Oddly Enough Blog

The worst fashions? Manure couture…

Blog Guy, I mainly come here for your coverage of really bad fashion. You do show us ALL the worst creations, right?

Of course I do. Except the stuff I need to protect my readers from, of course. But everything else gets…

Wait a second, Blog Guy. Nobody asked you to protect us.

We can take it, no matter how bad it is. We DEMAND to see the worst runway designs this year, and we want to see them now!

But I don’t think…

Don’t make me go to your boss, Blog Guy.

The food is greasy, but your hair is great!

Blog Guy, I need some advice on home entertaining, and I know you’re an expert. Can you help me with some nagging problems?

Sure, what can I do for you?

Well, we have some friends coming to dinner soon, but it falls on the same day of the month that I wash my hair! I can’t figure a way out of this one.

It’s a dilemma, that’s for sure, but I suggest you go for the new Panasonic hair washing robot, seen here being demonstrated on a mannequin.

This way, you can have the robot wash your hair, leaving you free to prepare a gourmet dinner for your guests. Problem solved?

Er, I was just going to zip over to a fast food drive-through to pick up the meal. You think the hair-washing robot comes in a mobile version?

Warning: suspect may wear a mullet-proof vest…

Okay, how is this guy not in jail yet?

We’ve had several stories about the so-called “Mullet Bandit,” who has robbed four banks in Ohio in the past month.

The guy earned the clever nickname by being a bandit and, well, sporting a classic mullet haircut, short in front but long in the back. Here he is in the top photo.

Before the FBI uses up a lot of valuable computer time cross-referencing “bad hair,” “Ohio” and “dumbass,” could I make a suggestion?

They need to subpoena the sales records from online wig sales businesses, because I know this guy is just wearing a mullet wig.

That is the only explanation. If this were a genuine mullet haircut, assuming he isn’t escaping in a time machine, it would make him one of only six guys in Ohio to wear one.

Real nice tats, you betcha!

Hey Blog Guy, I know you’re really into presidential politics. So, is Sarah Palin going to run, or not?

It’s hard to say for sure, but all the telltale signs are there.

Like what?

Well, she was here in DC on Sunday, and she did the traditional Admiring of the Tattoos, as every prospective candidate does.

I’m not familiar with that tradition.

It started with Thomas Jefferson, admiring the tattoos on American Revolution veterans, and has continued on for two centuries.

Wow. Um, any other important signs?

She flew in on Hair Force One?

Come on into Air Force One, sir. You’re the new hairdresser here to style the first lady’s hair for the big trip?

Yes, I am. I must admit I was a little surprised to be called in for such a big job.

We don’t have many options left. Ms. Obama is VERY particular about her hair, and often if she’s unhappy with the results, the stylist…

Gets fired?

No. Totally disappears from the face of the earth. So, what is your name again?

I’ve decided not to be President Trump…

Blog Guy, what’s wrong? You look like you’ve been sobbing.

Yeah, I have. I’m pretty broken up about Donald Trump not running for president.

But you weren’t going to vote for him, anyway.

Yes, but I figured my blog was practically written in advance through 2012. It would have been so easy. I’ll never find anybody like that again.

Jeez Blog Guy, way to make it all about YOU!

I mean, testing the political waters by implying the current President of the United States wasn’t really born here? Who does that?

It’s not tricky, tiki isn’t tacky…

Blog Guy, now that Donald Trump may run for president, what are you going to do? Will you be caught up short at the Goofy Face Museum and Doughnut Shop, what with the scarcity of funny photos of Trump?

Are you kidding me? Our only problem will be whether to build a new wing or just a huge annex to display our Trump collection.

Ah, so it sounds like you’re prepared.

The only way we could be more prepared is if Homer Simpson becomes president.

What do you think of Trump?

I’d say he showed his class again recently when he compared  himself to former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney: “Well, I’m a much bigger businessman,” Trump said on CNN. “And I have a much, much bigger net worth…”

When celebrities cut their own hair…

Blog Guy, I’m tired of striking out with the chicks. What do those big Hollywood stars have that I don’t have? Can you let us in on some of their secrets?

Sorry, I’m not supposed to reveal any of them.

Come on. It’s not like anybody else will see it here in your blog.

Okay. It’s mostly their hair. You take a big star like Sean Penn, he pays fifteen, maybe twenty bucks for a haircut, plus a tip.

Twenty bucks? No!

Yeah, plus the big stars have folk in their entourage that do nothing but make sure they look good in public.

She just watched “Casablanca,” or what?

Quick quiz: The fashion model seen here is weeping because…

a) Peace in the Middle East is such an elusive goal.

b) There just isn’t enough time to help everyone who needs it.

c) “Bridge Over Troubled Water” is SO intense.

d) She is overwhelmed by the incredible beauty of a simple butterfly.

e) She doesn’t like her haircut.

Remember the name Hulga Fekrat…

Blog Guy, I want to pick your brain.

You’re going to need a court order for that.

No, I just want to make use of your wealth of knowledge about the fashion world.

Who are the very, very most beautiful supermodels in the world right now? You know, the ones that can light up a runway with their very presence.

My own list would include Miranda Kerr, Gisele Bundchen and Heidi Klum, but I want to make sure I’m not leaving off someone stellar, Blog Guy.

Indeed you are. Where is the name Hulga Fekrat, for Lord’s sake? Just look at her in photos from a show in London a few days ago. The hair, those hypnotic eyes, the intoxicated breath.