Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Blog Guy, can you settle an argument with the harpsichord player in my baroque ensemble?
Baroque ensemble? Harpsichord? Well at least this should be a little more high-class than most of the disputes I get.
She said she heard Prince Charles strangled this soldier with his bare hands, see, and that he…
Stop! First, Charles was wearing gloves. I don’t know how this “bare hands” thing even got started.
Blog Guy, recently I visited your popular Goofy Face Museum and Doughnut Shop, and I bought several of your academic treatises on goofy photography in your gift shop. I read them all, even your 600-page “Goofy Prehistoric Cave Paintings and Stuff like that.”
So what? We don’t give refunds. You can’t prove you bought that stuff at our museum, and besides, there’s no law against calling myself “Doctor” on the cover of some book.
Blog Guy, may I ask a question about tennis?
I don’t see why not.
You used to show a lot of pictures of tennis players making goofy faces, but then I recall you got in big trouble for that. So I guess you can’t run those here anymore?
I was fully vindicated. When I stopped featuring goofy tennis faces in my blog, global interest in the sport plummeted.
Blog Guy, I heard a strange rumor about French President Nicolas Sarkozy.
My dentist, who actually knows some French people, told me Sarkozy has a deep-seated phobia of jet planes and won’t go near them. Could this be true?
I hear that a lot. Cripes, I don’t know how these crazy rumors get started.
Blog Guy, since the year is almost over, can you give us a preview of what surprises the Goofy Face Museum and Doughnut Shop has in store for 2011?
You bet. We’re busy gearing up for the start of our huge winter tourist season, with new exhibits and a grand reopening.
I am thankful every single day for the photos I get to use in this blog.
Without them, I would just be another doofus trying to describe goofy stuff in words, and who needs that?
I’d be like, “Oh man, you should have seen Hillary’s face when Karzai pulled a quarter out of her ear!” Or like, “Queen Elizabeth was so cheesed off when Prince Charles described that cockroach he found in his haggis!”
Blog Guy, recently you revealed that you work as President Barack Obama’s Junk Food Advance Dude, helping him find the best high-cholesterol foods in the country. I don’t get it. He’s the president. Can’t he order any food he wants?
Oh, he tried that, but he quickly found out most carry-out places won’t deliver to Air Force One. It’s better if he just picks the stuff up himself.
Blog Guy, I guess like everyone else you’re all caught up in Britain’s royal romance between Prince William and Kate Middleton, right?
If by “all caught up” you mean I’d rather be slowly disemboweled with dirty plastic picnic utensils than hear another word about it, then sure.
Out with it, Blog Guy. The blogosphere is abuzz over some new relationship between President Obama and your Goofy Face Museum and Doughnut Shop.
Okay, but don’t tell anybody else. As you may recall, when he first took office Obama remained aloof from our museum.