Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Roscoe’s House of WHAT, Mr. President?

Photo
-

Hey Blog Guy, a couple of days ago you illustrated your piece on high-cholesterol foods with a lot of photos of President Barack Obama with junk food, and you said, “If I want to know what foods I should avoid…I’ll just follow the presidential motorcade.” You were just joking, right?

Maybe, maybe not. That item ran on Monday, so let’s see where the Obama motorcade would have taken us on that very day.

Oops, here we are at Roscoe’s House of Chicken and Waffles, in Los Angeles.

Uh-oh. That can’t be good.

Yeah, let’s just say when Obama is on the road, you seldom find him stopping at Slappy’s House of Cauliflower and Tofu.

All aboard for the Lipitor City Express!

Photo
-

Readers of this blog know I have little patience with “stories” that not only state the obvious, but find it necessary to deliver the information in list form, for folks who are intimidated by paragraphs.

Hot on the heels of “8 Foods to Banish from your Diet” I have stumbled upon another time-waster, headlined “10 High-Cholesterol Foods to Avoid.”

Let’s do something spontaneous, Baby!

Photo
-

Hey Blog Guy, how come you’re sitting in that huge tub of ice cubes up to your neck?

That’s my new “home.” I eat, sleep and blog here, under constant monitoring.

Eating healthy for peanuts?

Photo
-

Blog Guy, so we’ve established that you lost some weight recently. I found your health tips helpful, but could you be more specific about what you ate?

Sure. I ate everything with a pulse.

So you went on an all-meat diet?

No, no, I mean pulse as in the edible seeds of certain legumes. Peas, beans, lentils, peanuts. VERY healthful stuff.

So, Doc, is it a boy or a girl?

Photo
-

Blog Guy, I’ve heard our elected officials don’t earn much, and they have to find ways to supplement their income. Is that true?

Uh-oh, I suppose you’re going to ask me about former vice president Spiro T. Agnew, right?

A loco motive for doing this?

Photo
-

Hey Doctor, it’s me! Earl! I’m calling from out here on the railway line where you sent me. Are you positive this will make me better?

Yes Earl, we’re on the right track.

You say the electrical energy from the rails will cure me, but how do I get it from the train into me?

Texting on the lawn, a rough row to mow?

Photo
-

This is the season when thousands of people are being injured by doing really stupid things with a dangerous gadget, and I guess nothing can be done about it because it’s probably protected by that Second Amendment.

Naturally, I’m talking about the lawn mower.

According to a shocking new story, people are doing stuff like cutting the grass in flip-flops, drinking alcohol while they mow, and even talking on the phone or texting.

Five great tips for keeping in shape

Photo
-

Blog Guy, you seem to have lost some weight, judging from your blog profile photo, and it looks like you’re working out, as well. Please share some health and fitness tips with your readers.

Okay. The first thing is to figure out what you should weigh. There are plenty of free online tools for calculating your Body Mass Index, which is a simple function of your height and weight.

So there isn’t a Toaster Pastry Diet?

Photo
-

Okay, we already know there are a lot of really stupid people out there, but it may be time to recalibrate my measuring scale.

I just clicked on an item headlined “8 Foods to Banish from your Diet,” expecting it would offer some surprise foods that have more calories than most people think.

You have something on your…oh, never mind!

Photo
-

Blog Guy, I need your advice on my dating life. I’ve tried everything, but can’t seem to get guys to notice me.

Have you tried tobacco?

Smoking? Gosh, so many people do that, nobody would even care if I did it.

No, not smoking. Have you tried jamming the tobacco right up your nose?  That’s a very chic, very sophisticated look.