resident Oddly Enough blog Expert
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@justM: aaarrgh! I missed that in my preparations for this onrushing apocalypse thing that the Blog Guy is always warning us is coming! I’d ask you to inform me of this gadget, but we all know how that would end.