Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Blog Guy, as someone who hangs out with the power elite, can you tell me how they manage to stay in shape? I mean, they must get free food anytime they want, so how do they cope with all that?
Really? It’s that simple? I’m not doubting you, but it’s kind of hard to believe. So who does Michelle Obama use, just for instance?
She uses Archbishop Desmond Tutu. Here she is, following his tough calisthenics regimen while practicing her goofy faces at the same time. It’s called “multi-tasking.”
Quick quiz: Speaker of the House John Boehner is puffing on a cigarette…
b) in Ohio or someplace like that.
c) in an airplane lavatory after invoking his Congressional Smoke Detector Disabling Privileges.
d) at a White House picnic.
You’re not going to believe this, but he is indeed at a White House family picnic, complete with foot-long hot dogs, a pie-throwing contest, and impressionable children.
Okay, here is another real news story that is so goofy I don’t know what to make of it.
It has been reported from London that British spies hacked into an al Qaeda Website to replace instructions on how to build a bomb with recipes for making cupcakes.
Blog Guy, you know that city in Siberia that you like to call Wackytown? Didn’t you say you organize tours there, so your readers can see for themselves?
Yes, Krasnoyarsk is the goofiest spot on earth. Maybe you’d like to sign up for my upcoming ski resort holiday there.
Man, I love it when true stuff is stranger than anything I could make up for my blog. I mean, it’s like having a day off.
So I’m looking at an e-mail from the Pottery Barn folks, and down below the duvet covers and patchwork quilts I see something called Safety Recall Information. It informs me the chain is recalling a hammock stand.
Man, I gotta say, that was just creepy!
What was, Lamar?
Are you kidding, Clancy? You didn’t see who was just here?
No, I was watching that Lady Gaga video on the big screen. Who was it?
She was NOT!
That IS strange. I don’t think she’s even a member here! What did she do?
She told me this machine is “jolly good for one’s quadriceps.”
Blog Guy, I need some of your famous career advice. I want to find a job.
What’s been holding you back, if I might ask?
Well, I’ve had a run of bad luck that left me pretty skinny. First, I fell asleep on the liposuction machine and it ran all night, and then I got a tapeworm….
Gosh. I suppose maybe you could…
I’m not finished with my sad story. Then I got lost in a cave for six weeks without any food. When I finally got out, I was rescued by a weight loss club.
Quick quiz: The politician puffing away in this photo is…
a) Going to be grounded if her mom catches her smoking again…
b) Not likely to be the first stop on “Take Your Child to Parliament Day”
c) The star of a one-woman stage tribute to legendary musician Roy Orbison
d) A senior Canadian cabinet minister
Congratulations if you guessed d). She is the International Cooperation Minister for Canada. Really.