Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Wanna come back to MY place, human?

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Blog Guy, I’m a hip young single guy, and I need some dating advice.

You’ve sure come to the right place. I can pretend I know all about that stuff.

I go to singles bars, and sometimes chicks will say, “You want to come back to my place?” But I don’t always know if I should.

I hear you. For starters, if she’s in the parking lot and you haven’t even gone inside yet, you should probably pass.

Wow, thanks! What else?

Well, hair can be a giveaway. If a woman looks as though hers was styled by a helicopter rotor, say something diplomatic, like “Sorry, as you can see, I’m a Roman Catholic priest.”

Major movie star goes nuts?

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Blog Guy, I’m a huge fan of actor Michael Douglas. Any news about him?

Sure. He’s gone totally insane. Bonkers. Mental. Deranged. Nutsy.

Wow! Do you like have deep sources at a mental hospital or clinic or something?

Nah, I’m just looking at his hair from when he showed up for a movie screening in New York yesterday. Does that look like a sane guy’s haircut?

Well no, it doesn’t, but that’s your only evidence?

No. A couple of months ago he started lurking in bushes, and saluting people even though he’s not in the military. As you can see below, I have photos to prove it.

Does this make me look cool?

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Blog Guy, it’s me. That aspiring photojournalist you’re patiently mentoring.

Yes, yes, what is it now?

I’ve been shooting a lot of politicians and government officials. Should I go for photos of them waving, smiling or what?

Still in the bull business, huh?

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Blog Guy, what is Rod Blagojevich, that former Illinois governor, doing since he left office in disgrace?

Good question. That has been a real mystery, until very recently. It appears he took one of those two-week online matador courses, bought a silly outfit, and is now working as a bullfighter in Spain. I spotted him in a photo from Pamplona.

How can we horn in at parties?

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Blog Guy, my friend and I are two young women who have a musical duo. We play violin and tuba.

Interesting, I’m betting there isn’t much competition in that niche market.

Stand up, Mr. Spector. Oh, sorry!

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Well, Madison Avenue gets screwed again!

Below, you can see photos of music legend Phil Spector released by corrections officials, without any of his numerous wigs, as he begins a sentence of 19 years to life for the 2003 murder of an actress.

But WAIT! The caption warns that these photos can’t be used for advertising campaigns.

Hey, it’s a brand-new freedom!

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A guy has been sentenced to five months in jail for snatching the toupee off the head of a politician. Five months, and I’m not making that up.

The court’s reasoning was that the wig-grabber deprived the lawmaker of his “freedom to look good.”

Mr. Wang, novelty hairstylist!

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Great news for you chicks who want someone using razor-sharp scissors on your neck and head while balanced upside-down!

Meet Wang Xiaoyu, who has more years of experience at kung fu than at barbering, something I myself look for in a stylist.

Very 17th century brothel, honey!

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Is it just me, or does anybody else notice something disturbing about these photos?

These shots are from a “wellness” fair in Romania, and sure, I have to make fun of the hairstyles because it’s the right thing to do. And no, the word “wellness” doesn’t seem to apply here at all.

Are you Starsky, or Hutch?

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You goin’ out again, Eddie? What’s in that bag?

Just what I thought! A tacky blond wig, mustache and sideburns, like somethin’ out of Sgt. Pepper’s Frickin’ Lonely Hearts Club Band!

I’m onto you, Eddie! Oh, you think I didn’t spot your stupid photo on that Oddly Enough blog, wearin’ your 1960s disguise and slurping Andre Cold Duck at a Hungarian Fashion Show?