Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Them flip-flops ain’t makin’ it, honey!

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Over there in Britain, some unions have set off a heated debate by demanding that women have the right to wear comfortable shoes in the workplace.

Guys, in case you’re total morons, “comfortable” is a code word for ugly.

My first reaction to this was fine, there’s no job where a woman really needs to wear stiletto heels, but after doing some research in our photo archive, I found quite a few.

It turns out you need high heels for farming, riding a motorcycle, running for vice-president and working in a car wash, just to name a few, and that’s not even to mention how much you need them if your job is being Jennifer Aniston.

Don’t do anything abnormal, dear!

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Now don’t panic, readers. Appearances can be deceiving. I know it LOOKS like these folks have hooks piercing their skin, but in reality…

Oh, sorry. It turns out that IS what’s going on here.

“Bye Brenda, you have fun with your friends at the tattoo convention, and be careful!”

You don’t haggle at Kroger?

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Quick quiz: In this photo on the right, President Obama is saying to the Kroger manager…

    “Five bucks for clementines? I pay $3.99 at the Safeway near the White House! “What the frick is a clementine?” “Do you sell these things in heavy syrup in a can? “I’m thinkin’ of gettin’ these for my death panels. You know how many pounds it takes to kill a really old person?”

Actually, the most interesting thing that happened at that Kroger visit was when Obama took a piece of fruit and ate it in front of everybody. The White House said he paid for it “seconds later.”

What could go wrong with a vasectomy?

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Today we have a video report on a woman who has created something truly remarkable – what she believes to be the world’s biggest scissors.

I think this may be the same person who last year designed a super laser and nearly captured the record for the most laser eye surgeries in under two minutes.

Presenting the butt-naked diet?

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People often say to me, “Bob, how do you stay so thin?”

Of course they’re just being sarcastic and cruel, but it happens I am on an unusual diet these days, and expect to be ready for a Cape Cod beach vacation by November.

My secret? I’ve gone on the “Live with saggy naked people diet.”

Iguana hold your hand…

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Blog Guy, I’m attending a huge heavy metal festival in Wacken, Germany, and the officials here have just asked us to avoid “hugging, kissing on the cheek, and shaking hands,” for fear of spreading that H1N1 flu.

What’s the fun of being a reveler if we can’t do those things? Not to mention, who wants to listen to this heavy metal crap without something else to distract them?

Cut faster, Doc, here comes a big wave!

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Blog Guy, I’ve helped raise contributions for one of those fantastic floating hospitals, the ones that take operating rooms to distant places to help sick people. Why don’t you ever write about those?

Well, I’m sure some of them are wonderful, but some I’ve seen first-hand have been a bit disappointing. Like the one in this photo.

Doc, it hurts when I do this!

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Blog Guy, I heard there has been a huge recall of military weapons because of a safety defect. What can you tell us about this?

It’s true. It turns out if you open that little thingy on the side and stick your forefinger in there and then let the bolt slam against it enough times, your finger will turn purple, as shown by the victim in this photo.

We found him! He really exists!

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You’re not going to believe this. The guy in the photo below, according to our caption, is a snake oil salesman.

That’s right. The very phrase synonymous with hooey, bunkum, hogwash, and still he’s making a living at it in Myanmar. Don’t they have thesauruses over there?

Should they be laughing at me?

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Oh crap, what have I done?

I’m pretty sure this is about the time that bull is supposed to be dead.I KNOW I shouldn’t be riding upside-down on his back, hanging onto these pointy things while idiots laugh at me from the stands.

I should’ve listened to my guidance counselor who wanted me to go into TV repair. But I said, “No, I REALLY want to wear pink socks!”