Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Your bailout money hard at work?

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Blog Guy, I heard you have a budget for creating fantasy photos that your readers request. Right?

Yeah, I did get some of that Wall Street bailout money, but you’d better ask fast.

hair-peacock-200.jpgOkay. What would it look like if, um, a woman was out walking around in old-fashioned hair curlers and then a big fat peacock crashed on her head?

I can arrange that. What else?

Uh, let’s say a chick went to the Indiana State Fair and got her head stuck in a cotton candy machine for a day and a half before they heard her cries for help?

Heads-up, fashion designers!

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fashion-heads-crop-160.jpgIf you’re like me, you’ve been noticing an increase in two-headed people walking around. Maybe it has to do with global warming or some tragic Botox experiments, I’m not really sure.

Anyway, readers have been saying to me, “Bob, shouldn’t they have their own fashion, and not have to buy the same clothes one-headed people wear?”

Look! It’s Super Leftover Fashion Woman!

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super-crop-200.jpgBlog Guy, I think I’d really like to be a superhero chick. I want a comic book and movie franchise and junk like that. Can you help?

Well, you don’t seem super-creative, so I guess we can rule that out. I suggest you hit one of the big fashion shows, where they show what the next caped crusaders will be wearing.

Annie, get your gun!

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fashion-annie-musical-200.jpg Blog Guy, I was mugged at gunpoint. I’m ashamed to go to the police because, well, I think it was a chick who played Annie in that Broadway musical. It was a nightmare!

You were mugged by a nine-year-old?

No, this one is all grown up now. But I’d know that red hair and chipper voice anyplace!

Hey look! Isn’t that Fonzie?

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Quick quiz: what personal hygiene chore is acceptable at a public parade?

hair-brush-crop-120.jpg* flossing to get big chunks of meat out of your teeth

* clipping your big old curling yellow toenails

* cleaning your ears with a waxy cotton swab you found

* brushing your hair

Yeah, I suppose if you have to do one of those, hair brushing would be the best.

Unless of course you try one of those Arthur Fonzarelli moves and you can’t even hold on to your brush, and the woman next to you gives a look of disgust, and then the parade marchers start shouting “Dork! Dork! Dork! over the loudspeaker.

Mom! You didn’t hafta come to PTA!

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Quick quiz: This photo shows…

fashion-brooke-140.jpga) a popular one-woman Broadway tribute to all six wives of Henry VIII.

b) the television scene where Lucy wants to meet the Sultan of Brunei, so she uses Fred’s old Vaudeville props and….heck, I don’t even have to finish this sentence!

c) a woman who, for no apparent reason, was stopped from going up to the stage at a John McCain rally. 

Try pushing this button, blondie!

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umbrellas-2-180.jpgBlog Guy, I heard there was a competition in England for dumb blondes, where they…

Excuse me? We don’t engage in such stereotypes in this blog.

Sorry. I mean, a competition for motorcycle models who are fair-haired. Anyway, I wanted to find out how it came out.

Go ahead Doc, it’s only my eye!

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lens-2-160.jpgThese days, I’m being treated to a flood of photos showing what people will do to themselves to support their favorite team at Euro 2008. Yesterday, you saw a couple of the haircuts, but it gets a lot worse than that.

I have to wonder what sort of conversation took place before this guy in Basel, the city of my ancestry, jammed a Swiss flag contact lens into his eye.

Take your stylist to the cleaners!

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hair-nest-200.jpgWelcome to a feature we call “Can I sue my freaking hairdresser?” Folks send us photos of God-awful hair, and we give legal advice.

We’re getting queries from soccer fans who went too far for Euro 2008. Sports-related bad haircuts are always thrown out, so these three below are out of luck. Oh, my mistake - the lady with red hair turns out to be an actual model, at a Hair Expo, so she can sue and will win big.

Did you just cut off my ear?

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We have video of a hair stylist trying for a world record by using 10 scissors to cut a woman’s hair. How did that conversation go?

“Morning, Miss Todd. Mind if I use 10 sharp scissors to slash into your hair like an industrial shredder?”