Anybody in advertising will tell you, do what you can to hook the customer. Now, take this watermelon salesman in the picture. I’ll bet buyers flock to him, because he’s got an act.

“Judy, we’re not getting our fruit from those other guys with no melons on their heads, and not even from that fella with only one melon. No, we’re doing business with the one who can balance two melons, until somebody comes along who can do three…”

Of course, maybe it’s all just a sad trick. What if that’s just a very elaborate haircut, or he has a spike through the melons, or what if they’re some of those fancy helium melons we’ve all read about? All we know for certain about this dude is, he arrives at the market looking like this, in a car with an open sunroof. Hmmmm…..

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A Palestinian vendor balances watermelons on his head to attract customers in the West Bank city of Ramallah July 30, 2007. REUTERS/Loay Abu Haykel

Quick quiz: A great compliment when a woman reaches 50 is…

a) Gosh, you look just like Sharon Stone
b) Gosh, you look just like Glen Close
c) Gosh, you look just like Diane Keaton
d) Gosh, you look just like Mao Zedong

Meet Chen Yan, a 51-year-old woman who looks and acts remarkably like Chairman Mao, the Chinese leader in the portrait (left) who died in 1976. Naturally, she’s trying to figure out how to make herself some money out of that. She has movies in mind, but how many Mao flicks the world needs is anybody’s guess.

Meanwhile, she could do children’s birthday parties, celebrity endorsements, stuff like that. On quiet days, she could just go to the mausoleum where Mao’s embalmed body is on display in Beijing, dart in and out of the tourist line, and scare the bejesus out of folks. Here’s the story:

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Chen Yan, a 51-year-old woman, waves to crowds while impersonating China’s late Chairman Mao Zedong, during a photocall in Mianyang, Sichuan province May 26, 2007. REUTERS/Reinhard Krause

Okay, the caption tells us this fashion model is showing swimsuit “accessories.” Nice try. I don’t think this thing counts as an accessory, unless you’re Cleopatra heading for a splash with Mark Antony.

I mean, who goes swimming with a whole pavilion on her head? I don’t care how sexy the bikini might be, folks don’t want to have Miss Hot Stuff flop into the aluminum lounge chair next to them, blocking the rays with a hat that looks like a sundial. 

They will begin to shout rude things, such as: ”Hey Josephine! Does Napoleon know you’ve got his hat?” or “Lady, you got a whopping slice of watermelon on your head!” People can be so cruel. I will say one thing, though. This hat supports my recent theory that designers are now trying to appeal to cats.

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A model shows accessories for a bathing suit from the line of fashion designer Algirmiro Palencia of Venezuela during the opening show of Miami Fashion Week, April 13, 2007. REUTERS/Hans Deryk