Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Insert zany cartoon sound here…

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SPAIN/

Honey, is that you? How was your fight? Did you torture another poor creature to death?

Mmmmmpffffffffff…..

I can’t understand what you’re saying. Sounds like somebody stopped off for a few beers with his amigos, huh?

SPAIN/Urrrrrfwack!

I’m just thinking about dinner, hon. How about a nice butt steak?

Nogo nogo!

Ah, I know, a RUMP roast! We can serve it with buns!

Nogo nogo nogo!

And for dessert, your favorite! Black bottom pie!

Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

I guess I’d better start cooking, sweetie. I don’t want to get, uh, behind! Open the window a crack, will you?

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Spanish banderiller Pedro Muriel is gored by a bull during a bullfight at the Malagueta bullring in Malaga August 22, 2010. Banderillers are bullfighter’s assistants whose role is to weaken the bull’s massive neck and shoulder muscles using harpoon pointed sticks known as banderillas (little flags). Muriel was gored in the right thigh but his wound is not serious, said his manager Ignacio Gonzalez to the magazine Mundotoro. REUTERS/Jon Nazca

Don’t show him your butt, Lamar!

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Until today, my favorite oxymoron – and I’ve blogged on the subject frequently – was “homemade submarine.”

bull amateur 300But now, we have a new winner. This video clip shows a spectator being gored during an “amateur bullfight.” I am not making that up.

I don’t want what he had…

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MEXICO/

“Lamar, aren’t you gonna finish your fish taco? Then whose is it? Ah, that dead guy’s?

“Well he’s not gonna finish it, so shove it over here, I’m still hungry.

Hi, we’re the Death Panel! Is now a good time?

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CHINA/

Blog Guy, you’re the only journalist in the country who is seriously covering those Government Death Panels that Sarah Palin warned us about, which were created under health care reform. These things are evil and brutal, and I hope you get a Pulitzer for your work.

CHINA/Thanks, you’re much too kind. I do consider it a majorĀ  story. Did you have a question about the panels?

With trends like that, who needs enemas?

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CHINA/

Blog Guy, my doctor says I have to get a colonoscopy. I understand it’s a really awful ordeal what with having to, you know, totally clean yourself out, and then go into the clinic and have an anesthetic and then they jam that thing you-know-where.

xray vertical 220Like most people, I come to you for all my tough medical questions. Is there an easier way to take this test?

It’s another razzle-dazzle death!

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POLAND/

Blog Guy, you seem to be the only one really covering those Government Death Panels that were created by the health reform law.

SAUDI-ARABIA/I guess like most federal agencies, they’ve probably settled into a certain predictable sameness by now, right?

Gosh, isn’t this a pretty dumb thing to do?

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hot coals walk 490

Blog Guy, the company I work for is having one of those motivational retreats for employees. We’ll face up to our fears, grow as a person, stuff like that. Have you ever been to one of those?

Yeah, I’ve been to a few. For a long time I had a very low opinion of them. I saw them only as corporate bull. Time-wasting, jargon-slinging crapfests for losers who can’t think for themselves.

The Hickey Queen of Floozy High?

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Blog Guy, last week you did an item on a traditional Chinese therapy that involves putting suction cups on a person’s back, and you seemed to poke fun at it.

OLYMPICS/I SEEMED to poke fun at it? Maybe I’m getting too subtle lately.

As a practitioner of this therapy, I demand that you write about its benefits. Here you can see a very healthy woman who has undergone our treatment. I will admit that the suction therapy did leave a slight discoloration in a couple of spots on her back…

Sucks to lose weight…

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CHINA/

The actual genuine photo caption here says this guy is undergoing “cupping treatment at a weight loss center” in China.

CHINA/It goes on to say that cupping treatment “involves creating negative pressures within glass containers, which are then inverted and placed onto the back of a patient.”

Happy Father’s Day to dads everywhere!

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PAKISTAN/

Welcome back to a regular feature we like to call, “What Year is this Again?” in in which we offer up news items which cause us to question whether we may have gone back in time.

PEOPLE-JACKSON/Here, in a photo I had figured for about 400 BC but which turns out to have been taken just four days ago, this guy is holding his FIVE-MONTH-OLD SON over a crocodile.