Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

A dozen decent docents?

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Blog Guy, I read your item about the Goofy Face Museum and Doughnut Shop. Are you hiring qualified museum guides? What’s that fancy word for people who do that?

You’re thinking of “docent.” Yes, we can always use a decent docent.

If I work at the museum would I have to agree with you on everything?

Yes. I don’t tolerate docent dissent.

Does my own opinion interest you?

It doesen’t. You’re a docent.

Does that mean museum visitors can disrespect us?

No. We don’t allow dissing decent docents.

I can’t start right away. I have diarrhea and inflammation of my lower bowels.

Sounds like you’ve got a dose of docent dysentery.

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Above: Men take part in a zombie parade in Frankfurt, July 18, 2009. REUTERS/ Johannes Eisele

Hiya, I’m the new Goofmeister!

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Blog Guy, I love your Goofy Face Museum and Doughnut Shop, and visit it whenever I’m in DC. But I heard on the radio that there is a new chairman. Are you being eased out?

No, nothing like that. The museum board isn’t about to dump me after we just had our most successful week ever, with nearly 40 tourists gaping at the pictures with their sticky jelly doughnut-stained faces.

You will now cluck like a chicken!

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Blog Guy, I know you’re a real Washington insider. How does President Obama get so many people to be so devoted to him? Is there some secret?

Yes. He puts the hocus-pocus on them.

I beg  your pardon? The hocus-pocus?

You know, the old mumbo jumbo. The hootchie-kootchie. The big whammy. He wiggles his fingers, makes a frowny face, gives them the stink eye…

Berserk athletes in Paris, France

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Blog Guy, I remember from a few months ago you were in trouble with the tennis people for implying that they are unattractive when they play the game.

I think you had to agree to choose your photos randomly, and run a disclaimer. How’s that going?

Here comes Jerry’s tongue again!

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Blog Guy, I heard there was some kind of financial disaster involving your Goofy Face Museum and Doughnut Shop.

It’s horrible. We spent a huge portion of our 2009 acquisition budget for the photo on the right of comedian Jerry Lewis mugging in Cannes this week. We were told this was the only Jerry Lewis goofy face shot in existence.

Reheat the doughnuts, Lonnie, the tourists are here!

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Some readers have asked recently why I don’t seem to mention the Goofy Face Museum and Doughnut Shop much these days.

Yes, it’s still open, right here in the heart of the nation’s capital, and in fact we’re gearing up for the summer tourist rush, when weekly traffic may reach the high two figures.

You tired of havin’ a tongue, pal?

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I like fancy new technical gadgets as much as the next guy, as long as the next guy is an Amish farmer, but here’s one I just don’t see catching on.

An inventor has come up with a hands-free device he says will let you control your iPod using facial expressions, like winking and sticking out your tongue.

Deputy in a doughnut shop?

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Many of you have asked me to do blog updates on events at the popular Goofy Face Museum and Doughnut Shop, here in Washington, DC.

Big things are happening! During inauguration week Washington was bursting at the seams, and the Museum got seven visitors – a record for us!

Is it Halloween again already?

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Blog Guy, give us an update. A few days ago you were in big trouble for running funny pictures of tennis players. I believe some players were coming to talk to you about showing more respect. How did that turn out?

Pretty well. I promised them that from now on, I will choose my tennis photos randomly, like the ones here, without looking for goofy faces.

Look! It’s the Dancing Presidents!

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Blog Guy, I’m hoping you can help me. I collect photos of dancing U.S. Presidents.

Then I doubt if anyone can help you.

My collection begins with a priceless Daguerreotype of Zachary Taylor doing a polka in 1849, and includes a never-published photo of Dwight Eisenhower doing the Twist.