Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Along came a slider who sat down beside her…

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fashion sliders 490

Lamar, we’ve got another big fashion show today. What have you done to cut costs? I’m worried about this rule that we have to have food for the models.

COLOMBIA/Are you kidding, Boss? That costs us nothing! I just put out the five sliders again.

Excuse me? What sliders?

Sorry Boss, I thought you knew. Back in 1958 my grandmother made some little hamburgers for our very first fashion show. They were so plump and succulent, of course the models didn’t dare come near them.

Now, I put the same burgers out each year and spritz a little Eau de Boeuf spray around the table.

Flouting the health warnings?

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frozen lips 490

Blog Guy, congratulate me. I just enlisted in the military. I’m a flute player, so I’m guaranteed a gig in a marching band.

No shooting, just fluting?

Durned tooting!

flute 320That’s great. So which branch of the service did you join? Army? Air Force?

Who’s your crawdaddy now?

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You get a line and I’II get a pole,
And we’ll go down to the Crawdad hole,
Honey, sugar baby, mine,

Blog Guy, you look preoccupied. What are you doing?

If you must know, I’m pounding out my next million dollar screenplay for Hollywood. It’s a science fiction story, ripped from today’s headlines.

Love Hmong the Ruins, a very goofy year

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VIETNAM

After all the various lists of best stories and photos and signs of the Apocalypse and bad fashion and stuff, this blog all comes down to fun.

I just get a special enjoyment from doing some items, and I hope it shows. Sometimes it’s because people do real things that you would never imagine. Other times a photo or germ of an idea just makes me laugh and I take off with it.

Fashion shows aren’t brain surgery?

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I can’t put my finger on it, Lamar, but there’s something strange about the models we’re using for this fashion show. They’re not the usual girls, are they?

FASHION/No Boss, you said we had to save some money, and I had a brilliant idea. You’re gonna love this one.

Mind your manors, Blog Guy…

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nonsuch crop 490

Blog Guy, I am enthralled by a little bit of history I stumbled upon in a Reuters story. Are you familiar with a royal palace built by King Henry VIII in the 1500s and named Nonsuch, because no other palace could match its splendor?

PLAYBOYThe story says a 16th century watercolor of Nonsuch, one of the very few detailed depictions known to exist, is expected to fetch nearly $2 million. Anything that sheds some light on the palace is worth a fortune.

Zombie nun scares poor little doggie!

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SPAIN/

Blog Guy, you went too far in your blog a couple of weeks ago when you implied that people in Spain aren’t happy unless they are “killing, maiming, torturing or frightening poor animals.”

Let me get this straight. You had to go back two whole weeks to catch me going too far? I must be slipping.

Then when I was six, we went to a zoo…

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USA/

Blog Guy, I’m starting to get scared about this Apocalypse thing you keep writing about. A few days ago it was people trying to auction off embalming tools used on Elvis Presley. What next? Can the signs get any worse than that?

USA/Indeed they can, and they have.

Oh my God! There’s another sign? What have you seen now? Don’t sugar-coat it!

Buckle up, I’ll bewitch you shortly…

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Blog Guy, I’m coming to you because I know you build airplanes as a sideline. My company just bought a new, state-of-the-art Falcon 900EX.

I know that plane well. Supple leathers seats, glistening veneers, soft, deep pile carpeting. Goes 4,550 nautical miles nonstop. Is there a problem?

The Hickey Queen of Floozy High?

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Blog Guy, last week you did an item on a traditional Chinese therapy that involves putting suction cups on a person’s back, and you seemed to poke fun at it.

OLYMPICS/I SEEMED to poke fun at it? Maybe I’m getting too subtle lately.

As a practitioner of this therapy, I demand that you write about its benefits. Here you can see a very healthy woman who has undergone our treatment. I will admit that the suction therapy did leave a slight discoloration in a couple of spots on her back…