Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Okay, now show your ammo to Sister Ann…

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guns-face-140.jpgToday we have an extra special edition of our popular feature, Things Maybe We Should Have Explained in a Caption, but Didn’t. This actual photo caption says priests are checking firearms, as if that’s just typical.

Excuse me, Padre, the country ran out of sin, so you’re just wandering around inspecting firearms?

I can’t be bothered to research this, so I’m going to presume it’s “Wacky Career Day” in their town. Clergymen inspect guns, florists become proctologists, pig farmers hear confessions, concert pianists pilot commercial airliners…

So that explains that. But what makes this an especially bizarre caption is that it also leaves us wondering about something else: Why in the fricking world is this priest giggling while he’s holding a rifle barrel? I guess we’ll never know…

Sir, that carry-on bag is too large! Sir!

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police-2-160.jpgHandy Summer Travel Tip #42: Airlines are clamping down on carry-on luggage regulations. If you have a hanging bag for your suits, you may meet resistance in carrying it aboard the airplane. 

Take these two businessmen, who are probably violating several other airline rules in the process of expressing their very strong feelings about their carry-on bags. In international airline parlance, this maneuver is known as “The Butch and Sundance Ploy.”

Now, share those grenades, Joey!

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weapons-2-160.jpgQuick quiz: your kids are pestering you for the so-called “day of fun” you promised them a couple of years ago when you were half-asleep.

A really good place to take them just to shut them up would be…

Yeah, I was surprised by that last option, too, until I saw our pictures of small children playing with assault rifles, grenade launchers and I don’t know, maybe even nuclear warheads. It’s anybody’s guess what they sell at the souvenir shop.

Rookie, where’s your pillow?

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This is another in the popular series we call “Things Maybe we Should Have Explained in the Caption, but Didn’t.” Here we have a photo of a dude we’re told is a new police graduate in Iraq, demonstrating his skills by playing dead.

Huh? I don’t think they teach that class to police cadets here, and frankly I’m a little surprised there is a need for it in Iraq.  From what you read, you’d think the police over there would have other stuff to occupy their time.

I guess we’re playing stud?

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Blog Guy, I’ve heard there is a kind of poker played with live, gun-toting  troops.

cards-140.jpgThat’s ”Neck Deck Poker,” or “Ante Maim,” where 52  armed soldiers each have one card behind their head. They jump in a pile and roll around, to “shuffle” the deck.  Then they put money in the pot and form poker hands. This pair of deuces is going for a full house, which…

New cargo shorts, Mr. bin Laden?

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This photo from Afghanistan stopped me cold. Is the guy in the white cap wearing a Burberry scarf? Have they opened a little shop in downtown Kabul to compete with Louis Vuitton and others?

Okay, another possibility. Say the scarf is counterfeit, an occasional problem with this distinctive plaid. This still means designer stuff has made it to Afghanistan!

Wait here, boss, I’m going out to my car!

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It turns out a “take-your-guns-to-work” law was just passed by the Florida senate, letting workers keep guns in their cars for self-protection, so road rage doesn’t need to be just an empty outburst, and then lock those guns in their cars while they go into work.

It does exempt some workplaces, like nuclear power plants, prisons and schools, so obviously it’s been carefully thought through. But what about those Cape Canaveral astronauts? Can they take guns up to the shuttle? And you have to think about the heat, which can top a sizzling 100 degrees there. When your coworkers leave guns and ammo on the dashboard in the sun, will there be surprises?

Kind of a waste of clay pigeons, no?

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It turns out India’s marksmen are threatening to boycott the upcoming Olympics because they have a shortage of ammunition for training. You can read about it in Marksmen fed up with shooting blanks.

I could see where this may be demoralizing. Oh sure, at first it’s great, just pretending to have bullets. “Hey Floyd! Fantastic! You didn’t miss anything! But you need to improve on pointing your fingers, and you have to make more realistic shooting sounds with your mouth…”

Shotgun wedding? roll out the double-barrel!

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shells-this-140.jpgBlog Guy, I have a delicate problem. Our daughter is getting married next week and it’s a shotgun wedding. I’m choosing my dress, and I don’t know where I should carry my ammo for the event. 

Um, you may be taking that term a tad too literally. Modern parents don’t often tote a real shotgun to the nuptials. 

Give me that Uzi, Susie, it’s my turn!

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It’s time again for another installment of our very popular feature, “Truth, or Spoof?” in which readers have to guess whether a story is real news, or very clever satire.

It seems a planned Republican fundraising event in New Hampshire is inviting party members and their families to a Machine Gun Shoot, where they can spend a day trying out automatic weapons such as Uzi submachine guns and M-16 rifles.