Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Nine ways to lose weight and live forever

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People say to me all the time, “Bob, your blog is SO stupid, how do you get people to read it?”

These folks don’t understand how online journalism works. You can write anything you want, and if you put a good headline on it people will read it. Especially if you hint at immortality, easy weight loss or better sex.

If your headline offers a numbered list, that’s even better. The best thing of all is a moderately clever play on words, which will attract people who think they are smart, and improve your demographics.

Toss in a photo of a nice dog or the Duchess of Cambridge, and it’s a hit.

The strain on Cain is changing his campaign?

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In case some of you missed it because of the freak snowstorm, I’m going to mention an unusual political story from Saturday. It involves Herman Cain, one of the front-runners for the Republican Party’s presidential nomination.

According to the Associated Press, Cain said he will “dial back” his campaign and media appearances in order to avoid missteps.

Class, get out your rulers…

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Blog Guy, I’ve heard that the British Royal Family isn’t very well educated. That’s hard to believe, what with being the land of Shakespeare and everything.

Well, it turns out that when you spend all day changing into different costumes and hats and jewelry and stuff, your education can be neglected.

The importance of…Have I used this headline before?

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It’s summer, Blog Guy, and that means lots of funny local competitions. I hope you’re monitoring those for your readers.

I’m all over it. Looks like they just had some kind of “Plump Old Coot” contest in Key West, Florida, open to guys with big guts, white beards and Boy Scout uniforms. I have a photo of six of them.

Let me regalia with a story…

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Needless to say, we’re very excited about the big unveiling, Lamar. We hired you to design military uniforms for our newly independent country because of your reputation.

As the very best?

No, as the very cheapest. So let’s see what you’ve come up with.

Wow! I LOVE it! Braid, epaulets, sashes, brass buckles, kilts, spats, doodads, frippery, geegaws…

The carrot and the shtick?

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Hey Blog Guy, it’s me. That guy who collects photographs of famous people with vegetables. Bet you didn’t think you’d hear from me again.

Well, I did change my photo and got new sunglasses. What do you want? The last time I offered you photos of Michelle Obama with sweet potatoes and you said that wasn’t special enough.

The Rhymes they are A-Changin’

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Blog Guy, I read in a Reuters story that some previously unpublished lyrics by legendary songwriter Bob Dylan are going up for auction this month.

Yes, it’s an incredible window into the creative process. The lyrics are heavily annotated, sometimes in crayon, so you can actually see how they evolved.

You betcha those British are comin’!

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Blog Guy, I’m surprised you didn’t get involved in the Sarah Palin thing a couple of days ago, when she told her goofy version of Paul Revere’s ride.

Yeah, I do have to admit that was the best video clip I’ve seen since Miss South Carolina immortalized herself a few years ago.

Shermanize me another burger, honey!

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williams sonoma 490

Blog Guy, I’ve been a real fan of Williams-Sonoma, that shop for pretentious foodies, ever since I first read about it here. Is their Summer Cookout Catalog out yet?

Yes, and it’s fabulous! I recommend this item at the top, the Deluxe Outdoor Guacamole Maker, $299.99. You can serve up perfect fresh guacamole, while your guests watch with envy!

Give your money to me

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JAPAN-QUAKE/THAILAND

No, I don’t really want you to send me your money. Unless, you know, you don’t want it.

That headline was just a trick, a gimmick that we journalists sometimes use to get you to read stories you wouldn’t otherwise notice.