Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
That eatery, employing all the knee- slapping humor that life-threatening coronary disease has to offer, serves up a “Quadruple Bypass Burger” to customers, and when they’re finished, a waitress pushes them out to the car in a wheelchair.
If you think I’m making this up, check out our slideshow.
If this place is a success, look for restaurants exploiting the rich humor to be found in brain tumors, Alzheimer’s and third degree burns.
“Sorry sir, our “Big Burn Burger’ only comes well-done…”
Quick quiz: It’s late one evening. You’re going door-to-door selling cheap homemade lunchmeat, and these three guys open the door.
You say to them…
a) “I smell oil. You guys frying something?”
b) You gladiators ain’t welcome around here!”
c) “I could look like that myself, if I was nuts.”
d) “Is this a house full of Libertarians?”
e) “Do you have a minute to talk about the Lord?”
Some radical news from Beijing. China is going to ban smoking in all hospitals. What a concept, preventing smoking in a building filled with sick people, many of them already seriously ill from smoking.
Bye Mom, I’m off to school!
Not so fast, young lady! Did you brush your teeth? Floss your nasal passages?
Mom! As IF I’d ever forget to floss my passages!
Just thread some string or tubing into your nostril and out of your mouth, then go back and forth, kind of like a hack saw.
Hello, police? I need to report a robbery. My department store was robbed today. They took a bunch of wristwatches from our jewelry department.
What? Did I notice every person on the street today? Now that you mention it, they WERE all wearing surgical masks! Oh, right - the flu.
Blog Guy, I have a medical question. Among all the various ages, ethnicities, ages, races and professions, is there any single group that is most at risk for attention deficit disorders?
Absolutely. Recent studies show that officials in the natural gas field are 32 times more likely to have attention issues. Here are a bunch of those guys simply trying to pose for a group photo at a recent meeting. They can’t even look at a frickin’ camera and say cheese.
Let’s face it, the human skeleton is a sexy thing. You take a bunch of bare bones, add a bikini, and you’ve got the makings of a beauty queen, right?
Quick quiz: The man in this photo…
b) is a Kindle reader who just HATES the new John Grisham book!
c) is disappointed to realize he could’ve had a V8.
d) is killing flies by a method that isn’t doctor-recommended.
This item is for all you college seniors writing in to ask me about careers in the exciting field of iron sheet disposal. I can tell you from tough personal experience that it’s not as glamorous as it looks.
I’m not going to prolong it. The Worst Job in the World title came down to a number of factors – danger, grossness, fecalocitude, etc.