Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Was Dr. Seuss in Belarus?

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FASHION-BELARUS/

Blog Guy, I’m a young woman in my first year of college. I should be pulling all-nighters to study for my mid-terms, but I keep falling asleep.

FASHION-BELARUS/You need professional help staying awake, I suggest you go to Belarus. See a designer named Ludmila Labkova. She can tie your hair so tight it’s impossible to close your eyes.

Very tempting, but I frown on artificial aids.

You can’t frown at all, once Ludmila tightens your hair.

Is there any danger with this procedure?

It prevents blood from flowing to your lips, turning them black and paralyzing your jaw.

Fine, I have no oral mid-terms. Where can I find Ludmila?

In the capital, Minsk. She’ll be holding her minks, just back from the Sphinx.

Chicks taking their coiffe medicine?

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hairstyles top this 490

Blog Guy, I have a problem. I’m a very attractive woman and people tell me my hair is one of my best features.

hairstyles vertical combo this 240But whenever I get a new hairstyle, my boyfriend doesn’t even notice! How can I get his attention?

A reader needs my help…

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Blog Guy, I’m a regular reader of your blog, and I need a personal favor.

Sorry, I can’t really get involved with helping people, I’ve got a lot of readers.

UKRAINE/Please! My daughter is going to Washington DC, and I know you live there. She doesn’t know a soul, and I’m hoping you can help her meet some nice young men.

What are you chicks waiting for again?

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FRANCE-FASHION/

“Maggie, what the hell is going on? The fashion show has started, and those three models over there don’t even have their make-up! Let’s get going!”

“But Boss, I can’t do their make-up until their hair is done!”

I love what you’ve done to your hair

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rio hair combo 490

Okay fashion show staff, we’re still looking for ways to save money on these shows, and we think we’ve found a good way to curb the soaring cost of hair stylists.

BRAZIL/There is a group of folks who will work cheap, they are eager to learn and they have lots of time on their hands.

Hey kid, where can I get a haircut like that?

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We have some photos of President Barack Obama speaking at a middle school, where a member of the audience has the word OBAMA shaved in his hair.

Presidential haircuts are a time-honored tradition in this country, and today’s students don’t know how lucky they are to deal with a five-letter name.

Turn on the shellac, Jack!

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Okay cheerleaders, I think we can learn something from the fashion industry.

As many of you know, some design houses have started using dog groomers to style hair for their fashion shows, trying to cut costs in these difficult times.

So now we’re trying the same thing to get our cheerleaders ready to perform.

Why are they saluting our models that way?

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Okay fashion show staff, we’re bleeding cash here!

Our big cost-saving idea of hiring dog groomers to do our models’ hair helped a lot, but look at what we’re spending on lipstick! We can’t keep buying makeup this way!

What? Yes Judy, I guess you COULD say the lipstick problem has us “going down the tubes,” if you want to be really lame about it…

Wearing your chandelier, dear?

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Quick quiz: This photo shows…

a) The risk of letting tall people browse in light fixture shops

b) What happens when a dimwitted assistant is told to create a “bandolier.”

c) A woman who has begun the controversial medical procedure to turn herself into a 1991 Cadillac Fleetwood

Sit! Stay! Who’s a GOOD model?

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Okay fashion show staff, times are hard, and we need to save more money.

We tried using dead models, but it turns out they don’t last long in the bright lights. We hired raccoons to do makeup, but there was that rabies problem.

Now, we think we have the perfect solution to the high cost of hair stylists: dog groomers!