Well, Madison Avenue gets screwed again!

Below, you can see photos of music legend Phil Spector released by corrections officials, without any of his numerous wigs, as he begins a sentence of 19 years to life for the 2003 murder of an actress.

But WAIT! The caption warns that these photos can’t be used for advertising campaigns.

Just suck it up, all you ad agencies champing at the bit to feature a bald, 69-year-old murderer to sell your Dentine or Lucky Charms or whatever.

Sorry, that goes for you guys with the Hair Club for Men advertising account, too.

But here’s what I really like about these photos. As if Spector doesn’t have enough trouble, they add insult to injury by releasing mugshots that show he barely covers the five-foot mark on the wall. Gee thanks, guys!

Spector’s wigs

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Above: Music producer Phil Spector in the Los Angeles Superior Court, for his sentencing for the February 2003 shooting death of actress Lana Clarkson, May 29, 2009. REUTERS/Al Seib/Pool

Left: Shots of Spector, dated June 5, 2009 and released June 10, 2009. REUTERS/California Department of Corrections/Handout. FOR EDITORIAL USE ONLY. NOT FOR SALE FOR MARKETING OR ADVERTISING CAMPAIGNS

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A guy has been sentenced to five months in jail for snatching the toupee off the head of a politician. Five months, and I’m not making that up.

The court’s reasoning was that the wig-grabber deprived the lawmaker of his “freedom to look good.”

Honestly, I wasn’t even aware that there WAS a freedom to look good, or I would have exercised it long ago.

It seems like this landmark decision could be the basis for legal action against the makers of nose rings, pork pie hats and even worse stuff, if there IS worse stuff.

And surely barbers who give mullet haircuts could go to prison for life.

I’d give a lot to see this guy on his first day in the slammer, when he has to tell the other hardened cons that he’s doing time for wig-snatching. They may deprive  him of his freedom to look good pretty quickly.

Video of the wig incident

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Above: Not the guy in the story. Former Philippine presidential contender Eddie Gil touches his wig in 2004 file photo. REUTERS/ Erik de Castro

Left: Wigged women at the E3 Electronic Entertainment Expo in Los Angeles, June 2, 2009. REUTERS/Phil McCarten

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Great news for you chicks who want someone using razor-sharp scissors on your neck and head while balanced upside-down!

Meet Wang Xiaoyu, who has more years of experience at kung fu than at barbering, something I myself look for in a stylist.

Wang is trying to attract more customers by cutting hair while doing a headstand. I’m not making this up.

I happen to think he’s onto something smart, judging from the stuff I hear women saying to each other.

“Hey Ann, you still going to Jean-Pierre?”

“No, he stands upright all the time and just styles hair. What’s the fun in that?”

“I hear you! I’m looking for a guy to cut my hair while riding a unicycle, or maybe while sitting in a vibrating chair.”

“I know, girlfriend! I’m looking for a stylist who’s blindfolded, or at least upside-down. Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

“Yes! Wang! Wang! Grab your head-bandages and let’s go!”

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Wang Xiaoyu, 35, gives a model a haircut while standing on his head near his barbershop in Changsha, Hunan Province May 22, 2009. Wang, a barber of 15 years, has had 18 years of training in kung fu. REUTERS/ Stringer

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Is it just me, or does anybody else notice something disturbing about these photos?

These shots are from a “wellness” fair in Romania, and sure, I have to make fun of the hairstyles because it’s the right thing to do. And no, the word “wellness” doesn’t seem to apply here at all.

But what really jumps out at me is the stylist herself in the bottom photo. She’s very cute, she has lovely hair, and yet here she is applying yellow paint and a slut cut to some helpless model.

What is the unspoken message here? “I have a psychotic hatred of models, so I’m going to make you look like inmates in the jaundice ward at an asylum off of Gin Lane!”

I mean, if you were this model wouldn’t you say to the stylist, “Make me look like you. In fact honey, I think I’ll just go to the stylist who did YOUR hair and makeup!”

Romania fair hair slideshow

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A hairstylist works on the hair of a model during a contest at Romania’s Estetika & Wellness fair in Bucharest, April 11, 2009. REUTERS/ Bogdan Criste

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You goin’ out again, Eddie? What’s in that bag?

Just what I thought! A tacky blond wig, mustache and sideburns, like somethin’ out of Sgt. Pepper’s Frickin’ Lonely Hearts Club Band!

I’m onto you, Eddie! Oh, you think I didn’t spot your stupid photo on that Oddly Enough blog, wearin’ your 1960s disguise and slurping Andre Cold Duck at a Hungarian Fashion Show?

Well Slick, I’m sharin’ that photo with every person you work with, AND your grandma! I’m punchin’ the button now!

Look Grandma, it’s the Bigshot of Budapest!

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A guest watches a model during a fashion show in Budapest February 27, 2009. REUTERS/ Karoly Arvai

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Blog Guy, I’m a huge fan of super heroines and I’m wondering what else is on the horizon from that genre.

Plenty. There’s a good new season coming up. Here’s a publicity still from NBC’s “Amazon Woman!”

Awesome! So she’s like from the Amazon, and she has all the mojo of the rain forest and she…

No. She has a secret hideout back in the stacks at amazon.com. She’s very smart, and when she gets the crisis signal she reads books. See those thick glasses?

That’s boring. Who’s that chick with the dagger?

Ah, that’s “Lots of Problems at Airport Security Girl!” She flies commercially, and it’s hard to go through check-in wearing her outfit. She spends hours in holding areas.

Why would we want to watch that?

It’s HBO. There’s always the chance of a strip-search.

I’m SO THERE, Blog Guy! What’s a few more wasted hours of my life, huh?

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Models present creations during a hair art show at the international beauty festival “Banks of the Neva River” in St Petersburg, Russia, February 22, 2009.

REUTERS photos by Alexander Demianchuk

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Blog Guy, I really need some fashion advice! I’ve been dating a sailor for oh, 70 years or so, and I need help keeping him interested.

How about taking cooking classes?

No, he has very simple dietary tastes. I’m afraid I’ll have to do it with a “new look.”

Okay. Judging from your hair and figure, I’d suggest some of these creations from Fashion Week in Madrid.

Thank you! They’re great! How do you think I look?

Um, well… Have you thought of dating somebody else?

Sure, there’s always Bluto.

That dog from the Disney cartoons? Okay, go for it.

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Models present creations by Juanjo Oliva during the Pasarela Cibeles Autumn/Winter 09-10 Fashion Week in Madrid, February 23, 2009. REUTERS/ Andrea Comas

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Mr, Johnson, the police are very grateful for your help, since you’re the only witness who has come forward about the murder.

May we please go over your description again? I can’t believe our sketch artist got it right.

You say the murderer was a woman, with dark hair “cut just like one of the Stooges,” and yellow lipstick? YELLOW?

Okay, and it says here the woman you saw “had dark crap all around one eye like a raccoon.”

And if I’m reading your statement right, this woman was wearing “white chintz curtains?”

Now think back, Mr. Johnson. What was it that made you think this Stooge-haired, yellow-lipped, coon-eyed, curtain-clad woman might be the killer?

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A model wears a creation by designer Jose Castro during his Fall/Winter 09/10 show at the Cibeles Madrid Fashion Week in Madrid, February 20, 2009. REUTERS/Juan Medina

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Blog Guy, I’m ready for more of your sage advice for aspiring photojournalists. if I want to reach the hearts and minds of the public, what should I be shooting? What’s most important to the people?

Scarlett Johansson’s hairstyle.

What? Who gives a flying… about that?

She changes it quite often, so it’s important to be the first one to shoot the latest. Here you can see seven versions, from this week back to 2003.

I must say, that seems like WAY too many pictures to have on this one thing.

Then you’d LOVE the 24-shot slideshow we did on her hairstyles yesterday.

So why are you holding back on the other shots?

I still have a little of my integrity left.

Um, I don’t get the headline on this post.

That’s okay, a lot of readers will.

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Cast member Scarlett Johansson attends the premiere of the movie “He’s Just Not That Into You” at the Grauman’s Chinese Theater in Hollywood, California, February 2, 2009. REUTERS/Mario Anzuoni

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Blog Guy, I saw a very strange wide shot of President Barack Obama yesterday. It looked like he has a pompadour haircut. Does his hair grow that fast?

I saw that one, too. Remember, it was Groundhog Day. I believe Obama had Punxsutawney Phil perched on his head. Yes, that’s what it looks like.

Now wait! The president would NOT have a groundhog on his head!

You’re right. It’s a wig he wears so he won’t get recognized.

So he won’t get recognized in the fricking Oval Office? That’s nonsense!

Yeah, actually he was doing his spoof of former Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich for the press. It’s very funny.

He was not. Don’t you ever get tired of being wrong?

No, you’d be surprised. You sort of get used to it.

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Governor Rod Blagojevich during a news conference in Chicago, December 19, 2008. REUTERS/Jeff Haynes

President Barack Obama speaks to the press in the Oval Office of the White House, February 2, 2009. REUTERS/Larry Downing

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