Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Flouting the health warnings?

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frozen lips 490

Blog Guy, congratulate me. I just enlisted in the military. I’m a flute player, so I’m guaranteed a gig in a marching band.

No shooting, just fluting?

Durned tooting!

flute 320That’s great. So which branch of the service did you join? Army? Air Force?

Nah, my buddy Lamar and I joined Japan’s Self-Defense Force. We think the food will be better.

Wait a second. Japan Self-Defense Force? They play outdoors at the Sapporo Snow Festival!

Fall fashions? Your slip is showing…

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BRAZIL/

Johnson, get your butt into my office! You call yourself a news photographer? You’ve covered the fashion show all week, and not a single shot of a model falling down!

Well thankfully it’s been a pretty safe show, Boss…

BRAZIL/Thankfully? You think readers wanna see skinny chicks standing upright in boring outfits? They want pratfalls! Accidents!

The warm, buttery, gooey diet?

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cinnabon diet 490

Blog Guy, my friend told me about a big new miracle diet. I’m skeptical because it seems so unusual, but I thought I’d ask you.

FRANCE-FASHION/I’m guessing you mean that Cinnabon Diet.

Yes! That’s it! Does it really work?

It must. Look at the women in these pictures. See how pretty their faces are? Great legs, nice arms…

Two words I hate to see together

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Blog Guy, you seem upset. What is it?

LIFE-ACUPUNCTURE/I just read a health story that said they’re considering using acupuncture to treat people with “lazy eye.”

So?

Look, my readers know I’ve come to grips with a number of oxymorons in this blog. Stuff like “homemade submarines” and “amateur bullfighting.

Gives new meaning to buck privates?

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naked troops 490

Blog Guy, I know you’re an expert on military tactics and strategies. What do you think is the most effective fighting force in the world today?

That would be China’s feared Commando-Style Commandos.

I’ve never heard of them. Are they lean and mean?

naked campfires 320No, more like lewd and nude. They operate stark-naked, creating diversions to help the regular troops.

Mr. Custer, a Death Panel wants to see us

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death panels overseas 490 this

Blog Guy, I continue to be impressed that you’re the only blogger giving us comprehensive coverage of those U.S. Government Death Panels that Sarah Palin warned us would be part of health care reform.

mexico army vertical 240I do have a question for you. This is a fairly recent concept, right?

Far from it. Death Panels to relieve suffering are an old idea. A number of countries have tried them.

In one ear and out the other?

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INDIA/

Blog Guy, I have a personal hygiene question. I can’t seem to keep my ears clean enough. I use cotton swabs four times a day, but there’s still a waxy yellow build-up.

Swabs, huh? How far do you stick them in?

INDIAI stop when I hit something solid.

That could be your problem right there. In other countries they have professional ear cleaners on the street, and they do it right.

Look sweetie, news we can use!

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CUBA/

We journalists are trying really hard these days to give people content that really makes a difference to them.

The very technical news media name for it is “news you can use.” A good example is an actual story from Mexico this week…

Okay, make a wish!

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INDIA-ECONOMY/

Blog Guy, you occasionally offer advice on jobs we should stay away from, and I wondered if you’ve seen anything recently.

Yes. This photo illustrates a very good example of a field not to pursue if you can avoid it.

How drunk do you have to BE, Lamar?

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So Doc, tell me. How did the operation go to remove that cyst? I feel great!

ODD-GERMANY/BULLETWell Lamar, surprisingly it wasn’t a cyst at all. It was a bullet, lodged right there in your head, I’d say for five or six years. You’ve been carrying it around all this time.

A bullet, huh? I’ll be! I guess that would be from a New Year’s Eve party.