Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Five great tips for keeping in shape

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Blog Guy, you seem to have lost some weight, judging from your blog profile photo, and it looks like you’re working out, as well. Please share some health and fitness tips with your readers.

Okay. The first thing is to figure out what you should weigh. There are plenty of free online tools for calculating your Body Mass Index, which is a simple function of your height and weight.

Now, this is important to know. By BMI standards, nearly everyone on earth shows up as morbidly obese.

Ouch. Is there any way around that?

Yes. I told the calculator I was 7’11″ tall, and suddenly it said I weighed too LITTLE! I got fried chicken and cheesecake for dinner, baby!

How the rich and powerful keep fit

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Blog Guy, as someone who hangs out with the power elite, can you tell me how they manage to stay in shape? I mean, they must get free food anytime they want, so how do they cope with all that?

Good question. Powerful people usually hire other powerful people as their personal trainers.

Maybe they’re just grimacing in pain?

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bodybuilders bikinis this 490

People, we know why we’re here. Our public relations firm has been hired by a bodybuilding association to improve their image, since focus groups tend to describe bodybuilders asĀ  freakish, grotesque, disgusting and hideous.

bodybuilder vertical this 240So. Who’s got some ideas. Lamar, you raised your hand?

Yeah Boss, I’ve got a suggestion. I think if we just got them to smile all the time while they’re onstage, people wouldn’t notice the rest of it.