Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Blog Guy, you’re a very well connected Washington insider. Now that it looks like we’re really going to have health care legislation, will there be these so-called “death panels” that decide whether folks live or die?
Sad to say, I believe there will be, and in fact a few of the Death Panels have already started working. As this extraordinary photo shows, the anonymous masked panel members even render their God-like verdicts on small children, like this helpless tyke in a hospital bed.
Wait a minute. Hold the damned phone. I think that’s Pippi Longstocking!
I’m not so sure, but if it is, do you think celebrities should get special treatment from the Death Panels?
You’re missing the point, Blog Guy!
I hear that a lot.
Now try to follow me here. It appears to me that this is only a doll, not a real person. Do you understand now? Is it sinking in?
Blog Guy, you have to help me! I’m frantic from worrying about global warming. I think about it all the time, and now I can’t sleep. I’m a physical wreck…
Calm down. If you want help, get yourself over to Copenhagen, where those U.N. climate talks are going on.
Blog Guy, you’re an expert at fashion and beauty advice. I really need help attracting men. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I’m an attractive blue-eyed blonde, I accessorize tastefully, I…
Let me stop you there for a minute, honey. There’s a freaking worm crawling across your face!
Blog Guy, I know all contact sports have risks. Boxing, football, fencing, they can all take their toll. Is there any threat that is especially common to soccer players?
Absolutely. There is the tragedy of soccer blindness, as seen here in these terrifying photos. It afflicts hundreds of players every year, usually during an actual game.
According to the founder of the World Toilet Organization, the reason people are so reluctant to talk about hygiene is that it isn’t cool. He may have a point.
Television and movies show us what’s cool, and they don’t show toilets. Sure, Fonzie frequently checked out his hair in the bathroom, but you just saw a mirror.
On the topic of life imitating art, this guy in the bottom photo is straight out of one of my favorite short stories. I’ll be pretty impressed if any readers can identify it.
But enough of that. I hate to admit it, but I guess I just don’t get out enough.
First, I want to thank all you doctors for coming to this Humiliation Committee meeting to discuss our problem today. I know it’s a Thursday, so you should be enjoying a four-day weekend, as usual.
get plenty of sleep
think soothing, happy thoughts
enjoy a refreshing alcoholic beverage
Yeah, I thought that last one was pretty lame myself, but it turns out a politician from Ireland’s governing party has said “jumpy” drivers might benefit from having a relaxing alcoholic drink to steady their nerves.
Blog Guy, I need to get some medical advice from you in the strictest confidence. I am a very famous person. You may just call me Ronaldo.
Ah. You’re that guy from the big hamburger franchise? You ARE famous!
No. That would be Ronald McDonald. I myself am RONALDO, a huge soccer star, but I have injured my ankle. I need to play again soon. What do you recommend?
Blog Guy, I’m curious about the psychology of fashion models. Do they just wear anything they’re given, or do they have strong personal feelings about the creations?
That is a very astute question. Usually, a model wears any piece of rancid garbage some nutjob designer wraps around her wispy body.